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AIBU?

to think it's not odd my baby wakes up at night?

230 replies

hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:38

DS is 4 months old, EBF. He goes down for the night between 6 and 630 (early I know but he just can't stay awake past that) and is up for the day around 6am, sometimes 5.30. During the night he wakes (to feed) at approximately 10, 2 and 4. I have tried resettling him without feeding at the 2am feed (dummy, white noise etc) but he won't have it and it's just easier to feed him peacefully and have him go straight back to sleep tbh.

My NCT group look at me like this Shock when I tell them how much he wakes up and say stuff like oh sorry you have such a dreadful sleeper. Their babies either sleep through or only wake up once apparently.

Don't get me wrong as I would love it if he slept through obviously but I really thought this was quite normal for babies??

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WellErrr · 08/07/2016 06:39

Yes, it's normal!

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WutheringFrights · 08/07/2016 06:40

Perfectly normal, DS didn't sleep longer than an hour until he was 7 months old...now at 3 he sleeps 11 hours at night (and another 2 during the day if I'm lucky!)

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MiniCooperLover · 08/07/2016 06:40

Definitely normal, he's only 4 months old.

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kiwiscantfly · 08/07/2016 06:40

Ignore ignore ignore, they are fudging the truth! I fully expect our 3rd DC coming in a few weeks to be like that just as my other two were. Keep up the good work!

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hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:42

people always say oh is he sleeping through yet and I always want to reply no, he's a baby ffs and can't you see the bags under my eyes

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Juanbablo · 08/07/2016 06:43

That's normal. He's only 4 months. All 3 of mine have "slept through" at different ages. Dc3 woke 2 hourly for 6 months then at least twice a night until he was a year old.

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TheOddity · 08/07/2016 06:44

I will never understand why people lie about this shit at nct groups. Just do what they obviously do and say he sleeps great. Saves the anguish. And by the way, he is sleeping well if you can get him back to sleep after a feed. That to me is success!!😉

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Luckystar1 · 08/07/2016 06:44

Totally normal!! This sleep chat eventually goes away, it moves on to something else, but always with the 'best' mother crowing the loudest...!

You're doing a great job, try and catch up on sleep when you can if possible, I started to really burn out at 5 months (and didn't get a full night's sleep even once until 12 months so it was a killer!)

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hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:46

oddity he hardly ever cries or gets upset in the night (unless I deny him boob), he literally feeds for 6/7 minutes and goes back to sleep...

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NotBadConsidering · 08/07/2016 06:46

Completely normal. Your NCT group are outside of the norm, on the better side, lucky for them. If they don't appreciate that your baby is the norm, they'll be the sort to completely freak and not cope when their next child comes along and is just like yours.

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hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:46

So it's not too bad really but my sleep is still fragmented so I'm pretty knackered.

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branofthemist · 08/07/2016 06:46

That was a good night for my two. Totally normal. Dbro had a baby that slept through early and him and sil held it up as proof they were uber parents. I do think some people think it's their achievement.

Dbro soon realised he was talking crap when the baby stopped sleeping through at 6 months.

I did work at pushing ds Back is bedtime as he always wanted to go to sleep early. I couldn't get up at 5 everyday.

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hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:48

I expect as he gets older and can handle more awake time between naps his bedtime will get a bit later. For now I can live with the 5.30am wake ups as I go to bed about 8 some nights

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Yokebe · 08/07/2016 06:49

My DD woke at 10,2,4,6 EVERY night for 2 whole years. Every single night. I cried, she cried!
I chose to BF her & co-sleep, so I guess she knew I was a constant source of food,
weve stopped the BF but still co-sleep.
Currently hanging out of the bed drinking my tea while shes sprawled like a starfish Hmm snoring.

So yes, its perfectly normal!

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hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:53

When he hits six months and I know he's physically capable of going longer without food I'll probably make a more sustained attempt at resettling him without feeding. For now I can live with it.

I've tried co sleeping a few times but tbh I don't get any more sleep that way - if anything I get less!!

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TurquoiseDress · 08/07/2016 06:54

Your baby sounds totally normal!

I never signed up for NCT (just didn't feel it was my thumb plus £££)...these baby groups can really make you feel like you're doing a bad job or your child is somehow abnormal.

When our LO was tiny, my husband would annoy me by mentioning that so and so's baby sleeps through and they are 3 weeks old, what's wrong with our baby? Grrrr!

Honestly, sounds like you're doing a great job.

I'd second the trying to catch up with sleep thing, if not the burnout thing can feel v real & painful!

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PhloppysFonics · 08/07/2016 06:56

Perhaps the other babies are formula fed? Or they're going to bed much later? That can make a difference. Your baby is totally normal.

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MyBreadIsEggy · 08/07/2016 06:59

Your baby is normal Smile
And you NCT friends are probably liars 👍🏻

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Rinceoir · 08/07/2016 07:05

Of course it's normal. I'm surprised they all sleep through- at any baby groups I went to lack of sleep was the main subject of discussion. I was the opposite, my DD slept 10-8 at that age and I kept quiet about it because everyone else seemed to be up hourly.

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percythepenguin · 08/07/2016 07:07

Totally normal! Although my baby was either sleeping through or only waking once at night from about 6 weeks until he was 4 months, I was Blush telling people at a baby group I went to and I'm sure they thought I was lying! It all changed at around 4 months though, just as everyone else's babies started to sleep better DS suddenly started waking 5 times a night, he's 8 months now and still waking 3 and 4 times most nights!

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nutbrownhare15 · 08/07/2016 07:09

Totally normal. 11 months in here and 1-3 feeds a night. She just wants a feed and goes straight back to sleep so I just go with it. I know of several mums who have already night weaned but that just means resettling baby when they wake up is harder! Parents of 'good sleepers' I knew at Ncr and elsewhere often got a shock at 6 and 8-9 months when the night waking started up. At least I.was used to it! 😁 Nct groups can be great but also.isolating if you feel like the odd one out.

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Witchend · 08/07/2016 07:10

I don't think it's helpful to tell op the test of her group are liars.
Of my dc one slept 12 hours through the night at 8 weeks and almost never woke again at night. 2-3 hours during the say too.
My second ended up with medised at 18 months because she was still waking every 2 hours.
Both were ebf and I did exactly the same with them. It's luck of the draw.

I think the average age to sleep through is 6 months, so at 4 months you would expect some to be, some not to be. I would think still waking3 times is probably on the worse side of average, but not unusual.

It also depends on what you think of as sleeping through. One person I knew defined sleeping through as midnight to 6am. Dd1 did that from birth so I don't count that as sleeping through. Someone else I knew counted it as 7pm till 7 am, which I don't think dd2 ever did.

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trilbydoll · 08/07/2016 07:10

At 4m mine both woke hourly. I suspect your nct group is a mix of genuine good sleepers and people who think sleep is a reflection on their parenting and are lying!

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ExtraHotLatteToGo · 08/07/2016 07:12

Calling people liars is so nasty. Lots of babies do sleep though, lots of babies don't. Both are 'normal' at 4 months.

However, if it was me I'd be trying to settle instead of feed at 4am if the baby is up at 5:30/6 anyway. The 4am waking could be more due to change in light than needing a feed 2 hours after the previous one.

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toptomatoes · 08/07/2016 07:12

I have a friend who said her DC slept through while mine still woke several times for a feed. It turned out (years later!) that her baby actually woke lots to have its dummy put back in but that still counted as sleeping through the night as it didn't have milk...

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