I'm definitely BU - please tell me not to order a drink

(83 Posts)
Hiphopopotamus Mon 18-Jul-16 15:17:38

So I'm an alcoholic. I was doing well but have had a pretty massive relapse in the last few months. I'm back on the wagon now and I'm nearly 2 weeks sober.

I'm currently sitting in a restaurant waiting for my partner to finish work. Restaurants alone are a big trigger place for me as they are places I used to drink a lot - I never felt comfortable in pubs alone but it felt acceptable if I had a plate of food in front of me. I'm sitting here with a Diet Coke when all I want to do is order a bottle of wine and get stuck in. Please tell me how unreasonable I'm being.

blueskywithclouds Mon 18-Jul-16 15:19:18

It just isn't worth a relapse. Think about all you have been through to get sober, don't do it! If you have to, leave and stand outside for a minute!

Stickerrocks Mon 18-Jul-16 15:19:42

Congratulations on hitting 2 weeks. A big, cool diet coke is far nicer than a glass of wine on a day like this. Keep you hands busy by fiddling around on MN and the time will fly by.

MatildaTheCat Mon 18-Jul-16 15:20:09

Text your do and get up and go to meet him. Just explain to the staff you will be back shortly.

Good luck, you can do it.

EastMidsMummy Mon 18-Jul-16 15:20:43

Have a strong coffee. Have a massive cake. Have some ice cream. Get up, pay your bill, walk around and come back later. Go and buy something you can't afford. Just don't have wine.

redhat Mon 18-Jul-16 15:21:05

leave the restaurant now and wait for your partner somewhere else. Its a beautiful day, find a bench and get a magazine to take your mind off it.

CaffeineBomb Mon 18-Jul-16 15:21:42

Don't do it! You know it won't be just this one drink and you're doing really well. I have alcoholics in my family and it breaks my heart that they won't admit it and try to do something, think about your dp and all of your loved ones who want so desperately for you to succeed.

YANBU to want one but YWBU to have one.

flowers you're doing great, keep it up!

acasualobserver Mon 18-Jul-16 15:21:53

It's a good sign that you posted here before ordering the wine. I don't think you want to and I don't think you will.

KayTee87 Mon 18-Jul-16 15:22:03

You're doing so well. Either go and sit in the toilet until your partner has arrived or stand outside. You need to remove yourself from the table.

pillowaddict Mon 18-Jul-16 15:22:36

Get up and go for a walk, or even the toilet and back, take your time and try not to look at the drinks menu at all. If you have to wait inside restaurant then copse your food, browse on here/read the news on your phone and don't look up or around at anyone drinking wine. You're doing so well, keep focussed on that.

user1466200877 Mon 18-Jul-16 15:23:05

Well done. When this has passed you will be so pleased! I have been there and know how difficult it is. Good Luck.

YesIcan Mon 18-Jul-16 15:23:27

Play it to the end. How much wine would you actually drink? What happens at 4pm? 5? 6?
This urge will pass. smile

ChicRock Mon 18-Jul-16 15:23:57

I don't understand why you've chosen to meet somewhere knowing it's a big trigger place for you?

Pay for your coke and leave. Text your partner that you'll meet him in the park, outside work, back at home, etc.

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe Mon 18-Jul-16 15:24:21

They are right! Get out of there now. Maybe there's some other shops you can browse round? Or just walk till you meet your DH.
Great idea to post on mumsnet. Well done.

Itsaplayonwords Mon 18-Jul-16 15:25:00

Distract yourself by looking on here, looking at the food menu etc. Have a look at the desserts and tell yourself you can have whichever one you want if you avoid the wine. You have done fantastically to get through these two weeks, you need to reward yourself for that.

BreconBeBuggered Mon 18-Jul-16 15:27:08

Tell us what's on the menu while you're waiting.

Hiphopopotamus Mon 18-Jul-16 15:30:36

Thanks everyone. It's just really really hard. The play it to the end is good advice though. But all I want is a big glass of cold white wine.

Coconutty Mon 18-Jul-16 15:32:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 18-Jul-16 15:33:26

Leave

Right now

Get up, walk out.

Text your partner to meet you somewhere else.

Do it. Now. Walk out!

OllyBJolly Mon 18-Jul-16 15:37:00

If you have done two weeks you can do another few hours - well done.

And now restaurants are no longer trigger places - you've proven you don't have to drink.

Why are you having lunch mid afternoon? Special occasion? What kind of restaurant is it?

BarbaraofSeville Mon 18-Jul-16 15:37:21

Might it be better to eat in places that don't serve alcohol like cafes or coffee shops?

YesterdayTomorrowToday Mon 18-Jul-16 15:37:54

Walk outside op and feel the lovely sunshine on your face and how good life is now you're sober and how much you want to keep it that way.

Text dp and change the meeting place. Just leave and go and discover somewhere else you can meet. Or walk towards where dp is coming from and get some exercise at the same time.

Joolsy Mon 18-Jul-16 15:38:57

Just think how proud of yourself and how good about yourself you'll feel later. Stick it out x

mamalovesmojitos Mon 18-Jul-16 15:38:59

I think you're amazing for posting this. Up

KayTee87 Mon 18-Jul-16 15:39:51

Op it's ok to acknowledge that you would like a glass of wine and equally acknowledge that you are choosing NOT to have that glass. Choose not to have each glass that you would like one by one. This feeling will pass.

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