WIBU to ask for an eternity ring?

(147 Posts)
Itsaplayonwords Thu 07-Jul-16 22:46:09

My DH and I had talked about how an eternity ring is usually given at the birth of your first child, however I told him not to buy me one at that time as we had spent a lot of money on our wedding (DD1 was a honeymoon baby) and the money was better used for baby things than on jewellery. It's my 30th birthday at the end of the year and I'd really like an eternity ring. DH would be spending money on a present for me anyway and there's nothing else I really want, but it's not the sort of thing you usually ask for. I know as well that if I did ask and he'd already planned to get me one, or something similar, then he'd feel as though I'd spoilt the surprise.

Should I ask or not?

acasualobserver Thu 07-Jul-16 22:49:24

Of course you should ask. YOLO, as the young folk say.

BlueFolly Thu 07-Jul-16 22:49:47

I think you should. Why not.

Cabrinha Thu 07-Jul-16 22:51:18

I think the time for an eternity ring is when you decide to start trying for a child! Not after it arrives. But that's me smile
Actually - I think they're pretty random anyway - if my husband gave me an eternity ring I'd wave my wedding band and ask him what that was, then!

I don't see any reason why you wouldn't ask for one - don't see why it isn't the sort of thing you ask for.
If he was planning it (do you really think he is?) then it would be pretty childish for him to be bothered about spoilt surprises.

You could tell him there's something you'd like, if he needs an idea. If he's already planning the eternity ring and he already knew you wanted one, then he'll say he doesn't need any ideas.

MoonlightandMusic Thu 07-Jul-16 22:51:43

Well, unless you specify exactly how it should look down to the last detail then YABU and should mention you'd love one. Doesn't mean he has to buy one, but does give him an idea for your birthday without needing to spoil any surprise (unless you decide internally that he'll definitely buy it now you mentioned it and actually, he doesn't).

Ivorbig1 Thu 07-Jul-16 22:51:45

Leave pictures of rings you like around the house to avoid getting one you don't love.

jmh740 Thu 07-Jul-16 22:53:11

I think you should ask. I asked for mine we didn't have to money when ds was born but oh won some money just before our first anniversary so I asked for a ring as a present.
If he has planned a ring asking as you don't choose it yourself it will still be a surprise.

BananaL0af Thu 07-Jul-16 22:53:54

It's exactly the thing I asked for, for my 30th too. Yes you should tell your DH an eternity ring is what you'd like for your significant birthday.

Euripidesralph Thu 07-Jul-16 22:54:05

I personally think it's each to their own with eternity rings ....dh gave me mine when I had ds2 because we knew we were done having children ....it felt right for us then

I suppose I did ask for it but it was more a conversation where we agreed than anything else

I say ask....he may have just not considered it and be over the moon you want it now

PassiveAgressiveQueen Thu 07-Jul-16 22:54:15

How can anyone leave the purchase of a ring as expensive as an eternity ring in the sole hands of their partner?
You will be wearing this ring every day for the rest of your life, sod surprises i want to know I like it.

peachpudding Thu 07-Jul-16 22:56:08

Anyone think something like saving for university might be more important?

RipeningApples Thu 07-Jul-16 22:56:23

I got mine for our 10th wedding anniversary.

Cabrinha Thu 07-Jul-16 22:56:42

I'm LOL at the advice to leave pictures of rings lying around. Do people really do that?! Do people not just say "if you want an idea for my birthday present, I'd love an eternity ring - we could make a trip of looking together, have lunch out etc?"

PrincessWizard Thu 07-Jul-16 22:57:04

DH bought my eternity ring for my 30th, it was the only thing i wanted and we already had DD1 and DS by the time we got married so no traditional timeline for us.

It wasn't an expensive one but i love it.

Snowflakes1122 Thu 07-Jul-16 22:59:17

I wouldn't try dropping hints. Some men wouldn't pick up on obvious hints. Tell him it's what you'd like!

Itsaplayonwords Thu 07-Jul-16 23:00:51

Ah okay, so it's not as weird as I thought! We've just had DD2 and that's it for us (so we plan anyway) so it also seems right in that respect like Euripides said.

Peachpudding DH would be spending money on a present for me anyway so it's not like it's money that would be earmarked for university.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Thu 07-Jul-16 23:01:37

I'd ask smile

Fomalhaut Thu 07-Jul-16 23:12:06

Just ask! Dh just got me one for my birthday/anniversary/birth of our son. I'd said I'd like one (with no demand of course! ) and we picked one smile

Pinkheart5915 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:21:51

Nothing wrong with saying I'd like an eternity ring. It's only rude to ask if you demand, give strict instructions about how it should look to the absolute very last detail, how much he should spend etc.

Dh bought one for me and gave me the night ds was born, it's a lovely thing

Headofthehive55 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:25:31

My DH git me one for each child...

Ilovetorrentialrain Thu 07-Jul-16 23:29:26

If your really want it I'd say ask to be on the safe side. By the way I don't know a single person with an eternity ring who has got one without either asking blatantly or dropping huge hints. I don't think a man would just know without being told explicitly.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 07-Jul-16 23:32:08

My boyfriend gave me an eternity ring for Christmas when we'd only been seeing each other for six months. Is that wierd?

He's been my dh for ten years so it did work out.

Sparklesilverglitter Thu 07-Jul-16 23:36:50

It's fine to mention you'd like one. As pp say it's only a bit rude if you tell him what you want to the last detail.

My DH got me one a few years back, we had walked past a shop and I'd said ooh those eternity rings are nice just in passing really and on my next birthday I got one.

Ilovetorrentialrain Thu 07-Jul-16 23:45:07

MsAdorabelle not weird! lovely!

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 07-Jul-16 23:46:11

Oh good. I've still got the ring. grin

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