AIBU to get so upset my 7yo hates reading?

(52 Posts)
starwarsismyreligon Thu 21-Jul-16 00:38:59

Help! My 7yo daughter is having a really hard time reading. She has just finished year 3 at school (she just turned 7, very young for year)
I have tried all the ticks, to get her interested. Took her to library to choose own books, bought comics, she is quite tomboyish and loves horrid Henry but really struggles with the early readers, and just wants me to read them to her!
She has no interest and it really stresses me out, it's such a fundamental skill that she seems to be missing. I know in my hear it comes with practice but she won't read for me and I really don't want her to be put off by what she sees forcing her as a punishment!
AIBU to be freaking out that she is falling behind!

hazeimcgee Thu 21-Jul-16 00:43:26

Firstly if she wants you to read to her, she'scat least showong interest and will pick it up. Do it so she can see the book and what you're reading

Kids do stuff in their own time so if you can relax and enjoy book time with her without pressure on her to perform, she may just pick it up herself

Have you spoken to the school if she's falling behind?

bumsexatthebingo Thu 21-Jul-16 00:45:48

Will she read books to you with less text? If she will I would listen to her read those for practice even if they're below the level she can read at. Also if she likes you reading to her maybe take it in turns to read a page each? Or even you read 2 and she reads 1.
Reading to her and talking about what you're reading will be helping her as well but I would insist on her reading a few pages to you each day. She will get better with practice and then it will seem less of a chore.

conkerpods Thu 21-Jul-16 00:46:13

Does she like talking books?
My DD (just finished year 3) is a good reader buy never reads a book from cover to cover. I think she's just not a bookworm and loses interest.

VioletBam Thu 21-Jul-16 01:41:00

I have the same but my DD is 8 now. She has improved over this last year...I think mainly because we moved house and country and she attends an Australian school where they just don't put the same pressure on them....and also because I stopped asking her to read to me but I upped the amount I read to her.

She adores a good story but reading just wasn't clicking. Her teacher in England said that she had no suspicions DD was dyslexic or anything just that she was a "slow starter".

Now, after a year of allowing her to not worry about it but continuing to read to her nightly, she's begun to be more fluent.

When she goes to bed I give her a lot of books and she reads to herself. I began by saying
Just look at the pictures.

But over the past 5 months or so she's begun calling through to check she's got a word right.

Don't freak out. Foster a love of books by buying or borrowing great stories and reading them to her so she will eventually want to read them.

Enid Blyton hooked my DD.

starwarsismyreligon Thu 21-Jul-16 06:51:51

Thanks all
I know i need to chill a bit but the fact it's such a battle is worrying
I loved Enid blyton myself, are we taking famous 5 or is there another series?
Any other books anyone could recommend, and I will hit Amazon (yet again!)

justilou Thu 21-Jul-16 06:54:15

My kids HATED the bloody staged reading that their school started them with... (Bloody Floppy the Dog) They were so inane, I don't blame them. We did audiobooks in the car (from library) and they loved listening to Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. I honestly think they found the school's readers patronising. They started reading Enid Blyton's Faraway Tree series by themselves and quickly took off from there.

Pearlman Thu 21-Jul-16 06:57:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChipsCheeseandIrnBru Thu 21-Jul-16 07:03:20

You say she likes you reading to her. Well do that. Lots! It shows her that she can enjoy reading and it means she is seeing you model reading as an enjoyable pastime. When she senses there is no pressure, she can try reading to you. Worst thing to do is push and stress. She's still young. As long as she can read and knows the basics.

wigglesrock Thu 21-Jul-16 07:07:13

One of my dds (she's 8) would read all day every day - she loves to read, you couldn't keep her in books. My eldest dd is 11 - she's not that bothered - she can read, she does read if she likes the book (hello YouTuber "autobiographies") but she doesn't love it, she doesn't get the love of it. That's ok, she's smart, funny, compassionate, eager to learn, flying ahead in school. Is your dd falling behind in reading or is she just falling behind what you'd like her to be.

My kids hated Enid Blyton - far too removed from their every day life. They loved Worst Witch, David Baddiel books, David Walliams, Julian Clary, Neil Gaimans "Fortunately the Milk", younger Eoin Colfer books, stand alone Jacqueline Wilson books.

NattyTile Thu 21-Jul-16 07:12:11

Across the world, lots of children don't even start to learn until they are six or seven or even older. If she wants you to read to her, I'd find books you both enjoy and go for it.

No idea if it was officially the right way or not, but with my dd who struggled a lot, if she was reading to me, I would help her out with the difficult words all the time, rather than expecting her to pause and sound it out. So she'd read the little words, and I'd fill in the bigger ones, and that way the sentences stayed fluid, and we could keep the sense of the story rather than forgetting the start of the paragraph by the time we got to the end of it. Worked well for her; she learnt whole words rather than phonics so by the time I'd said a trick word a few times she'd absorb it into her vocabulary without getting frustrated by it. Meant we could read stories she enjoyed together rather than biff and chip and kipper too.

She's still a slow reader, but she does enjoy books. And I'm sure that the more books she encounters, the more she will learn to read.

Oh - and screen time helps. If she's on the iPad she can navigate her way around websites quite well; she spells out error messages to me and I tell her which button to click, and her fluency is improving all the time that way too.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Thu 21-Jul-16 07:22:11

Sounds obvious but have you had her eyesight tested? Also worth looking up visual stress to see if that rings any bells.

