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AIBU?

To feel like giving up on my degree

45 replies

notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 16:52

Hey all;

I'm in my final year at University (Spent 4 years at Uni, the last year I had mitigating circumstances so couldn't finish off my third year, so decided to take another year at uni. I have then asked for an extension as I missed out of a lot of classes due to DS having SEN, multiple appointments, assessments and so on.

I feel like giving up. I feel so bad for DS (6) as I've hardly taken him out anywhere during this holiday period. I put him into Summer camp so he does not get bored (and because I want to be able to finish off my work while his around at hime).

I have an extension; so I submit my final projects in two weeks time. But it's taking forrreeever, if any of you have taken an Art and Design course, you will know how intensive the subject is. To design my magazine layout etc ..I will spend two hours on one page!

I want at least a 2.1 as this is required to get into my Masters Course. But I'm struggling. I should be out there enjoying my summer, taking DS to a multiple of fun places, not stuck at home and working on projects.

I feel like giving up and scrapping this degree together.

Sad

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Rumpelstiltskin143 · 25/07/2016 16:55

DON'T. Certainly not with so little time left to go.

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monkeywithacowface · 25/07/2016 16:57

I feel your pain. Also final year with ds with SN. Should be writing my dissertation but want to be enjoying the summer with the kids and working on those little areas of difficulties with ds that we just don't get time to during term time. Feeling very meh about the whole thing right now.

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Pauperback · 25/07/2016 16:57

Of course you shouldn't. You're almost there, and against what sounds like considerable odds. This is just your understandable exhaustion speaking.

(Although are you really planning to go straight on and apply for an MA without a break when you feel this jaded with it all?)

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NattyTile · 25/07/2016 16:57

You're so nearly there! Don't give up now! This is one summer - DS will have a blast at holiday club, you can knock this out, and it really will be worth it.

If you give up now, all the sacrifices you've already made to get this far will be for nothing. Don't waste them. You've got this! You can so do it! Don't think about the whole thing if it's too much, just set yourself a target for the next small task. And then breathe, and do the next one.

Keep going! You're nearly there. This is like the 25th mile of a marathon - you're so close now.

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BrendaFurlong · 25/07/2016 17:00

I recognise this feeling. It's a form of perfectionism - if it can't be perfect I'll not do it at all. But perfectionism stops progress. Get it good enough. If you have time you can make it better. An ok something is always better than a perfect nothing.

And it will be worth it.

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TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 25/07/2016 17:01

Finish the degree. Once you've got it no-one can ever take it away from you.

But I'd think about a break before you take on a Masters.

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ailith · 25/07/2016 17:02

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Don't do it! You are almost there! Keep going.
Good luck!

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notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 17:04

Pauperback No, the course doesn't allow it, you have to have a years experience for admission in to the course (also getting the 2.1), so I would be hopefully doing the Masters next year. Hopefully by the time I'm 24, I'll start my career.

monkey DS is at a SEN camp, he has access to speech and language therapy and Occupational therapy at the camp. I was worried that I wouldn't have the time over the summer to work on his difficulties, so hopefully this camp would be help him with that. Ridiculously expensive though.

Thank you Natty, I had DS at 15, I did not slave my way through GCSE'S. A- Levels to give up. I need my education to support DS. Sad I can't give up. It's just so hard.

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icouldabeenacontender · 25/07/2016 17:05

Whatever you do don't give up this close to the finish line.
Your son will probably have a ball at Summer camp.
If your final project is being handed in 2 weeks from now, presumably that means you will still have holiday time with your son?
Can you take a break before starting your Masters? A long er period of downtime seems sensible before you throw yourself into another round of potential stress.

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wlv12 · 25/07/2016 17:06

I so remember this feeling! I did a very full on midwifery degree with a child who has SN (plus another neurotypical child). I felt terribly guilty and resentful that it was taking me away from them and that on nice days I'd be working and not enjoying the children and my life like I wanted too.
I completed my degree last year, it was so worth it. I've made our future better AND can now enjoy time with my boys guilt free when I'm not at work.
Keep going, you can do this.

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notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 17:08

Thank you everyone.

icloud, well I have about three weeks. But I need to get my design books finished to get it printed and binded for Monday!-- which takes about a week for the shop to bind. I then need to finish off two posters and a draft portfolio and I'm done. (sigh)

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TheFlyingFauxPas · 25/07/2016 17:08

Hang on in there love. Long term gain for you and your ds. You can do it. You will regret it forever. (speaking as someone who quit on day 2!)

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notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 17:14

Brenda it's funny you should say that; maybe it is my perfection. Though it could be heightened by the fact that I need a 2.1 in my degree to get into the Masters as they won't admit you into the course.

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greenfolder · 25/07/2016 17:19

Do not quit. It is just around the corner. I slogged my way through 4 years part time MBA with 2 kids. I nearly quit twice. So glad I didnt. The extension is hard because it's summer . But you are made of stern stuff. Just to get to this point that has to be true. When you have submitted you can come back and tell us. Keep going.

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abigwideworld · 25/07/2016 17:20

You sound like you are doing fantastically! Don't give up now :)

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Damselindestress · 25/07/2016 17:21

You are so close and you've worked so hard. You can do it! You are setting your DS a good example by doing your degree.

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positivity123 · 25/07/2016 17:42

Keep going!!! You are doing an amazing thing and it sounds so tough but you are a hero for doing it.
Say to yourself 'I can do this' three times every time you doubt yourself.
Also you are a wonderful mum to your child

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notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 17:52

Thank you all for your comments; I really appreciate it.

It's so hard, so hard, but I'm determined to carry on.

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FreedomIsInPeril · 25/07/2016 17:54

I should be out there enjoying my summer, taking DS to a multiple of fun places, not stuck at home and working on projects

Why should you? You're a grown up, you know that you need to work hard to get ahead and provide for your family. Real life isn't about going to fun places all the time.

I've done it, it's not easy. But its what you do.

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wizzywig · 25/07/2016 17:55

Im in my last year op of a 3yr masters and realised my course has 'ruined' the last 3 summer hols. But im so close to finishing. Dont give up!!

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Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 25/07/2016 17:58

If you don't carry on, all that time and effort you have put in already, would be for what? You're nearly at the end, you can do this, good luck. Hope you update when you get your results!!

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LadyClegane · 25/07/2016 17:58

Obviously you know you've got to keep going. It is very hard but you are sooo close. Keep going x

And you may well find they accept you onto your Masters without a 2:1. I've just been accepted onto an MA in History and my BA was only a 2:2. (The course spiel states a 2:1 but obviously there is room for negotiation)

Good luck!

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notgivingin789 · 25/07/2016 18:05

LadyClegane I hope so, but I doubt it, on the open day a girl asked the same exact questions, the tutor said " In no circumstances would they accept anyone with a 2.2 and below, you have to get a 2.1 or above". I guess because its an MSC and a sciency/academic course.

wizzy I think I feel like this because every since I had DS at 15; I've just been studying, studying. I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy DS; I was always in school.

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SheHasAWildHeart · 25/07/2016 19:25

Access as much support as you can from your university. The university I work at has so many advisors and support staff and departments who really will go over and beyond to support you - make as much use of them as you can, even if it's just to have a chat with!

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Aeroflotgirl · 25/07/2016 19:34

Don't you will really regret it, you are so close now.

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