wedding dilemma

(29 Posts)
Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:33:21

Hubby is a groomsman at a wedding about 2 hours away from home, both he and i have been invited, DS (2) has not so we can't go. AIBU to suggest hubby goes to wedding and DS and I go and stay at the hotel and then we make a weekend of it. I will also be 6 months pregnant

seven201 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:35:13

Sounds fun- do it!

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Jul-16 17:36:10

Well pros are obvious but what are the cons?

I mean, why are you asking.

Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:37:48

The whole hotel seems to be taken over by the adults only wedding so do I still annoy the bride & groom by staying there but not attending

Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:38:33

There was a whole letter regarding the no children policy hmm

TheCrumpettyTree Wed 20-Jul-16 17:39:49

Is there any reason you can't get childcare for ds?

2nds Wed 20-Jul-16 17:41:36

Go and make a weekend of it with your son, the bride doesn't get to say who can stay in a hotel.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Jul-16 17:42:15

Why would you annoy the bride and groom?

They don't want kids at their wedding. I'm quite sure they wouldn't notice or care if they're in the hotel.

Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:42:57

Grandparents would have to fly in to babysit snd we've never left him overnight before - my mother 'doesn't do' overnight babysitting but doesn't mind a few hours in the evening.
Lo screamed his head off on fil when I dated to go for a shower a few months back.
Friends all have young children so not fair to ask them and I wouldn't trust my siblings who also live overseas

ailith Wed 20-Jul-16 17:43:17

You have every right to be at the hotel although, given the circumstances, it might make the couple feel a bit awkward...
Re. the adults only wedding, that's perfectly fair. It's their day and they don't want any squealing, attention-seeking children to ruin it.

Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:44:48

Sorry for the drip feeding

hilbil21 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:46:09

I would do what you're doing!

What was in the letter? We aren't having kids at wedding and I only put one sentence lol

OvariesBeforeBrovaries Wed 20-Jul-16 17:46:57

YANBU. If the bride and groom kick up a fuss about it, that tells you all you need to know about them as people.

Cosmo111 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:49:26

Depends have they exclusive use of the hotel if so then I think YABU especially if you do choose to come down to where the wedding is and have DS can make the Bride and Groom really uncomfortable. We had a child free wedding we were paying ourselves and couldn't afford to add the extra children minus our own two. There was no young DC in our family.

Ilovetea82 Wed 20-Jul-16 17:55:23

It was a long justification about the no kids policy which I totally get (won't share it for fear of it ending up in the good old DM)
I understand where they are coming from and it's totally their day and the one time you should even be able to tell people to dress up as chickens if that is your wish!

I will have to check the exclusive use bit as I think if that is the case it probably is unreasonable to turn up with DS. It's such a shame as i think it will be a fabulous wedding!

myownprivateidaho Wed 20-Jul-16 17:59:22

Yeah, I can't see a problem with this at all confused. I really doubt the b&g would be bothered even if they do have exclusive use of the hotel - you've been invited after all, so it's not like you'll be unwelcome, and the main thing they'd be worried about is making sure guests were filling the rooms so they don't lose a deposit.

A lot of hotels offer a babysittng service/ have the contact detaila of a qualified professional. Could you not go with him and then get a couple of hours babysitting so you can pop down and share in the day?

Plus.... exclusive use or not, you will be doing nothing unreasonabel by staying. But if it is exclusive use its unlikely the hot will have any facility for you to eat/ drink there etc as they will be expecting all the guests to be at the wedding

myownprivateidaho Wed 20-Jul-16 18:01:17

I also don't see why your dh can't go even if you can't stay in the hotel. It's only a day - he can even drive back the same night and it must be a pretty important occasion if he's been invited to be part of the wedding party.

Cosmo111 Wed 20-Jul-16 18:02:28

But if you went with DS you wouldn't be able to attend anyways?

If you do book if it's not exclusive than I would avoid going down to see the wedding if they wrote a letter( abit OTT) about no DC.

hilbil21 Wed 20-Jul-16 18:05:43

I actually received an RSVP with a child's name on it and had to contact the parents so maybe a letter instead of a sentence would have been better lol!

What do you plan to do when you're there and the wedding is going on?

OvariesBeforeBrovaries Wed 20-Jul-16 18:08:24

I don't understand why the OP and her DS being in the hotel would make the bride and groom uncomfortable? Surely they'll have more to think about on their wedding day?

PlaymobilPirate Wed 20-Jul-16 18:08:39

I'd find it a bit cringey if I'm honest- I'd think you were hoping I'd just say 'OK, you're here now - you and ds can come in suppose...'

MyMurphy Wed 20-Jul-16 18:12:29

Would your mum come and stay in hotel?

Cosmo111 Wed 20-Jul-16 18:17:53

playmobilpirate I thought the same I would feel uncomfortable if a guest came to the venue with her child whilst the wedding was on but was unable to attend especially if she came down to see her DP and DS.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 20-Jul-16 18:18:59

all go but hire a nanny to look after your son daytime/evening while at wedding, she can either play in the room, or explore the grounds, sure hotel will have other guests there with children

contact the hotel, sure they will have regular ones they use or nanny agencies

what area will you be in and you can ask on childcare boards if anyone local there who can look after dc

i wouldnt go there with dc, but not go to the wedding

i did this last monday, childfree wedding at hotel and i had 2 children who came (as flew from from another country) and all was fine

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