AIBU to think he's bumped her off?

(143 Posts)
Thunderwing Thu 14-Jul-16 09:29:56

He probably hasn’t (a bit tongue in cheek)

I live in a block of flats, many of which are rented properties so the turnover of tenants can be quite high. About a year ago a middle aged couple move in, did the usual introductions blah blah blah. The woman (henceforth known as ‘the victim’) is a foreign lady from outwith the EU. (Don’t want to say which country in case it outs me or her, but think from the other side of the world with relatively good spoken English). The victim was very talkative, friendly and quite bubbly.

The man (henceforth known as ‘the perpetrator’) was quite closed off in comparison, not really giving much away and very reserved. That’s fine, some people are like that. Plus I caught them on moving day which I know can be very stressful.

We were exchanging pleasantries and observations about the area, when the victim mentioned something about one of the perpetrator’s family members. He shut her down immediately with “We don’t talk about that”, and gave her the evil eye, she looks totally abashed and they make their excuses to finish our chat. I make up my mind at this point he’s a bit of a dick.

Fast forward several months, I’ve barely seen hide nor hair of the victim, but the smells coming from her flat suggest she’s a great cook. The perpetrator on the other hand, I see quite a bit, he has never said more than a dozen words to me in this time.

More recently, about six weeks ago, I bump into him on the stairs. He tells me that the victim is back in her own country so that’s why I won’t have seen her for some time but that she’s flying back home tomorrow and he can’t wait to see her. Fair enough methinks, I wondered why she hadn’t been cooking so much. Sure enough the next day there are ‘Welcome Home’ banners on their door. Aww, maybe he’s not a complete dick. The lovely smells start coming back into the hall within days.

Yesterday, I bump into him again. He tells me that the victim is not yet back from her home country. She’s been away for 2 months, she’s having problems getting a visa, he may well have to go out to her country himself…..(and yes, the smell of cooking is gone again) When I told my DH the story he said ‘yeah, he’s killed her, he looks the sort’. hmm confused

I can’t get my head around the fact that she was coming home ‘the next day’ and then all of a sudden she’s stuck because she can’t get a visa. Surely they would have known that the day before she’s booked on a flight?

Talk some sense into me good people of mumsnet….

BillSykesDog Thu 14-Jul-16 09:31:31

You do know some men can cook right?

dididotherightthinglastnight Thu 14-Jul-16 09:31:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scarydinosaurs Thu 14-Jul-16 09:32:04

shock perhaps HE DOES THE COOKING.

I thought this about someone. I did a Facebook search and she was very much alive grin

If she has been murdered the Police will use this thread as evidence and then it will end up in the daily fail!

She is probably dead

branofthemist Thu 14-Jul-16 09:36:41

I would suggest she has decided she isn't coming home yet or perhaps at all and his visa story is because he is embarrassed his wife left him.

Thunderwing Thu 14-Jul-16 09:42:40

I'm well aware that men can cook, my DH is an excellent cook. And yes the perpetrator probably is also a good cook. However, his car was always away when I noticed the really really good smells. She doesn't drive (she told me on the first meeting), and the radio was on so I don't think it was a slow cooker I was smelling....

Thunderwing Thu 14-Jul-16 09:44:28

I'm hoping that you're right bran and that she's just left him. But why tell me at all? I wouldn't even have noticed cos she never seemed to leave the building.

Scarydinosaurs Thu 14-Jul-16 09:45:49

Get a hobby. You're over invested and this is weird. It must cross some privacy laws. Your poor neighbours don't need your interference.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Thu 14-Jul-16 09:46:29

I wonder "what" he was cooking...people are very strange when it comes to disposing of bodies.

Madmumness001 Thu 14-Jul-16 09:46:38

Get a long trench coat. A hat some stunners and break that motha'luvin door down.

WibblyWobblyJellyHead Thu 14-Jul-16 09:47:42

You know the really good smells are from him cooking her body parts, right? Apparently roasting human flesh smells delicious...

PinkyPlumet Thu 14-Jul-16 09:51:36

dinosaurs i bet your the life of the party.

TheoriginalLEM Thu 14-Jul-16 09:56:41

marking place this will either
a) be a total let down
b) be really funny and entertaining
c) be deleted. ..

Thunderwing Thu 14-Jul-16 09:57:12

Hannibal Lector Mk II lives in my building doesn't he grin it's a shame that the perpetrator is not as charismatic as Anthony Hopkins or Mads Mikkleson (or even the CSI one who played him in Manhunter)

And yes dinosaurs I'm far too invested, naturally. I mean I must have talked about it with my DH for an entire 2 minutes yesterday and I am no way trying to procrastinate at work with a tongue in cheek thread. wink

hareinthemoon Thu 14-Jul-16 10:09:37

Like this?

Thunderwing Thu 14-Jul-16 10:17:09

I can see how my life will look now going forward. I think I was born for this.

<desperately searches for a telescope>

DailyMailAreMassiveCunts Thu 14-Jul-16 10:18:17

If he ever brings you a casserole over, I'd maybe not eat it. If I were you.

youshouldcancelthecheque Thu 14-Jul-16 10:19:01

My best friends are a gay couple who married abroad, one didn't return to the UK but went off to get a Visa and the other returned, a lot of cooking was done in the time that it took to get a Visa sorted, (4.5 months ish). I wonder if their neighbours thought the same?

GloriaGaynor Thu 14-Jul-16 10:21:10

I love Rear Window.

So I think she's never left he just doesn't let her out of the house.

If she's cooking she can't be dead.

hareinthemoon Thu 14-Jul-16 10:22:37

Have you got a friend who can break into the flat and check to see if she has left her wedding ring behind?

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat Thu 14-Jul-16 10:23:21

Totally agree with LEM, and an also blatantly place marking. either this is interesting or my pmt is causing me to act strangely as I rarely ever place mark

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected Thu 14-Jul-16 10:23:33

They're subletting

They have more people in there than they've let their landlord know, maybe her sister or friend.

Which is why he's being shifty and the times she is/isn't there doesn't match up with the cooking

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 14-Jul-16 10:24:40

There are days when being vegetarian really comes in handy!

It is odd. I'd be thinking the same as you

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected Thu 14-Jul-16 10:25:41

also why they try not to be seen coming and going, incase the neighbours see it's more than the 2 of them in there, or that she's subletting to friends when she's at home. They're probably avoiding you incase you complain to the landlord - they might have gotten kicked out of their last place for exactly that

In quite a few "other side of the world" type cultures its quite normal to put up friends and relatives in small spaces, but doesn't go down well with English landlords or neighbours

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