Have I lost the plot completely ? I am sure I have ☹️(15 Posts)
Posting here as a last resort & I think I have lost the plot completely. Nothing seems to be going well in my life for past 8 years. From a failed major business venture ( which btw my husband worked extremely hard, day & night for) and bad health to deception by close family and friends.
Can't even find a minimum wage job to help the situation a little bit. I can't take it any more. Some one please tell me what to do.
Sit and chill.
Work out what you want to be doing this time next year
Them the year after.
Write down what you are good at.
Even little things
Re-write your cv. Get help.
5 relax and make a new plan tomorrow.
Could you go to the CAB?
You could see your GP.
You could volunteer part time if you had too.
Everything is transient. Things can get better.
First of all you need to find a way to let go of the past especially the deception. If you do not feel able to just yet just box the feelings up and allow time to dwell now and then before closing the lid again and continuing.
Then find some positives in your experience. The business venture may have failed in itself but what positive experiences did you gain? Time management, self motivation, accounting?????
Use this to re-evaluate your CV.
Do not be afraid to open your mind to new possibilities! Are you applying for jobs that you are over qualified for? Is there a hobby that you do?
Another thing I would add is evaluating your concept of "things going well" very much like idea of "success". Are you putting pressure on yourself unnecessarily or are you living hand to mouth with nowhere to turn?
Thank you for taking out time to respond. I have rewritten my cv and been applying for jobs & volunteering left right and center, no response. Nothing seems to be going well.
I am already on medication. There are days where it helps and on others it doesn't.
Crankyblob - I have sort of learnt to deal with the deception part but sometimes when other things are not going well either l, it all builds up and I find myself in a very desperate situation. No where to go, no one to turn to. I apply for all sorts of jobs ( some where I am over qualified and some where I am under qualified - possibly) I am in a very difficult situation career wise. We are living hand to mouth I would say.
Sorry about your business and health .
I think a lot of jobs are taken up atm by students so it may improve in September. Don't know if that's any use though.
Can you raise any cash by boot fairs, eBay etc?? If money is tight.
It's easy for me to say I know, but when family hurt me, I was traumatised and honestly letting it go was the best thing I did, the resentment and bitterness was too consuming. It doesn't mean you have forgiven them btw. It just lets you focus on something more helpful.
I hope you find something
I feel for you. I had a significant deception last year and when I am struggling with other things I can really dwell on it. It brings my mood down so much more and I find myself in a black hole. When my mood is lighter I barely give it a second thought.
So not losing the plot but you def need to find your way out of the negative headspace and look to the future. maybe tweak your cv to match the job you are applying for rather than same cv to jobs of all types?
Do you know what you want to do career wise? Do you have a focus?
Above all I would suggest getting the medication changed. Maybe this would help.
Sign up to a temping agency and tell them you are willing to do anything (within reason - obvs not manual work if that wouldn't suit!) I spent 18 months trying to get a job in my specialism and failing miserably after my business failed. No one wanted to employ me because I'd been self employed! I also suffer from mental health issues and found the whole process very demoralizing. In the end I went to a temping agency and said I would do any type of admin work for any number of hours. Within two days I was working part time. I'm now (after just a few weeks) full time with prospects. It's not my specialist field but I'm earning money and being useful which has helped with the mh issues. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more - my particular specialism could very well be of help to you in sorting your head out. In the meantime have some of these
I agree with Crankyblob about deception. It definitely feels worse when there are other challenges. It makes you question your judgment and then you think you must be losing the plot, when in fact there was nothing wrong with your judgement and the deceiver is the fool.
And finding something to focus on does feel like doing something to make changes for the better. If you feel you have some control it's not usually as bad.
And yes, if your medication isn't helping much, it's a good idea to look at other possibilities.
I hope things turn around for you soon.
Right you are going though what I term as your "shit time", everyone but everyone has one really seriously bad time in their life where everything just seems to go from seriously bad to seriously worse.
BUT it will not last forever and I think sometimes you have to go through this to realise what the good things are in your life and appreciate them.
When I was in my 40's I experienced 2 years of awfullness, including death, illness, legal problems, severe health problems, the list just went on and on.... It made me appreciate and realise, who I could really depend and rely on and what in life was really important to me.
You will survive, just be confident in that, good luck
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, everyone. Why don't I come across people like you, in my everyday life ? SIGH!!!
I hope this 8 years of bad luck finally runs out & things get better for all of us.
I am not a woo person at all but I do believe in the power of a positive mind! It doesn't change the things that happen to you but will change the way you approach them.
you may even find that the past 8 years have been a gift when you finally find the path you deserve That might be taking it too far but was the case for us when We found ourself homeless with our 4 children after DH lost his job. It took us down a path of self discovery and now 4 years later we have a successful business which fits around the life's of our 5 children. We would never have had the courage or idea to start had we not hit rock bottom.
Sounds like you are at your rock bottom! Only one way to go from now
I've done a lot of recruitment in various roles over the past 20 years. I'd look very favourably on someone who tried and failed to launch their own business if they highlighted in their cv / cover letter / application form what they'd learned from it. You've had a hell of a lot to deal with but as pp have said, I bet you've learned a lot that would be valuable to future employers.
Very best of luck
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