I have two dd, at the age of 7 neither of them liked reading. For one it suddenly clicked, just did very well in SATs, reads for hours every night and very fluent. For the other one she still struggles, going to test for dyslexia, needs all sorts of overlays etc. I guess at 7 it could still go either way so don't panic but don't be complacent either.

MrEBear Thu 21-Jul-16 07:26:26

What is she interested in?
Maybe get her reading nonfiction. I read to my preschooler a mix of picture books, and non fiction space, dinosaurs, animals and machines.

And I will encourage both fiction & nonfiction when he start reading too.

starwarsismyreligon Thu 21-Jul-16 11:06:01

Thanks all, some great advice
She has regular eye tests and wears glasses. I suppose I am stressing as I love to read myself, and did so from early age.
Her dad is dyslexic, and although in 40s not a great reader- successful though! I had suspicions but teachers say no, and she was at level 6 on Oxford reading tree at school- but she hates biff and bloody kipper! Don't blame her!!!
I might be putting too much pressure, but would love her to have that love of the written word- but maybe not just her thing??
Any suggestions on non fiction or comic series? She is mischievous and curious about world around her, not at all girlie, but loves those bloody you tube videos where annoying pre teens play starting every sentence with "hey you guys....."hmmshock

bumsexatthebingo Thu 21-Jul-16 11:13:04

If she's quite tomboyish she might enjoy something like Toxic magazine (though be warned there is a LOT of toilet humour in the comic strip part!). My dd likes Horrid Henry and also Diary of a Wimpy Kid and the Horrible History/Geography books. Diary of a Wimpy Kid is broken up with lots of drawings so not too intimidating to read.

DesignedForLife Thu 21-Jul-16 11:19:20

Is she ok with spelling and writing? I was diagnosed with dyslexia at that age and I really struggled with reading for a long time.

PrincessHairyMclary Thu 21-Jul-16 11:30:14

Try some book sets from the book people.

Read to her, and get books on CD from the library which she can follow along to. Phonological knowledge is acquired by the brain just as well by being read to as it is reading individually particularly if you trace the words.

I work in a high school and some of the reason the children tell me they don't like reading range from being dyslexic and it's too difficult to read and build the story up in their minds at the same time and because it's always been difficult they don't enjoy it, some (many) need coloured overlays even without being dyslexic to ease the white/black contrast. Some just haven't found books they enjoy yet. Some simply don't have the working memory to remember what happened last time so find shorter books more enjoyable.
Those who do enjoy reading always have a book on them and it has been a pleasurable experience for them so try not to make it too big a deal.

Whilst it's important to read and helps immensely with other areas of the curriculum, if you want her to take it up as a hobby it just might not happen, just as a child might not follow in their parents sporting/musical hobbies no matter how much they might want them too.

Dd and I often read stories and then watch the relevant films which helps bring it to life for her especially if she doesn't have the knowledge of the era it's set. Or we Google where the stories based etc.

redskytonight Thu 21-Jul-16 11:35:31

If she wants you to read to her then read to her!! That will give her a love of books.

I always say this on these sorts of threads, but the one thing that really helped my DS like reading to take the pressure him. School reading can become a chore and it's hard work while you are learning! If DS wanted to read the back of cereal boxes or "babyish" picture books that was fine. The main thing was to read "something"

Mov1ngOn Thu 21-Jul-16 11:39:38

Mine loved the Tom gates books.stories but the text is more interesting with pictures.

Comics?

But yes if she's young for her year think a out what the year below would be doing and don't panic!

Seryph Thu 21-Jul-16 12:29:57

Hang on, so she was 6 until recently, in yr3? Meaning she started Reception at age 3? How has that happened, and why is she in the wrong year?

If she's struggling I would take a step back, keep reading to her every night but don't push her reading, let her help you with your nightly reading if she wants to, and see if she'll do things like read road signs and shopping lists for you.

Mov1ngOn Thu 21-Jul-16 12:33:19

Oh yeah good point. They're still turning 7 in year 2 so why is she in the wrong year??

CharlotteCollins Thu 21-Jul-16 12:37:13

YANBU, but she is young yet. And putting any pressure on her will backfire.

Think of it this way: she likes books.

Over the summer, don't make her read at all, but read to her as often as she wants to listen.

Listening to someone read and enjoying books together: two great ways to learn to read.

MachiKoro Thu 21-Jul-16 12:37:39

Does she like star wars too? There are the DJ early readers of star wars books. Also the star wars comics (in supermarkets) are good- t he y have a simple story each month, puzzles, facts etc.

CeciliaMiddleton Mon 25-Jul-16 15:35:56

Definitely don't freak out. Unless she's heavily dyslexic, she's going to learn to read fluently some point and if she loves stories then she'll eventually discover the joy of books. Just keep reading to her as long as she wants to listen is good advice. I didn't learn to love books until my mother read Rebecca to me when I was about 10 and now I have a career in publishing. Ronald Dahl is always a classic (and not overly girly at all) and this is a quite a good list of the best books out this summer that might be worth trying: www.culturewhisper.com/r/article/the_best_new_childrens_books_reviews/7421

MermaidofZennor Mon 25-Jul-16 15:36:56

On the school year numbers, one school we looked at for DD called their Reception year Year 1, so that would mean it would be Year 3 for a 7 year old.

And I had, until recently, a reluctant reader with DD. She learned to read quickly without any difficulties but then lost interest in books. She is 10 now and has only recently, very tentatively, started to be interested in books again. DS, on the other hand, loves books but is struggling with reading and needs lots of help.

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