Emergency surgery for 3yo - work response

[CustardLover]

My DS had to have emergency surgery after chipping his elbow (I know!) and I was off work for two days - firstly A&E and then the op and an overnight stay. Work has now asked me whether I want to log it as unpaid parental leave or take my last two days of holiday. This feels pretty petty to me; I answered emails and took a call when DS was in surgery! AIBU to ask them to reconsider and categorise as compassionate leave? Those of you who are employers, WWYD?

[mouldycheesefan]

Hi, we don't give compassionate leave for things like this we would allow paid holiday if you have enough or unpaid emergency leave. If you worked enough to make up a half day you could say you worked a half day and will take 1.5 days Ho,I day or unpaid leave. But a few emails and a phone call may not add up to that. They are being flexible as normally holiday should be booked in advance and they are allowing it at short notice. Compassionate leave is for deaths where I work.
I think their response is perfectly reasonable.

[titchy]

Those circumstances are EXACTLY what unpaid parental leave is for, so yes YABU expecting to be able to be paid for them. as the pp said, suggest that they pay you for half a day, assuming you were genuinely able to do 3 or 4 hours work over those two days, and take the rest as holiday or unpaid.

[NicknameUsed]

Sorry, but it is unrealistic to expect paid leave for this. It isn't usual to get paid leave for anything other than holiday or compassionate leave for a bereavement, and that is for close family members only.

You are entitled to unpaid parental leave if you have children under the age of 6.

[Nobrain]

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

Pay
Your employer may pay you for time off to look after dependants but they don’t have to. Check your contract, company handbook or intranet site to see if there are rules about this.

[NicknameUsed]

I hope your son makes a speedy recovery BTW.

If companies gave paid leave to parents for these reasons they would never employ women with children.

[DementedUnicorn]

What do you think parental leave is for?

[facepalming]

Sounds like they are being reasonable to let you use your holiday rather than just take it as parental leave tbh.

If you know they have acted differently with others then that's a different story but it seems they are being very fair.

[Bumply]

I once got ds2 hospital stay (asthma) as compassionate leave due to a friendly manager, but every other time it's been the choices you've been offered.

[niceguy2]

I can see both sides. Companies don't have to since you didn't actually work which whilst totally understandable, it isn't the fault or responsibility of your company.

Thankfully every company I've worked for would have just paid for a couple of days.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

DH's employer allows the use of sick days for members as well as for self - he has 5 a year.

Beyond that, he gets his 10 days of holidays annually, but that is it.

You are fortunate your employer is offering you the opportunity to use holiday - because this should fall under parental leave.

Compassionate leave is for death.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

*family members.

[Iggi999]

My work would pay me. Perhaps they want goodwill rather than making an already stressful time more stressful. A couple of days could easily be ignored.

[mouldycheesefan]

How does it work with ssp if people are allowe sick days for illness of family memebers?

[FuriousFate]

I think it depends. If you regularly work at home/on the train on the way to work and so on, catch up on emails 24/7 etc then I think they should cut you some slack as you'll have more than covered the equivalent of a couple of days' work in the last month. If it is very hours driven, i.e. strictly 9-5, then they don't owe you anything.

[thisisafakename]

This is not a compassionate leave situation. That would be if you had suffered a bereavement in the immediate family. Or, according to some employers, if your neighbour has looked at your kid strangely and said he has feelings for him (sorry I could not resist).

[noramum]

I am glad I work for my employer.

They do compassionate leave for all employees, 2 days paid, it can be used for various reasons which are beyond your control.

We in my 4 member team had in the last 18 months:

• emergency surgery of an 18 year old son
  
• parental death
  
• being "babysitter" after out-patient surgery of a partner
  
• child being off sick - first day
  
• elderly parents were burgled so employee had to help sorting out police and insurance
  

On top we get an extra day for moving and chidlbirth (well, for the dad as the mum is already on maternity leave).
All this is paid. I think a good employer shows compassion that things in life happen.

In some cases my employer even paid sick pay voluntarily longer. All this means people stay and knowledge is kept.

Yes, you have parental leave and it is used if there is a longer problem.

[NicknameUsed]

Stopped are you not in the UK? 10 days annual leave seems rather stingy.

[Fourarmsv2]

It would be paid where I work. But it's give and take and I work as many hours at home as I do at work.

[KathyBeale]

One of my colleagues recently lost her mum. She was ill for a while before she died and my colleague did what she could from the hospice and made sure we were all up to date with what she could do and what she couldn't. When her mum died, she had a couple of weeks off, then a phased return to work. I'm her line manager and in discussion with my manager, we decided to let her manage her work without going through HR because she's a valued employee and HR would have given her two weeks compassionate leave and that's it.

I very firmly feel that being a manager is all about knowing when to get the rule book out and follow it to the letter, and when to be more flexible. If you were on my team, I'd have let you 'have' those days probably because there will be occasions when I'd ask you to go above and beyond. It's got to work both ways.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

My employer offers 5 days paid leave for looking after sick children/sorting out unexpected breakdowns in arranged childcare etc. But that's their own policy, not a legal requirement.

[peggyundercrackers]

we get paid for this kind of leave especially if we are taking calls and answering emails.

If your work are going to force you to take holidays or unpaid leave when you need emergency leave for a sick child switch your phone off and don't answer emails - your work need to know that these issues can work both ways and you wont let them take the piss.

[frenchielala]

Hope your DS makes a speedy recovery.

Do you do exactly your contracted hours or are you flexible when things need doing? I can bet from what you saying about emails and phone calls that you often give them your time to "get the job done", as many people do.

I hate it when companies are so tight like this. If they expect flexibility from you, I think it is awful when they don't give it back. I hope you are able to get them to reconsider.

[Bottomchops]

Parental leave is not for this purpose. PL is planned leave taken in week blocks with 21 days notice given. My employer would have given you this as emergency leave most probably. Check your conetract.