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AIBU?

To think 17 and 43 is wrong?

440 replies

Beyinbonnet · 23/07/2016 10:37

So a relation has started seeing a 17 year old (16 when started) they are now engaged, living together and she's pregnant!!! AIBU to think this is wrong?! All in the space of 7 month?!

I'm sorry but this just unsettles me!! I know it's not really my business but it's really got to me! Fair enough be seeing each other but FML!!!

OP posts:
SouperSal · 23/07/2016 10:44

Nothing illegal there, so it's not really any of your business.

witsender · 23/07/2016 10:46

Nothing illegal, but yanbu. It would throw me too.

OneEpisode · 23/07/2016 10:46

It's legal in the UK.

Rubberduck2 · 23/07/2016 10:47

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ailith · 23/07/2016 10:47

It's a bit odd - not exactly illegal but not exactly usual either.

OohMavis · 23/07/2016 10:48

Well it's perfectly legal, but I would question what the 43 year old was thinking, to be honest.

MrsDoylesTeaParty · 23/07/2016 10:48

It's gross. Sounds like he's very immature for his age..

OohMavis · 23/07/2016 10:49

Also what the 16-17 year old's parents are thinking... Aren't most people that age still in full-time education and living at home?

SockQueen · 23/07/2016 10:49

It's not illegal, but it's VERY odd. I can't imagine there's a very even power balance in the relationship. And she probably thinks she's "really mature" - most 17 year olds do - but even so I can't imagine what they'd have in common.

SouperSal · 23/07/2016 10:50

At 17 I was living with an older man. At 19 my boyf was twice my age. No issue. There's a biological benefit to this kind of age gap.

2rebecca · 23/07/2016 10:51

I wouldn't be happy if the 17 year old was a relation as the power balance is unlikely to be equal there and 17 year olds are much more easily manipulated than 43 year olds.
I'd wonder what she was escaping from leaving home and getting pregnant that young.
Not much you can do now she's pregnant and living with him though.

LagunaBubbles · 23/07/2016 10:52

What's her parents got to do with Mavis? OP doesn't say if they approve or not - at 17 they are an adult, I doubt her parents would be able to stop her even if they disapproved!

OneEpisode · 23/07/2016 10:54

SouperSal, what's the biological benefit?

OohMavis · 23/07/2016 10:54

Oh just me who assumed the 43 year old was the female, then? Probably more likely the other way round though, granted.

The power balance is what I would worry about too.

What biological benefit would that be Sal?

OohMavis · 23/07/2016 10:55

No I know, nothing they could do, obviously. I'd just wonder how they'd be feeling.

UnfitMotherr · 23/07/2016 10:56

Not that it should make a difference but is the 43 year old the man or the woman?

MrsDeVere · 23/07/2016 10:59

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MrsDeVere · 23/07/2016 11:00

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Ragwort · 23/07/2016 11:03

at 17 they are an adult - I thought 18 is the 'legal' age for an adult? Confused.

I would be horrified if I was the parent - to either of the two involved.

It may not be illegal but it is highly inappropriate.

FuckJeffGoldblumMan · 23/07/2016 11:04

Another pregnant 17 year old

Something in the water obviously lately Grin

SouperSal · 23/07/2016 11:04

Females look for steady and dependable men (often more experienced) to have children with (as in evolutionary terms their children will have better chances in life). Men look for women with good eggs, which generally means younger. Hence the stereotype of women being left for younger models.

SouperSal · 23/07/2016 11:06

Also at 16 you can legally have sex (so babies may follow), marry (with parental consent) and fight for your country. Sounds pretty adult to me.

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OneEpisode · 23/07/2016 11:06

In the us, if one is under 18, the older partner has to be within a certain number of years different, varies by state, 2-4 years older I think?

Beyinbonnet · 23/07/2016 11:06

Older of the 2 is a bloke! When they first told me I was tipsy and was like oh well it's legal! But the more time goes on the more I just think it's disgusting! Both sets of parents are ok with the relationship and engagement! Don't know what the view of the pregnancy is?! I just can't bring myself to congratulate them on either getting engaged or becoming pregnant! It's a fucking joke in my eyes she's still a kid herself! id go bat shit crazy if my son or daughter walked in with a "kid" as a partner!!

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 23/07/2016 11:07

Exactly MrsDV.

No right thinking man would be interested in a proper, genuine relationship with a barely 17 year old.

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