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AIBU?

Neighbour kids swearing

17 replies

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 19:50

Fully prepared to be told AIBU and slated for this.

We have new neighbours. Family seems nice enough and they told us straight out that they were noisy - no issues there, DD has epic tantrums nearly every day.

Their kids have been playing in the garden in the hot weather and it's been fine, except for their swearing. I'm not naiive or previous about swearing - I love a good swear myself and have slipped up a few times in front of DD by accident. I'm not keen on kids swearing but I know that some do. DP is the same as me - we try to avoid DD hearing it but know it's not always possible to shield her from it in the real world.
The things these kids have been coming out though... To be honest they're making me feel sick.
Calling each other cunts, twats, dickheads, screaming "fuck off" over and over for a few minutes at a time... It's getting to the point where I don't really want DD to play in the garden in case she starts coming out with it herself.
As I said, I'm not that precious about it but I do wonder if I should say something maybe? Or should I just butt out for the sake of neighbourly relations and just explain to DD that they aren't nice words if she does repeat them?

OP posts:

Report

dodobookends · 21/07/2016 19:51

How old are they?

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 19:52

About 7-10

OP posts:

EsmeraldaEllaBella · 21/07/2016 19:52

You could try talking to the family again?

buffalogrumble · 21/07/2016 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatatado · 21/07/2016 19:57

It would really upset me. I would have a polite chat with the parents.

JapaneseSlipper · 21/07/2016 19:59

Ugh, not sure what you can do about it (sounds like the neighbours are the "take us as you find us" type). But that would make me feel sick too. Can totally understand why you would want to shield your daughter from it.

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 21/07/2016 20:00

How old is your dd?

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 20:00

Tbh I think that if we did speak to them it wouldn't be a particularly pleasant conversation and I want to avoid that if we can.
DD is also having her fourth day of tantrums with the last three nights involving screaming up to 10pm so I'm well aware we aren't the greatest neighbours at the moment.

OP posts:

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 20:01

DD is 4

OP posts:

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 20:03

I really don't mind the odd bit of swearing as I know it's a right of passage and can't really be avoided, but it is getting a bit much. Screaming "cuntflaps" over and over a couple of feet away from my 4 year old isn't pleasant to witness.

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APlaceOnTheCouch · 21/07/2016 20:05

I don't think there is anything you can say tbh. They obviously know their DCs swear and they don't have an issue with it. I doubt they'd change their stance to placate their neighbours.
It would be different if the DCs were playing in your house. Then it would be fine to say we don't use those words in this house.

99percentchocolate · 21/07/2016 20:07

That's what I thought to be honest. Their DM is usually right there when they're saying it so I don't think talking would go down well.

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Onesieisthequeensselfie · 21/07/2016 20:08

What a difficult situation OP. Feel for you.

If the parents really are nice, as was your initial impression, you could have a friendly word with them. Nothing too heavy or judgey but just so that they are aware of how you feel. And take it from there.

Good luck.

Mutters79 · 21/07/2016 20:15

I think I would speak directly to the kids. We had a similar situation with kids from the neighbourhood (9 to 11 yo ish. About 4 of them) doing similarly outside DD (3.5 yo) bedroom window as she was settling down for the night. I just explained the situation as matter of factly as I could and asked them, therefore, to tone it down/go elsewhere. They did and were fine/have been fine ever since. Think it helped that I've always been friendly with them (other neighbours always move them on - personally I like living somewhere where kids can play on the street) and that I'm a secondary teacher so have no anxieties about their response. I think if you treat them with enough respect to speak to them directly, they will respond well.

Frankly however I'd be really unhappy about the language and the parents' allowing them to speak like that!!! You have my sympathy.

Shizzlestix · 21/07/2016 20:21

I'm gobsmacked to see one pp saying that this is a normal part of transitional behaviour. If my neighbour's kids were using that language, I would and have told them off. No way should I be hearing what was a 10 year old at the time telling his DS aged 7 to fuck off repeatedly. No way am I tolerating language like that shouted repeatedly.

If you can't have a conversation with the parents (maybe as part of a sorry about dd's tantrums), then tell the kids directly. Do it now before it becomes 'normal' and the parents ask why you're only bringing it up now.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 21/07/2016 20:42

I'd not let her play out or socialise with them either, children that young should certainly not be swearing.

JojoLapin · 21/07/2016 21:04

I'd simply speak to the children directly, in a friendly tone. Something like "Guys, we have some very young ears here, could you be careful?"

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