Ok I know I'm being unreasonable but I just need help dealing with my unreasonable feelings - no flaming please!
DH is a bit of a Mr Perfect. He's kind, good humoured, hard-working, funny etc. and will do anything for anyone. He's the kind of person who can fix anything and is great at cooking and gardening too. I try to keep up but I seem to mess up anything practical. I've always loved those things about him and I always will but just lately I've been feeling a bit resentful of all the praise he gets even though I know he deserves it.
Every time we have people over, he gets praised. I know people are more likely to notice that the garden is looking lovely rather than the house is clean and the laundry is done so I don't expect credit for my more mundane tasks but it still rankles me when it happens. They praise him for growing his own vegetables but don't stop to praise me for looking after the children for half a day at a time so he can disappear to the allotment. He does help family members a lot with things like computers, DIY etc. I wish I could help in those ways but I don't have the skills and knowledge. I listen to everyone's woes and supervise their children when they need help but again that's something that is largely under the radar. Everyone tells me constantly how lucky I am to have him and I know I am but I can't help bristling when people say this so much or when they always ask his opinion on things and never mine even though I do have well thought out opinions on most things.
To top it off, my dd (age 4) is going through a rather long phase of wanting daddy and telling me she hates me. Last week dh helped my mum install her new computer and she's bought him a new tablet for several hundred pounds because he's "been so brilliant!". I know he deserves it but I would have helped her if I could, I've had nothing new for years and he gets all that. He felt awkward about it, saying to me it was very over the top and he doesn't help people to get rewards and I don't blame him but again he's getting recognition all the time. I was having to take care of things at home yet again to enable him to help her.
I know I sound dreadful and ungrateful but I'd appreciate if there is anyone who can empathise in any way or give me something constructive to help. It's hard - when you're married to the perfect one, what does that make you? Invisible, it seems.
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AIBU?
To feel a bit eclipsed by my dh?
34 replies
Justmeagain78 · 11/07/2016 19:58
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