...to keep their cat?

(36 Posts)
WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 21:56:31

Moved to a new house 18 months ago. Noticed a teeny cat always roaming the estate, with very patchy fur. Really small, like a year-old kitten.

One day I threw stale bread out for the birds and the little cat leapt on it and just wolfed it down. I gave it some chicken and stroked it. Noticed it had awful scabs all over its back, fur falling out, bald spots everywhere. Found out it lived at our next-door neighbours' house, so went over there, said hello, and said I'd noticed its cat had scabs. They said, oh it's a "minor skin condition" and they had a cream for it, but it would never stay still long enough for it to be applied. I said it kept coming to my house and they didn't mind.

I'm sure it's not relevant, but NDN is a council-owned house, with a horrifically overgrown garden, and junk (doors, chairs, crap) all along our shared passageway.

A month passed and cat was coming in to my house every day and sleeping ALL day. I went over to NDN again and said I really thought she ought to go to the vet. They said they couldn't afford it. I was feeding the cat everyday at this point.

I then rang CPL and they said the fur/scabs might just be flea allergy. The cat seemed to go downhill, so we took her to the vet. She needed antibiotics, flea treatment. £70, which we paid for. I also got them to check she'd been microchipped. She had, but the address was not the NDN, it was in a different nearby town. (The NDN had said they'd got the cat from a friend.) They also said it wasn't a kitten, but about 5 years old.

By this point (3 months), we'd all fallen in love with the cat, so we just unofficially adopted it. All her fur grew back, scabs vanished, fur all thick and luxurious. She got playful, more trusting, and now just spends all her time here. We have an unlocked cat flap and don't force her to stay here.

This has been going on for the past 18 months and at NO POINT did the NDN come over, speak to us, or mention the cat.

We got the vet to contact the owners on the microchip, but the phone numbers were out of date (work number, owner had left the company; mobile number, doesn't work) and they can't be contacted.

Anyway. Last night the NDN were blaring music at 2.30am and DH went over to ask them to turn it down. A bloke we'd never seen before answered the door and, when he found out who DH was, said, "You stole our cat. No we are not going to turn the music down, in fact, when I see you again I'm going to fuck you up, you and your skank wife."

DH didn't take this very well and they ended up squaring up to each other. I don't know the exact conversation, but DH said the bloke was hammered.

I woke up determined to go over and sort out the cat thing once and for all, but "I will fuck you up" keeps ring in my head and now I think, fuck it. Fuck them. They neglected their cat until it was malnourished, starving, scabby, bleeding and covered in fleas, so they don't deserve it. And they're not even the owners on the microchip!

What should I do?

LaurieFairyCake Sun 10-Jul-16 21:59:16

Keep the cat

Move

Buggers Sun 10-Jul-16 22:02:43

They sound vile. Don't move, report them to the council for anti social behaviour and hope they get kicked out! Can't stand people who don't look after their animalsangry!

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:03:01

I know it's not relevant that it's a council house! But it's an unloved, untidy, scruffy house with a garden with grass up to your neck, garden furniture in a rotting pile, broken greenhouse, etc. They also have 2 dogs and another cat.

WorraLiberty Sun 10-Jul-16 22:03:59

Keep the cat.

What does this mean though?

I'm sure it's not relevant, but NDN is a council-owned house, with a horrifically overgrown garden, and junk (doors, chairs, crap) all along our shared passageway.

Of course it's not relevant, so why add it? confused

If they were a neat, tidy family with a mortgage, would treating the cat badly be somehow ok?

ArmySal Sun 10-Jul-16 22:06:33

I'd keep it.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:08:19

I would report them, but don't you have a legal obligation to report neighbour disputes when you try to sell your house?

This isn't the first bad neighbour thing to happen here. The NDN on the other side are horrible too. Their 4 y/o swears like a sailor (fuck, cunt, everything, to his parents!) and the mum told me that he said that my son (8, nice, normal) said that I "suck his willy". :-( WTF do I do about that?!

I had to buy a place with just my own money, this is all I could afford. The house is a decent size, which we need. The town is brilliant. This estate is quiet, pretty, but the NDN are rough.

Crunchymum Sun 10-Jul-16 22:12:24

Why hasn't your DH contributed to your house? <misses point slightly>

Crunchymum Sun 10-Jul-16 22:13:08

If your DH put's some money in the pot you can move?

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:16:45

DH and I looked into buying a house together, but he is still the holder of the mortgage on his ex's house, where his ex lives with their DC.

Because he still has that mortgage, and his credit rating was pretty bad, the only mortgages we could have got had really high interest rates.

I decided I'd rather buy a place by myself. But we're married now, so I think we should pursue a joint mortgage. Plus his credit rating should be better by now.

He needs to come off his ex's mortgage, but that's another can of worms. She'll never qualify for a mortgage by herself so he'd effectively be making her homeless if he insisted they sell the house. The kids are 11 and 10.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:18:39

It's all a mess, isn't it? I feel now that the cat is the least of my worries!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 10-Jul-16 22:20:29

Just keep the cat. Cat has moved into yours as it was unhappy.

