Hello,
I have no idea what I'm doing. I just went to the bottom of the page, found 'Popular Talk Forums' and clicked on here! Please tell me if I'm in the wrong place. I have just signed up.
Our daughter is in Year 2, she attends an Infant School. She has Osteosarcoma, so has been in and out of hospital. There is no need to go through her whole story, but she is currently having chemotherapy. She has already done chemo, for 10 weeks, and had surgery. We are (hopefully, fingers crossed) battling through the final year of treatment. She has spent a lot of time as an inpatient, but will hopefully have most of this chemo while going in as an outpatient, if that makes sense?
She will be moving up to a Junior School in September, but we are deciding to move, just so we can be closer to our preferred hospital (her treatment couldn't be there full-time, due to the distance) so things will just be easier for her, and us! Our son will be starting school then too, so we have found a great Primary School. We had to go in for a meeting (as she was joining the school in one of their not very common entry points (can't think of the word!)) and it was also a good time for us to talk about her needs.
She will be attending school, like any normal child, but will not be in for 2 afternoons, she may also miss an extra day each month (for other regular checks). This lady wasn't happy... I wasn't keen on her attitude, to be honest. Making subtle digs like "we like our attendance to be the best it can be" and "she'll have to leave at lunchtime, so lessons don't get disturbed". She didn't sound happy at all.
To be honest, I didn't even bring up about her hair, assuming it wouldn't be an issue at all. Her Infant School is really understanding and teaches the children, so they understand, etc.
She specifically handed me a sheet of paper with their hair policy on it. I don't know if that was trying to tell me something or what, it was just odd that it was just that on the bit of paper. I then mentioned that she likes to wear headbands, that are colourful. I was going on to explain that I know bright headbands might not be allowed, but she interrupts me and goes on to explain how "a school cap will be sufficient"... I didn't even get a chance to answer to that, as she moves on to talk about other aspects of the school.
I really don't think she handed any of it sensitively. Her class teacher is absolutely lovely though, really sweet.
I'm just wondering if this is something she has to follow? What will happen if she doesn't wear the school hat? These are the school summer caps, by the way. I never in a million years thought this would be an issue. Is there anyway that I can get her excused from these hair rules?
I know this is a bit of a long shot posting here, as I'm not sure how many people will have gone through the same thing, so I might not get any advice... It's worth a try though!
Thank you in advance,
Kate
AIBU?
Our daughter has to wear a hat at school, is this right? (No hair)
Georgeson · 10/07/2016 23:09
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Do all the children have to wear the school cap?
If so, I guess she'll have to too (maybe on top of a nice hair band?)
If not, it's way out of order to suggest that your daughter does just because she has no hair
Was the woman your spoke with the head? If not, I'd ask to speak to the head.
The class teacher will be the most important person though.
Sorry that the school representative was so shoddy in her treatment. I'm shocked, but not surprised IYSWIM, somebody would moan about attendance records in such a situation. 
While I have not been through what your family has, I think that many times it's better not to ask about something you want, as it forces a decision to be made, but rather declare it instead. It sounds as if the school cap comment was off-hand, and if I were you, I'd continue with the headband, in whatever colour the school uniform is. If the topic is brought up again, re. the cap, you could tell them that caps are hot and itchy against her skin and would distract her from learning. Said with authority and confidence, it would take somebody incredibly insensitive to continue to complain.
Good luck.
No, it's not normal. My niece had cancer when she was 5 and had chemo, so no hair, for a time. She wore one of about 10 different head coverings depending on her mood of the day, how hot it was and what she fancied.
Can you see if she can have the play staff do some board games with her during treatment, then school could put her absence down as 'educated off site' 
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