AIBU to be annoyed by my friend's lack of charitableness?

(70 Posts)
SunFlower222 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:35:37

My friend is pregnant and therefore having a clear out to make room for new baby and doing some nesting...like you do.
She's been trying to sell her old baby things (she has 2 girls, she's now having a boy) on facebook selling pages since April, along with some household bits and bobs. A few things have sold but most of it hasn't.
Every week she's reposting it, still no interest in much of it.
She's not strapped for cash, they're quite comfortable, she doesn't NEED £3 for a baby dress that she bought for £8 9 years ago.
I don't get the mentality, I'd rather just get rid of stuff and give it to a friend who's had a baby or to a charity shop or to a women's charity.
I've never sold any of my old baby stuff and I just don't think I could ever bring myself to ask someone for money for something that's been puked on by my baby and then stored in the loft for 8 years.
I appreciate that to her the stuff has value but surely after advertising the stuff for THREE MONTHS and still no takers, you would just donate it to a good cause?

Charlie97 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:39:11

Sadly, Facebook and eBay are killing charitable donating!

shock

Sootica Mon 18-Jul-16 19:40:50

I cannot be faffed with selling stuff on. Such a hassle for a few quid. I donate it. Not knocking those for whom a few quid makes a difference

Sonders Mon 18-Jul-16 19:42:05

I give everything to charity shops. Some of the stuff I can't imagine anyone wanting to buy and I'm too lazy to try and sell the rest. I also love how my charity shop sends a letter with how much money my junk raised (once it was £70!)

YABU to be annoyed, it's not harming you. Sure it'd be nice for the charity to have some clothes but it's up to her.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Mon 18-Jul-16 19:44:29

I'm the same, just donate the stuff. Far less hassle.

I've known a few people who think everything they own is valuable, though. They hang on to stuff because it's 'worth money'.

ChicRock Mon 18-Jul-16 19:46:18

YANBU. I have a relative doing this (could even be the same person grin), selling baby dresses for £1 each, nobody's bought them in the months she's been advertising them, everyone's probably sick of seeing her adverts day after day on the selling pages.

I just couldn't be arsed.

MollyTwo Mon 18-Jul-16 19:46:52

Yanbu, I would just pass it on or donate it, especially something that's been collecting dust for 8 years! How valuable could it be.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam Mon 18-Jul-16 19:47:53

Maybe she's not strapped for cash because she takes care of the pennies.

SunFlower222 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:50:18

I've got another friend who sells everything and IMO asks too much for stuff, but I can totally understand that because they struggle and need every penny they can get.

But I just feel my friend who is pretty well off is just being greedy, it's the fact that I doubt it's even crossed her mind that she could give it to somebody who has nothing.
I know it's something small but it's got me thinking 'why am I friends with somebody who can't think of anybody but themselves?' sad

DreamingofItaly Mon 18-Jul-16 19:50:31

I understand her trying to sell things, I've just done this and raised a few quid on eBay but most stuff gets sent to the charity shop. I certainly don't try time and time again to sell stuff that's years old!

Plus, I've registered for gift aid at my local charity shop. They tag everything with a number representing me then can claim an extra 28% on what I've donated from the government. Like a PP I get a letter every so often saying what my stuff has raised.

SunFlower222 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:52:13

Maybe she's not strapped for cash because she takes care of the pennies. - she's not strapped for cash because she has a very good career and so does her husband. Not particularly careful with their money when they come to buying/doing things but they just don't like to share or give.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected Mon 18-Jul-16 19:56:07

most charity shops put most of the babystuff in rag recycling, it's not usually easy to sell.
I like to think of it as being used not scrapped for rags
And I find "free to a good home" gets more pisstakers and time wasters than slapping a £2 price tag on it

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected Mon 18-Jul-16 19:57:54

some people actually enjoy Facebook/ebay selling too
Like it's an actual hobby
I don't get it! I hate it! brings out the dregs of society
but I do know people who do it because they enjoy it! Even sell other people's stuff for em.
Takes all sorts.

SaucyJack Mon 18-Jul-16 19:57:57

Can I have your telly OP? You seem like a wonderfully giving and generous person. I'm sure you'd be only too happy to give your own stuff away. Practice what you preach an' all.

ladylambkin Mon 18-Jul-16 20:00:46

Having a good career does not always equal that someone is well off. She maybe does feel charitable by selling good quality items cheaply and giving someone a bargain?

Botofspother Mon 18-Jul-16 20:01:17

I totally understand what you mean. There is someone I know who tried to sell all her friends ( in a group on facebook) some nappies she didn't need anymore. She is a millionaire.
Her choice to do that of course but it did strike me as very mean, there are people in that group who are less well off and it would have helped them out. Can't think of her the same after that!

maggiethemagpie Mon 18-Jul-16 20:03:49

I just made around £500 in 2 months selling old stuff lying around the house, including baby stuff. It all adds up. I tend to give up after the 3rd or 4th listing though. YABU. Some people get a buzz out of selling and making money.

Witchend Mon 18-Jul-16 20:05:01

Nothing to do with charitableness. She might give the money back to a charity of her choice, or give far more in money.

I've sold a few baby things. I also gave away a fridge less than 6 month old to a charity and donate to various charities every month. I don't go round telling people that. Nice to know someone would judge me on the face I got a few pounds for a few items of baby clothes.

fanjoforthemammaries Mon 18-Jul-16 20:07:54

I can't imagine judging a friend for what they do with old clothes, sorry, that is not very charitable.

Danglyweed Mon 18-Jul-16 20:11:27

Theres a woman on our local selling page thats been trying to sell some tatty shit for over 2 years, for 50p etc. Would do my tits in looking at it for longer than 2 weeks, just fecking bin it angry

Ilovewillow Mon 18-Jul-16 20:12:14

I don't need the money but I do a variety of things with my children's things - I have given a lot away to friends, donated a lot to a local hospice charity shop but I have also sold items! I have sold the higher value items as although I don't need the money I do understand the value of money and have an appreciation of what I have so I'm not prepared to donate a £600 pram but I did selll it for a fraction of what it was worth.

SunFlower222 Mon 18-Jul-16 20:16:16

Can I have your telly OP? You seem like a wonderfully giving and generous person. I'm sure you'd be only too happy to give your own stuff away. Practice what you preach an' all.
I'm talking about giving away stuff you don't want, so it's not quite the same as giving away a TV that we use every day, is it?
But yes when we get a new TV, if our existing one still works it'll go to the charity shop.

tiredsotiredso Mon 18-Jul-16 20:16:35

Just an extra opinion since you asked: she may actually need or want the money. Do you actually know the circumstances of their marriage & finances? She may eBay to get her own spending money etc...so much is hidden behind very middle class apparently affluent doors...

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 18-Jul-16 20:18:00

I gave all my baby stuff away to friends or charity shops. We were given loads of second hand, third hand maybe even fourth hand stuff and just passed all of it on.

I never sell my own stuff either. I passed on 4 suitcases of what were originally very expensive, very classic clothes to a friend's daughter.

marblestatue Mon 18-Jul-16 20:23:33

She might be charitable in other ways. Donating online isn't visible to anyone else, for example.

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