DH and I have been together 4 years and married one. 7 weeks ago I gave birth to our first DS. Since then I feel his parents have been a bit unreasonable. At no point have they offered to help out in any way, but keep turning up with very little notice at the most inconvenient times (ie when we have other visitors who have travelled 2 hours to come and meet the baby, when DH is out, or between 5.30-8.30pm when I'm trying to sort tea out in between cluster-feeding DS). I don't know why DH can't just say on the phone 'sorry now isn't a good time but you could come over [at convenient time]', but he says he would feel too bad. This week his Gran has been admitted to hospital with a serious infection, she's now back home but still on antibiotics and DH said we'd visit to cheer her up. I pointed out that taking a tiny baby to see someone potentially contagious isn't a good idea and he got really upset with me. I'm sure she would have understood but rather than explain that we would bring DS when she was feeling better, DH made up some story that I'd forgotten about a group I'd signed DS up to so we couldn't come, which makes me sound disorganised and uncaring, which I'm not. I get on great with his family and they're lovely people, I just don't understand why DH feels like he has to walk on eggshells with them instead of being honest. All this stresses me out and I feel under pressure to keep the house tidy all the time as I never know when they'll drop in, which is hard when I'm so sleep-deprived (DS wakes to feed 4 times a night). Am I being unreasonable wishing DH could just be more frank with them?
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