To ask my mumsnetters with mixed raced children

(31 Posts)
pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 19:26:15

Currently we live in a very diverse area however my husband who is white wants to move back to his home town it's very white and I am worried about our children we have 2 small ones but a teenage son who hasn't exprinced much overt racism due to were we currently live being very mixed

What I want to know so you think I should move I scared of being racially attacked and there have been some nasty incidents in the home town also worried about my children's self asteam growing up not haveing any one in there coummity who looks like them

And on top of all that you still have sectarianism

We looking to move to Belfast possibly

We can get a bigger home by moving pay off about 30k off the mortgage and reduce the rest to about 500pm in a better area however we we scafice the cultural element and possibly open our selfs up to racial and sectarian abuse

My sil who is Asian who lives NI had a brick though her window last year shock

DailyFailAteMyFish Fri 15-Jul-16 19:29:37

I think it depends where in Belfast you move frankly.
South Belfast is more racially mixed than most parts of the city but has higher property prices. Good schools and facilities though!
Frankly I have heard of unprovoked racist attacks recently in NI following Brexit, but I think that's on the increase everywhere.

RaskolnikovsGarret Fri 15-Jul-16 19:30:18

I don't know anything about NI, but there are lots of places we wouldn't live in England with our mixed race children. Why risk it, especially in this climate?

Other posters might claim we are being paranoid, but there are several rural places where we have been 'not welcomed', and not just because we are townies. My London DDs have never experienced overt racism here - long may it continue.

Vixxfacee Fri 15-Jul-16 19:30:21

I wouldn't.

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 19:47:13

Yes south Belfast

poster RaskolnikovsGarret

That's what I think it's not just the racism it's the sectarianism it's very frightening to have to deal with one is confused but both not sure I can cope

dailyfail

To be honest I don't think they need brexit as an accuse here
I have read about people having
Blacks go home on there doors
Kkk flags being flown and people being burnt out of there's homes this is all before the brexit the stats say the most rasict places are those were few BME people live

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/04/belfast-african-man-paint-attack-moving-house

www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/a-race-hate-crime-happens-every-three-hours-in-northern-ireland-depressing-new-psni-figures-reveal-31215898.html

Trooperslane Fri 15-Jul-16 19:52:27

I'm from Belfast born and bred and live in Scotland now.

Genuinely don't think you will have a problem in South Belfast though if you want PM me and I'll get current friend's views (A NI plus brummie view)

It's Univille - plus we have for some reason had tonnes of Chinese/HK immigrants who are settled for like 50 years and don't have any problems - though I get that I'm Belfast White so I don't necessarily see it all.

If you had DH can get a job easily I'd go for it

or come to Glasgow and be with us

Trooperslane Fri 15-Jul-16 19:55:52

Plus you will be able to afford a massive house and it will be beside lovely parks and the Lissy Road if you're lucky.

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 20:00:40

We would move to Scotland in a hart beat however we can't move to another part of the U.K. In case we wake up in a independent Scotland

Were 100% certain my husband would loose his job they were planning to stop operations there if they voted yes in the last ref so we couldn't risk it

I just don't know we went up the shank hill today the massive gates I not sure I want to live in a tiney place that's restricted even more by no go areas I never felt scared to be black anywhere in the uk but I ashamed to say I feel it here very much

OhThatThingAgain Fri 15-Jul-16 20:04:08

I have mixed race children, I'm from the north east, my husband is from London. We live in London.

I'd love to go back to the north east but my head says I should raise my children in London where no one cares that much about race.

My own family in the north east are not 'racist' in the far right EDL sense, but some of them think nothing of using the word Paki or nigger, and complain about foreigners. They are racist. I'll be staying put in London, it just seems safer for now.

I think unless you are not white, or in a mixed race partnership it's easy to not see a racist undercurrent, when you live it every day you are more tuned into it. I have lots of friends up north who are not racist but I've had to remove family and (ex) friends from my social media because they are openly racist. I will not expose my children to that.

TheDuchyOfGrandFenwick Fri 15-Jul-16 20:07:50

I wouldn't do it. We live in a city where there are plenty of mixed people and a wide range of nationalities, I.don't want DH or DD to feel like the odd one out.

