Can I just say this annoys me a lot?
I hear it in every conversation about older parents. There are actually 2 sides to this argument - that having older parents mean you are free of certain responsibilities at a younger age.
I had older parents. They just met late. They were in their 50s before I went to secondary school. Back then that was highly unusual.
I spent most of my 20s and 30s taking care of them and in and out of hospital. They died in my mid & late thirties. It wasn't easy - god no. It was a terrible burden. One I'm glad is behind me. I started a family and my parents will never know their grandchildren. It's sad of course.
But would that burden have been any less when I was 55? Or even 65? No.
I would just have been older and more shattered. And perhaps more resentful. My neighbour was taking care of "Mummy" up to her 60s. Filling in the gaps of the home helps and Meals on Wheels. All the hospital/GP appointments. All the maintenance on the mums home. She was exhausted. And Mummy was as demanding as old people are.
AIBU to think that if you are going to be saddled with the burden of care for older parents, then maybe there is something to be said for being free of that burden at a younger age?
Yes there are plenty who put their parents in a nursing home - but that's not easy either. The visits and the worry and the emotional pressure. It's never enough.
So AIBU to please stop using this as a stick to beat those who get pregnant later in life? "Your kids won't thank you for it". It's far too simplistic.
I'm grateful that the only people I have to worry about for the rest of my life are my kids. Sometimes I look at friends my age (40s) whose parents are showing the very first signs of not actually being immortal, and I wouldn't swap places with them for anything.
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AIBU?
"It's not fair on your kids if you get pregnant in your 40s"
87 replies
ElspethFlashman · 16/07/2016 10:18
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