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AIBU?

Being over protective ?

15 replies

Onthedowns · 21/07/2016 17:54

Myself and DH are at a wedding tomo. 4 year old Dd and 5 month old DS are going to my parents. Dd is staying over Dm is happy to have DS but he has severe silent reflux cmpi., he currently sleeps on a sleepyhead on a wedge in the middle of our bed, after 3 months of hardly any sleep we are getting there. He can only go in travel cot in parents house in bedroom next door, but this is to wide and I am concerned he may slide of the wedge. He also tends to sleep down 2-3 times a night . If he's in another room I would be concerned. After night feeds we have to keep him upright for at least 30 mins! Mum is happy to do this but DH doesn't think she appreciates his condition and won't do it. I don't think she does either sometimes! Am I being unreasonable to come and collect him about 9-10pm. Dd is staying anyway. I am driving as I don't drink! I know my DM will be annoyed and think I am over reacting

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Gottagetmoving · 21/07/2016 18:01

I think you have to do what feels right to you.
Your ds may well be fine and your dm may do as you ask and cope well but it's no good if you are going to be worrying all night.
Your DM should understand if you are worried. DS is only five months old so it's perfectly understandable you will worry.
Go with your gut instinct.

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Phillipa12 · 21/07/2016 18:03

I have 4 dc and usually i would say your being a tad ott, but dc4 has silent reflux and cmpi and at 11 months is still in with me incase he throws up and chokes. I would annoy your mother and collect him, you are not overreacting, has she seen him in action, both my sisters and a friend who has 4 grown children and is Norland trained were astounded at the reflux and the potential choking hazard.

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bumsexatthebingo · 21/07/2016 18:07

I think it would probably be easier to collect them both. If you just collect your ds I they may be put out that you don't trust them with him.

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Onthedowns · 21/07/2016 18:30

Well I think Dd will be happy enough, but I do trust them I just can't find a safe sleeping option at the moment! I can wedge the travel cot up but he's never slept in it .

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Onthedowns · 21/07/2016 18:31

Also he was born at 35 weeks so really only 4 months! X

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bumsexatthebingo · 21/07/2016 18:47

Yes but if you just say you're not going to be late and aren't drinking so you can collect 9ish that is no judgement on your ils. If you just collect ds because of his condition and not thinking they will do what they have said then they are likely to get offended.

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Onthedowns · 21/07/2016 19:03

Well it's my DM not in laws I just think I will worry all night about him slipping down and also being in another room? I find it hard to dictate where he should be sleeping if they are doing me a favour

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Gottagetmoving · 21/07/2016 19:21

If you just collect ds because of his condition and not thinking they will do what they have said then they are likely to get offended

It doesn't matter if they are offended. They should understand because the baby is 5 months old and has sleeping problem due to reflux. Why should OP worry and be anxious just to stop them taking offence?

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bumsexatthebingo · 21/07/2016 19:27

Because there's an easy way of maintaining good relations that means she also doesn't have to worry?

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Onthedowns · 21/07/2016 19:36

I can't really worry about offending them I can't see a practical way of him sleeping otherwise it would be so bad!

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EsmeraldaEllaBella · 21/07/2016 19:50

Do whatever feels right.

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Gottagetmoving · 21/07/2016 20:32

Because there's an easy way of maintaining good relations that means she also doesn't have to worry

Collecting both children could offend them more
It's best to he honest surely?
OP can explain that she will be worried because the baby is so young and its not about their ability to cope but her own peace of mind.

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Onthedowns · 22/07/2016 02:54

He's now woken with a temperature! 😩

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junebirthdaygirl · 22/07/2016 07:41

Could you stay in your dms after the wedding so if he is asleep he can sleep on but if he wakes you are there. You must do what's right for your baby as he is so small. Don't make a big deal just say it.

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Onthedowns · 22/07/2016 09:11

Thanks due to him not being right I am going to pick him up now anyway! It's very hard when he is so unsettled still nice for the break but any slip of his routine meds his reflux is worse! I think DM and in laws don't really get it they don't see it in full pelt!