To decide I am not bothering any more?

(18 Posts)
Saucisson2016 Tue 12-Jul-16 18:53:46

Ever since met DH SIL has been mega frosty towards me to the point where we asked her to be a bridesmaid and she said she would think about it and then never gave us an answer. Various other things have happened and she clearly doesn't like me. This does not bother me in the slightest. What does bother me is having to spend time in the company of someone whose company I do not enjoy. Life is just too short. Don't want to make things awkward for DH so special occasions like birthdays and Christmas I suppose I will just have to grin and bear going over there but other than that I am done. AIBU?

pussinasda Tue 12-Jul-16 18:57:22

no your not bu
im the same if i think ppl dont like me ill be polite and civil buts as far as i go , i aint kissing no ones ares.
you might find her attitude changes when she realizes you dont give a shit

JuneBuggy Tue 12-Jul-16 18:59:40

Civility will help your DH and if she is being civil then it would be good if you could be too. If she's not being civil then yanbu to go NC, of course.

I agree with puss, she'll probably relax once she realises you're really not bothered anymore.

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs Tue 12-Jul-16 19:06:18

YANBU.
she can go to hell.

branofthemist Tue 12-Jul-16 19:17:44

My brothers wife has made it clear she doesn't like me. I do exactly what you are planning. Only see her when I must and keep interaction to a minimum. It's the easiest way.

Yanbu

NavyandWhite Tue 12-Jul-16 19:23:37

Hang on.

What could be the reason she seemingly dislikes you? Is there a back story?

People are normally pleasant human beings.
Especially to the GF of your brother.

Saucisson2016 Tue 12-Jul-16 19:54:45

No backstory never had a cross word. If there is a reason I am certainly not aware of it.

NavyandWhite Tue 12-Jul-16 19:57:34

Personally if this were me I would get her on her own and ask what the problem is. No way would I let her make me feel like this if there was no known reason.

Saucisson2016 Tue 12-Jul-16 20:01:57

I don't feel like anything. My feelings are not hurt. I just don't want to be around someone who I find unpleasant.

NavyandWhite Tue 12-Jul-16 20:04:55

Well it's your call but things won't get any easier. I could not ignore that sort of behaviour!

hastheworldgonemad Tue 12-Jul-16 20:11:53

Is she unpleasant generally? If not she sounds jealous of you.

branofthemist Tue 12-Jul-16 20:16:45

OP you sound like me.
I was shocked and hurt that sil tried to stop my mum spending time with me, unless she was present.

But she has done this sort of thing so much now, it nether bothers me or shocks me. It just is what it is.

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals Tue 12-Jul-16 20:17:40

This is what I've done, much happier now I'm not being belittled and manipulated. Life is too short, Tim is the one thing you give others that you cannot get back. My time, generosity and kindness goes to the genuine, lovely people who are not fake with me. It has took me until nearly 40 though.

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals Tue 12-Jul-16 20:18:23

Time* don't lets drag Tim into it, poor soul😁

maxeffort0satisfaction Tue 12-Jul-16 20:18:46

just avoid as much as you can and if you have to be in the same place keep contact civil and to a minimum. its very common. she will probably be grateful that you're keeping your distance too.

ynbu.

myownprivateidaho Tue 12-Jul-16 20:21:50

Honestly, she hasn't done anything wrong. She just doesn't like you. It's not nice for you, but it's not a crime on her side either. And yes, of course you must be civil and act like you haven't noticed, though of course no need to seek out her company.

Saucisson2016 Tue 12-Jul-16 20:25:58

I am not bothered about who is right or wrong I just don't want to spend time around unpleasant people. Sounds like most people are saying don't bother which is what I thought. I have absolutely no interest in spending my idle hours imagining reasons why it is the way that it is. I simply do not care.

blueskywithclouds Tue 12-Jul-16 20:40:23

Be civil, don't bitch about her to your partner and only see her when you have to. Sounds like you are being reasonable to me!

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