Date offended me.

(111 Posts)
MySordidCakeSecret Mon 25-Jul-16 08:10:42

Bit of backstory: I've lost a huge amount of weight in the last year and a bit, over 4 stone since having my second child.

Fast forward to yesterday, i'm on the 5th date with this guy i like a lot. We were by a lake looking at the fish and talking about fishing. He said that the largest (some type of fish) caught was 110pound, about the same weight as me he said. This is how the conversation followed.

"wow. You know my weight?"
He did a visual appraisal/looked me up and down.
"Yeah I'd say you were about 110, 10-10 1/2 stone."
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
"11? 11 1/2?! he continues.
"Try 9 stone." I said, actually just dropped below the past 2 mornings.
"Really? You must be light boned." He looks genuinely shocked.
"That's what the scales say, unless they're dodgy."
He genuinely made a noise of agreement?!

I'm quite upset really.. i was feeling really low in confidence and self conscious yesterday anyway. I know he probably just suffers from foot in mouth syndrome but i can't help feeling sad about his comments.

JuniorMint Mon 25-Jul-16 08:15:31

Isn't 110lbs around 7 and a half stone? Could this be a mix up with conversions?!

fastdaytears Mon 25-Jul-16 08:17:06

Men are crap at guessing weight. I really wouldn't even think about it if you like him.

Presumably he likes the way you look so what does your actual weight have to do with it?

bumbleymummy Mon 25-Jul-16 08:17:14

110 lbs is under 8 stone confused Mayve he's not good with converting lbs to stone?

Crunchymum Mon 25-Jul-16 08:17:39

Well he is shit at maths isn't he? How the hell does 110lbs work out as 11.5st????

Sounds like he wasn't meaning to be offensive as such.

Well done on your weightloss.

Ragwort Mon 25-Jul-16 08:17:42

I think you are probably over thinking his comments - if you have lost a lot of weight (and very well done for that smile) then you are much more 'conscious' about exactly what you weigh, you say yourself that you weigh yourself every morning.

I would try and steer the conversation to different topics - most people haven't really got a clue what other people weigh. I go to a diet club and am amazed at the differences in weight between people who often look roughly the same.

Again, well done for losing the weight.

TheNaze73 Mon 25-Jul-16 08:17:58

I think your sums are wrong here. I wouldn't be offended. Are you looking for issues that aren't really there?

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Mon 25-Jul-16 08:18:12

Pp is right 110lb is 7 and a half stone. I think that it's just been a mix up by both of you. Maybe in future don't talk about weight, someone will always get offended.

branofthemist Mon 25-Jul-16 08:18:27

What a bizarre conversation.

Mainly because 10 1/2 stone isn't 110 lb. it's 152lb. 110lb is about 7 1/2 stone.

So he is an idiot as well as putting his foot in his mouth.

I can understand you being upset. Seeing him again would really depend on how he is the rest of the time.

But honestly you need to learn to not get so upset about your weight. Do add so much importance to what other people think of you and your weight. Easier said than done, I know having struggles with this myself. But it's worth it in the long run.

Your self worth should I be attached to what the scales says, or what other people think of your weight. Hope you feel better soon.

Joolsy Mon 25-Jul-16 08:18:53

Did he look serious when he said it? As if he was trying to be funny YABU. My OH does this all the time. I usually just ignore as I know I'm slim. But you should take it as a (sort of) compliment if he thinks you're 7½ stone which is what 110lbs is!

Crunchymum Mon 25-Jul-16 08:19:27

Although sounds as though he isn't the only one who isn't great at maths. 110lbs is 7st 8lbs.

ImperialBlether Mon 25-Jul-16 08:19:39

Oh I couldn't be with a man who mentally weighs women AND is rubbish at maths.

acasualobserver Mon 25-Jul-16 08:20:05

Are you mad? Take the 110!

Trills Mon 25-Jul-16 08:20:19

Most people are shit at guessing weights.

Also it sounds like he thinks there are 10 pounds in a stone.

AuroraBora Mon 25-Jul-16 08:20:39

Any other red flags? IME men who think they know enough to talk about women's weights like this are arseholes.

Eg, guy at uni:
"I wouldn't date a women larger than a size 6 because they'd be fat."
Me: "so what size am I then?"
"A 4?"
Me: "no, you idiot, I'm a 10-12"

He couldn't get a girlfriend, odd that!! grin

OnionKnight Mon 25-Jul-16 08:21:42

He's crap at maths, mind you I'm crap at guessing weight too.

monkeywithacowface Mon 25-Jul-16 08:21:58

Sounds like the muppet doesn't realise how many pounds are in a stone.

bumbleymummy Mon 25-Jul-16 08:22:30

It's 7stone 12 lbs. (7.857 stone) So just under 8 really.

honeylulu Mon 25-Jul-16 08:23:40

His maths is shit. 110 lbs is tiny. If only he'd shut his gob at that point.
Men are are often tactless about weight in this way. When I was first dating my husband he asked what I weighed and when I told him (honest answer) he said "hmmm I would have said you were at at half a stone heavier than that". He had no idea at all he had been offensive. In his mind he was just thinking aloud.
He's better at keeping his trap shut these days!

WeAreTheOthers Mon 25-Jul-16 08:24:34

10st is 140lb. 110lb is 8st12lb.
As for the rest, don't be too upset. He probably made a mix up and weight is very hard to guess by figure alone. It was a mistake, don't worry about it.

MySordidCakeSecret Mon 25-Jul-16 08:24:37

You're right yes it is wrong.. I was so caught up in the comments i didn't realise! Yes i was shocked that he was trying to appraise my weight! Who does that? Thank you for the congratulations. I will have to try and let it go.. not really any other red flags apart from that he keeps an axe in his car.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Mon 25-Jul-16 08:25:12

The glaring big red flag is that he's a fishing bore.

Forget the rest of it. Dump him and move on! grin

MySordidCakeSecret Mon 25-Jul-16 08:25:13

He wasn't saying it in a joking way no, the light bones comment was said with total sincerity!

Trills Mon 25-Jul-16 08:25:56

Nobody ever has a good time if they ask someone to guess their weight or their age.

Especially if they are already sensitive about it.

This fish was 110lb.
Wow, nearly as much as me.

I lifted 60 kg at the gym today.
Great, you can carry me home then.

That'll do. No guessing. No expecting people to know what 10 stone looks like. 10 stone looks very different on different people.

(this also applies to bra sizes)

DoubleCarrick Mon 25-Jul-16 08:27:31

What size are you op? When I'm 10 1/2 stone I tend to be a size ten. When I started dating dh he was shocked at how heavy I was! You can't tell someone's weight from looking at then

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