JasperDamerel Fri 15-Jul-16 20:14:06

Posh South Belfast would be ok from a harassment point of view, but there would still be the problem of being very visibly different (unless your ethnic origin is Chinese/East Asian, in which case you will look like part of the community).

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 20:16:09

Yes I think may of you are confirming what I already thought

So we're to live then we were also thinking about Wolverhampton or Cardiff

We hope to buy a bigger home and reduce our mortgage we currently live just outside London we would have about 235k

Susieqt Fri 15-Jul-16 20:17:26

I live in a predominantly white area with my mixed race daughter (not through choice, I had to move here after being made homeless) and I hate it! She's always the only person of colour at toddler groups etc, and I may be paranoid but I feel like she is left out of things more because of the colour of her skin. I was born and bred in London and would give anything to go back where my daughter can just blend in, and she can feel connected to her Jamaican heritage, she gets called "coloured" all the time, and casual racism is par of the course, I worry she'll grow up feeling like she doesn't fit in and it breaks my heart...

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 20:18:53

No I am black just somthing simple like we would have to go to Dublin to get my bloody hair done and I don't even think there is a Afro hairdressers in northen irland

I would be open to living in dubin however I have been told it's as expensive as London in terms of housing

BeardMinge Fri 15-Jul-16 20:19:34

My partner is Asian and we have no intention of ever leaving London, unless it's for a similarly diverse city, like Bristol for example.

Mind you there is racism everywhere, just living in a city isn't enough to avoid ignorant bigots unfortunately, but we do feel more relaxed here than we do in Devon!

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 20:20:51

Yes during out Hoilday here I have been called coloured a few times also worse than being the subject to rascism my daughters have been treated like a pet with people wanting to pet her hair and touch her skin as if they are from planet zog

pleasemothermay1 Fri 15-Jul-16 20:21:35

Ah didn't think of Bristol

NE14T Fri 15-Jul-16 20:33:11

Bristol is lovely but very expensive.

Have you though about Leicester? It's a lot nicer that most people imagine it to be ;-) and has the best secondaries in the East Midlands. You have move to a 'nice' area but that's the same with any big city. You would never feel different smile

JackieAndHyde4eva Fri 15-Jul-16 20:39:35

I don't even think there is a Afro hairdressers in northen irland

There is at least one if i remember correctly i think down either the ravenhill or castlereagh road. I only know because i remember passing it a few times. I'm sure there are others if you put a post on some belfast local selling pages you would get recommendations.

JackieAndHyde4eva Fri 15-Jul-16 20:41:18

In fact a quick google brings up a few in belfast and i've only had a glance.

badtime Fri 15-Jul-16 20:51:01

I can't really say you should or shouldn't move to Belfast, but a Ghanaian acquaintance lived in Belfast for several years and liked it. She left due to work.

Like quite a few English-born people I know, she basically moved there for the schools.

I can say that I wouldn't move (back) there because of their intolerance of difference and I am white Northern Irish.

TheDuchyOfGrandFenwick Fri 15-Jul-16 20:58:57

Sheffield is nice😁 <waves from Sheffield>

Susieqt Fri 15-Jul-16 21:01:25

My daughter gets her hair touched all the time! And the funny thing is she has european hair! I hate it! I'm trying to teach her not to invade personal space (she's a higher of everyone!) yet grown ups in cafe hers all the time angry

snowgirl29 Fri 15-Jul-16 21:15:31

I don't know anything about Belfast so cant speak for that area. But in my experience (2 mixed race DCs). Racism can and does happen anywhere. We live in a very multicultural city, DD goes to an inner city state school with a variety of different cultural backgrounds and she still got racial abuse at her school last year sad . It was quickly sorted though and hasn't happened again since so... <shrugs> deputy head gave the perpetrator a right royal bollocking.

donajimena Sat 16-Jul-16 08:04:05

Cardiff is brilliant. Its been multicultural for longer than most areas of the UK due to the docks. I'm sure there are some stats or articles I'll have a google.
I appreciate I'm saying this from a white perspective but I'm in my 40's now and I've never known the city as anything but diverse and I feel lucky to live here.
If you haven't visited you absolutely MUST

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