Lucky kittysmile

raviolidreaming Sun 10-Jul-16 22:23:33

don't you have a legal obligation to report neighbour disputes when you try to sell your house?

I'm in Scotland so it might be different, but I didn't have to disclose neighbour disputes unless asked - which we weren't, thankfully!

sepa Sun 10-Jul-16 22:26:23

Keep the cat. Cats can't really be 'owned' by someone as in if they don't like you and have the chance to escape then they will just move to where they like.

We had a kitty who used to go sleep in one of our neighbors houses like he was starved. He wasn't, he was just a greedy piggy but he was always in great condition and the neighbors knew he was ours and would come when called.

We have another cat, who is a stray or neglected when he comes, we feed him, flea treatment him and remove his ticks and he gets a lovely coat on him. Sometimes he isn't seen for a month and comes back skinny, scabby and disheveled. We don't seek him out but don't kick him out.

I hate it when animals are treated badly. Your doing the right thing for the kitty

sepa Sun 10-Jul-16 22:27:09

Ps, can you call the cat Phil? I think it's a nice name for a cat

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 10-Jul-16 22:32:45

I think you only have to report neighbourhood issues if it's gone to official mediation, happy to be corrected though as I'm not entirely sure where I heard that.

Cantsleepwontsleep123 Sun 10-Jul-16 22:38:12

Confused - your son told a 4 year old you suck his willy??

raviolidreaming Sun 10-Jul-16 22:40:42

What thread are you on, cantsleep?! confused

sepa Sun 10-Jul-16 22:44:21

<< ravioli op said it

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:48:31

I was outside watching my 8 y/o play out the front. My other NDN (not the cat side, the other side) came over.

She launched into a long tirade about how her 4 y/o was driving her mad, she thought he had ADHD, behavioural issues, etc. His teachers apparently tell her "he's been lovely at school today!" but she tells them, "No he hasn't, look at him, he's a little nightmare"... All this.

Then she suddenly said, "I don't know whether to tell you this, and I'm still happy for our kids to play together... But, last week, [her 4 y/o] told me that [my 8 y/o] said you suck his willy."

So she said that her son told her, that MY son told HIM, that I suck his (my son's) willy.

I obviously don't, and I don't think that my son has any concept of what willy-sucking is. He hasn't seen adult films, or anything where it would be mentioned.

I took my son inside and asked him about it, and he said that he'd never said anything like that, to anyone.

I haven't spoken to her about it since then -- I don't know what to say. She's one of those people who seem really friendly on the outside, but ask you personal questions, and talk a LOT at you, and I can't work her out.

Ages ago, last year, her mum came round when I wasn't here, and asked if we'd reported them (the NDN and her DP) to the social services (!!) because they'd been having HUGE rows. We hadn't, but apparently someone had. I wonder if this weird accusation came on the back of this..? That she thinks we've reported term so she's building a case against us..??? I don't know, I've never encountered anything like this before.

My son isn't being abused in any way, I've asked him a million times if anyone is talking to him about willies, etc, and he always says no.

Maybe her son made it up? But I don't know how a 4 y/o knows about willy sucking, so maybe she made it up?

I've just told DH we need to move.

ThomasRichard Sun 10-Jul-16 22:48:50

Keep the cat, report your neighbours.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 10-Jul-16 22:55:01

That weird conversation happened about 2 months ago. I've just avoided her since then.

I hear her being all gentle-voiced to her kids outside, all, "Please don't do that, please be good, thank you, that's lovely," etc. Then when they are all inside, it's full-on shouting and swearing. Her 4 y/o cries EVERY night at bedtime. Real yelling. I hear his Dad shouting, "Just stay in your bloody room and go to sleep!"

I've no idea what's really going on. I've heard him swear at his dad, "I hate you Daddy, you're a fucking cunt." That was in front of the mum, and she just said "Don't talk like that, please, darling." (Probably because I was walking past; if I hadn't been there, I don't know if she'd have said anything. She didn't sound truly bothered.)

hoppityhip Sun 10-Jul-16 23:02:49

Please move OP this whole situation sounds awful! And please take the cat with you.

I'm in a similar situation with a cat when I spoke to the owner she told me he hasn't been home in 3 month because she also has 3 dogs and 2 other cats in a tiny town centre flat. I already have a male cat so don't particularly want another one but I feel so bad for this little guy who is so friendly and practically lives in my garden and sits on my step in the rain. If he's still here come winter and she makes no effort to look after him I'll have to do something about it confused

I'd keep it

I don't think the state of their house/garden is entirely irrelevant tbh, especially when you go on to describe their behaviour towards your DH. Kind of gives an overall impression of the kind of people they are (not the council bit, that doesn't tell you anything)

thecatneuterer Sun 10-Jul-16 23:48:42

Keep the cat and of course make sure it's neutered. And move.

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