I probably am aren't I..

(74 Posts)
WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 12:49:44

But I've been coming on the same family holiday since I was born. We're close knit, there's just my gran, mum, aunt, uncle, me and usually my brother and cousin come but haven't this year. My mum's cousin rocked up yesterday with his friend and now there's two strange middle aged men here and it's just making me feel so uncomfortable. I can't wander around braless or in my tiny pj shorts. I'm having to make fucking small talk and they're asking me about my job, career etc. I just wanted a week of chilling out and not have to think about work or make the effort with anything and I feel it's all ruined now angry. My Gran is acting like the fucking queen is here and flapping about all the meals and thinks she has to make loads of effort. AIBU? I just don't want them here!! As I type this my aunty is arranging days out to take them on because she feels like they need to be 'entertained'.. It's ridiculous!

Ps before I get flamed for being a bitch to them I'm not, I'm being charming and making small talk as is expected but inside I'm raging!

Wonderous Mon 25-Jul-16 12:54:15

I think ridiculously entitled is more apt than calling you a bitch. Your cousin is family too - get over yourself.

toadgirl Mon 25-Jul-16 12:58:27

Your mum's cousin is also family. You just don't know them yet. Make an effort and your close-knit family will have another member. You may end up really liking them.

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 12:58:29

Wonderous I've never met him before though! And I don't know why his friend is here. Anyway, I said in my title I probably was, so will continue to be ridiculously entitled and just get on with it..

TheHiphopopotamus Mon 25-Jul-16 12:59:22

I don't think YABU. You've gone on holiday with a certain expectations and now the dynamic has changed. Plus, it can't be much of a holiday for your Gran if she's cooking for them all the time.

Who invited them, by the way?

toadgirl Mon 25-Jul-16 12:59:52

They also sound like they are interested in getting to know you by their questions.

Don't get too set in your ways at your young age - even your Gran seems to be able to handle something new smile

CalleighDoodle Mon 25-Jul-16 13:00:29

maybe the friend is his partner?

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Mon 25-Jul-16 13:01:12

YANBU. It's annoying when people change the plan last minute. I wouldn't want to have to make an effort in my relaxing time either.

PickleSarnie Mon 25-Jul-16 13:01:51

I don't think YABU tbh. Your holiday dynamic has changed and it doesn't sound like anyone consulted you whether it was okay. Surely it's everyone's holiday and everyone gets a say? Although I'm an anti social sod so not sure I'm the best to comment!

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:02:39

That's it Hiphop the dynamic has changed.

Calleigh no friend is his dentist actually confused. He has a wife and kids and home, who I've never met. Which proves we're not close at all, it's never been suggested we go down there or they come up here for a meet up etc.

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:04:00

Pickle I'm antisocial too! I'm introverted and brought loads of books that I wanted to read and now I feel like I have to entertain guests. No I wasn't consulted, just informed!

Amelie10 Mon 25-Jul-16 13:04:48

Maybe everyone is excited to have these people join in because it's something new and doing the same thing year in year out gets boring. A change to the dynamic sounds like what everyone else needed by their reaction.

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:08:45

But I like doing the same thing every year, this is the one week a year I get to do absolutely fuck all sad

MaisieDotes Mon 25-Jul-16 13:12:23

If you didn't have a say in who is on holiday does that mean you're there as a guest of your mum or your nan?

If so, you can't really complain. If you've paid an equal share to everyone else then I think you should have been consulted as to who would be coming.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Mon 25-Jul-16 13:15:54

I can understand being thrown. Who invites their dentist on vacation? confused

But I wouldn't change anything you do normally. It's your holiday!

Brightnorthernlights Mon 25-Jul-16 13:20:47

How come you didn't know they were invited, surely it was planned so they had somewhere to sleep?

(I sort of know what you mean...it sounds like you wanted to just relax and it does change the dynamic).

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 25-Jul-16 13:21:25

YANBU

I'd be pissed off too. You should have been asked or told (depending on finances/set up) before you booked/confirmed you'd be there, so you could either choose not to go or have your say.

It's not on to invite randoms into a situation like that - they might be your mothers cousins but as you've never met them and your Gran clearly isn't close to them either, they are pretty much randoms.

I feel for you.

However, you didn't invite them, so don't feel you have to go out of your way to 'host' them. Be polite but beyond that just get on with your own stuff.

Ggrrrrrrr for you

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:22:38

No I'm not a guest, I've paid my way and contributed to food and cooked/ washed up. I turned to late because of work and then it was announced! And it's a big house with multiple rooms, I think because my brother/ cousin usually come it was assumed they'd sleep where they slept.

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:25:45

Thank you ExtraHot, that's just how I feel!!!

MaisieDotes Mon 25-Jul-16 13:27:08

That's a bit crap then, yes.

I hope they go out a lot and you get your relaxation time.

trafalgargal Mon 25-Jul-16 13:27:52

Dentists are people too
So usually one cousin comes but didn't want to come this year so another cousin has come instead?

I suppose you can ruin your holiday simmering with resentment or be happy that your Nan and Mum are so pleased to see him and get involved helping them with cooking and arranging days out......and who knows you might enjoy yourself.

Your holiday didn't turnout how you expected....that happens to a lot of people for all sorts of reasons. I'd either pack up and go home before you spoil it for everyone else or get into the holiday mood with everyone else

RandomMess Mon 25-Jul-16 13:28:39

I would just get on with chilling, forget hosting them!

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:31:27

Dentists are people too

I'm so glad you said that, I had no idea!!

But no would you invite yours to go on holiday with your cousin? Sorry I'm actually pissing myself at that hahaha

NavyandWhite Mon 25-Jul-16 13:31:42

How old are you? You sound about 14.

YABU.

WasabiNell Mon 25-Jul-16 13:32:15

And no, the cousin that usually comes is my aunt's son. Who I've grown up with. Who comes every year.

The cousin that has come is my
Gran's sisters son, who I've never met. Who has never come before.

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