Really disappointed in DS's Yr 6 teacher...

(282 Posts)
usernamesarenotimportant Fri 08-Jul-16 23:57:49

I'm probably going to get a lot of YABU but that's ok. I just want to rant a bit.

It is DS's Birthday so he brought in some sweets like all the kids do. However there is a child who has been really nasty to DS throughout the whole year (violently). To the point that DS had to be educated at home for a month. It's all a very long story. He absolutely didn't want to give this boy a sweet. I assumed he wouldn't have to? His teacher said he wouldn't be allowed to give his sweets out if he wasn't going to give to all the children. My DS said that he wouldn't give the sweets out. I thought that was fair enough. But then his teacher seemed to pester him about how that wasn't really fair as the class had got excited about getting sweets and he had taken that away from them. DS said he would give them the sweets outside of the school gates so she confiscated them and said he won't be and that "considering the year he has had, she is surprised by the way he is deciding to treat somebody" no. no. no. no! that's really unreasonable in my opinion, this isn't some poor little boy who my DS is deciding to exclude, this is the child that violently attacked my son many times throughout the year and couldn't give a shit about it as he kept doing it repeatedly. She also wouldn't let him hand out his part invites in her classroom as he was the only boy not invited... But also wouldn't give him the invites back (they have to give them to the teacher at the start of the day). I'm just absolutely appalled. Is it me, or is this not exactly fair?

ShellyF Sat 09-Jul-16 00:03:40

We have same rules with sweets etc...all or nobody. If that doesn't suit then parents and children they can give sweets/invitations and whatever else.

ShellyF Sat 09-Jul-16 00:04:35

So...he should have been given his things back to distribute off site.

Marmaladeday Sat 09-Jul-16 00:05:00

You cannot seriously expect a teacher to collude in excluding a child.
Whatever your reasons are she looks after the entire class and should not be expected to take part in leaving someone out. What if it was your child that she had helped leave out? I bet you would not feel the same way then.

Wolfiefan Sat 09-Jul-16 00:06:13

I understand your child doesn't want to give this child a party invite. But sweets for the whole class. Include the whole class. Party invites. Why invite everyone but this child? Is he really friends with them all? The school can't allow this child to be left out based on past behaviour.

usernamesarenotimportant Sat 09-Jul-16 00:06:50

That wasn't the issue though, DS said he won't hand them out. It's the pestering and the comments and then not giving them back. Also, my son wouldn't violently keep hurting someone, if he had done that all year, I'd ask the teacher to leave him out, as it's a lesson to learn.

Haggisfish Sat 09-Jul-16 00:06:54

Presumably, though, the school have been less than supportive throughout the year so why would you think this would be any different? The sweets I think is fair enough, sorry. You can't take sweets in and then give to everyone in class but one child. Invitations-if you invite everyone else but one child I would not have asked school to put invitations in bag tbh.

LouBlue1507 Sat 09-Jul-16 00:07:09

I think the teacher did the right thing IMO... She has to stay neutral and keep things fair for everybody whilst children are in school... The teacher cannot allow the bully to be excluded.

I understand why your son wants nothing to do with him, I wouldn't either. But sharing invites and sweets needs to be done outside of school.

springwaters Sat 09-Jul-16 00:07:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Haggisfish Sat 09-Jul-16 00:07:46

Similarly, I think it would surely do your son more harm in terms of the other kids to get them all excited about sweets and them not give them out?

Arkwright Sat 09-Jul-16 00:08:46

You can't expect the teacher to exclude a child from a treat. It's the whole class or not at all.

usernamesarenotimportant Sat 09-Jul-16 00:09:20

Hang on a minute... I've already said it isn't the leaving out! Wow, I thought I might get a IABU, but not be called a news reporter or troll... Nevermind.

usernamesarenotimportant Sat 09-Jul-16 00:09:47

No, it ISN'T the leaving out that is the problem...

Beeziekn33ze Sat 09-Jul-16 00:14:26

The sweets and invitations were your DS's property, she shouldn't have kept them. Y6 kids normally sort out invitations themselves, often verbal. I'm puzzled teacher was involved like that with 11 year olds. Will they all be at different schools in September?

WorraLiberty Sat 09-Jul-16 00:16:31

Sorry but if your child is going to use the school as a platform to give out either sweets or invitations, they'll have to stick to the rules.

Teachers cant be seen to be colluding in leaving children out for any reason.

Best to do these things outside of the classroom in future.

springwaters Sat 09-Jul-16 00:16:57

Today one of the best teachers that I know announced that she is leaving teaching.

She is an outstanding teacher.

It was totally due to the unrealistic expectations of parents.

This is a classic example. There is a teacher shortage and part of it lies with the totally unrealistic and demanding parental expectation

For once - why cant w shave a mumsnet thread praising teachers rather than slagging then]m off

Of course I know that as you one went to school you are of course an expert and entitled have a view about teaching- because of course you are an expert.

Please feel free to step in and teach the class when the teacher resigns due to to total carp that she gets from parents like you

I don't know what you do as a profession but I am sure that your clients would not post on here about how crap you were,

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sat 09-Jul-16 00:17:06

I get your son's point if course. I do. However even if the teacher was in agreement with him. She could not have allowed the child in question to be left out.
Ofsted are absolutely boiling hot on inclusion. If the mother made a complaint. The school could have found themselves seriously in deep water.
Imagine if it were your son excluded. You'd be fuming. Well I would be if it were my dd. No matter what she'd done.

KissMyArse Sat 09-Jul-16 00:17:25

The teacher was unreasonable not to give the sweets and invitations back (ask for them, I'm sure she will return them).

Very shitty to leave out one child from both though, even though they've been a bully. Should have thought that one through before doing it tbh.

Haggisfish Sat 09-Jul-16 00:17:26

I would expect her to give you the sweets and invitations back though.

arethereanyleftatall Sat 09-Jul-16 00:17:33

What your son, and you, wanted to do was spiteful.
He could have just invited his friends to his party, rather than purposely inviting all bar one, purely to goad.
Similarly the sweets. Didn't have to be given out at all. But he/you wanted to, just to prove a point.

kali110 Sat 09-Jul-16 00:17:44

She should have given them back to son so he could hand them
Out after school.
I don't blame you for not inviting him to the party.
Hope your son is doing better.

MachiKoro Sat 09-Jul-16 00:22:57

You really cannot exclude a child from whole-class birthday sweets. That's terrible behaviour.
I appreciate you wouldn't want to invite that child to the party, that's completely fine.

usernamesarenotimportant Sat 09-Jul-16 00:23:35

I think some of you are being a bit quick to jump on me, I have already said that the not handing them out wasn't an issue. However, to say you'd be fuming if your kid didn't get a party invite no matter what they had done, are you joking? Did you honestly expect my son to invite him? I'm surprised that you'd be fuming that the kid your some numerously attacked didn't invite them. My son is very close to everyone else yes, as it's a very small, 1 intake class school.

I wasn't doing anything to get back at anyone, thank you. It's the way the kids do it at school, they all bring in sweets and invites for the teacher to hand out.

It was the comments I was a bit annoyed at.

BackforGood Sat 09-Jul-16 00:25:00

Yup. YABVU

LouBlue1507 Sat 09-Jul-16 00:26:30

In an ideal world the teacher would have asked to speak to you at the end of the day, handed the sweets and invites to you and explained why she couldn't allow it to happen during school...

BUT at the end of the day she is human and nobody handles situations perfectly! Teaching is a bloody damn hard job, especially year 6!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now