To think this is ridiculous?

(20 Posts)
AShadowLurkingInTheShadows Tue 05-Jul-16 14:43:14

DP has had to pick up the load at work because his fellow employer has had to go home because his DP has threatened to call 999.... Because the kids are sick and so is she and she can't cope with them, they have a cold. This is about the 5th time this year when he's been called home because the kids are ill and doesn't want to look after them.

He's continuously picking up his share of the work because he either doesn't do it or has to go home. As I said this isn't the first time there have been plenty of them (can't go shopping because she has the kids, can't go to the vets because she has the kids, can't go to this place because she has the kids)

DP is run ragged and exhausted but nothing will be done no matter who complains about it. AWBU to think this is unfair and ridiculous to expect to be able to just up and leave work and let everyone else pick up the slack?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 16:05:43

What does his manager say?
Why can't your dp just say " I will try and fit in a bit of other workers stuff, if there is time after I finish my own"

emilybrontescorset Tue 05-Jul-16 16:13:12

I don't think your dp should be doing his co workers work on a regular basis.

As for the co worker perhaps he/she should be looking for a less demanding, less hours job.

Babyroobs Tue 05-Jul-16 16:56:49

I have a colleaugue who is like this but with her 4 grown up daughters. Every time one of the daughters goes into labour ( even very early stages), or one of the grandkids is ill or there is any manner of other family crisis she leaves work even in the middle of a nightshift leaving everyone else to cope on reduced staff. I wouldn't mind but 3 out of 4 of the daughters have partners yet it is always her who is the one they can't manage without !

Mummybumpplus2 Tue 05-Jul-16 17:09:27

This happens to my hubby, it seems that the others are always off sick or somthing and he has to do there work which is more front desk than his which is more behind the scenes. The problem i have is that my hubby gets bonuses for certain things which we rely on as its not a great wage otherwise, but the last 2 months he has been unable to reach the targets as he has been doing these other peoples jobs, where as normally he hits the target every month, so his wage has been 400 per month down for the last 2 months, which has made life really really hard for us and he has been working more hours to cover, its completely unfair so i feel your pain

attheendoftheday Tue 05-Jul-16 17:17:00

I think that you don't know the family's situation so you can't judge. Perhaps she has a chronic illness or the kids have additional needs that mean she does need the oher parent's help.

Your issue should be with the management, not with the other employee.

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows Tue 05-Jul-16 18:44:12

The manager says nothing they're related 😒😒

Dp can't say no he'll get in trouble for saying no they all just expect him to pick up the slack

I do know them that's the thing. No additional needs no chronic illness. This is the woman that had a section because it was the easy way. Threatened to take his card and stay in a hotel because her dog poo'd on the floor and she wasn't picking it up so if he didn't come home right now she'd be gone. My issue is with him because he should say don't be so ridiculous 999 aren't going to care you have a cold and stay and do his job!

mrsfuzzy Tue 05-Jul-16 19:40:24

when the fuck was a c section an 'easy way' ???? i've had 6 they're bloody difficult.

mrsfuzzy Tue 05-Jul-16 19:42:29

sorry, rant over, if the manager is related, can your dh take it up with h.r ? the woman concerned sounds bit of a fruit loop, call 999 over dog mess ??

AyeAmarok Tue 05-Jul-16 19:43:50

Em, you are managing to make yourself sound unreasonable, somehow!

Griphook Tue 05-Jul-16 19:44:52

Easy way!! Having your stomach cut open! Not being able to move, or lift. And unless she has a spare £40000 and paid for it she must ha r had a medical reason.

But all that aside, there is no EASY WAY TO GO BIRTH. It's not s competition

MLGs Tue 05-Jul-16 19:48:35

You weren't being unreasonable until you referred to someone having their stomach cut open as the easy way!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 05-Jul-16 19:49:40

This is the other side of those threads where women are told their partners must take time off and help them with the children when they're not well.

MLGs Tue 05-Jul-16 19:50:25

I've never had a c section but I'm pretty damn sure that's the hard way, at least for the mother.

Sorry not to address the action post (not sorry) but that just got me going.....

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows Tue 05-Jul-16 19:59:18

That is what she said! I've had two sections I know how it goes believe me with one emergency and one elective it wasnt the easy option!

I've suggested that to him I'll give him another prod. If it wasn't for the money he would of left a long time ago!

edwinbear Tue 05-Jul-16 19:59:28

OP I feel your pain. I work in a team of two, my colleague has just gone off on mat leave, there is no mat cover in place, I'm just expected to do two jobs. It's bloody unfair but one of those things where you have to suck it up or find another job.

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows Tue 05-Jul-16 20:02:10

Sorry I wasnt clear she just give me the rage! 😡😡 they expect dp to go to their wedding but have only invited "his" son as the other one "isn't technically his" 😡😡

Memoires Tue 05-Jul-16 21:04:46

Your dp needs a new job.

witsender Tue 05-Jul-16 21:17:20

You don't like her very much by the sounds of things, this may be clouding your view. If the anecdotes are true, she sounds very much like she is struggling. Obviously it isn't down to your DH to pick up the slack, but if the boss won't sort it, then he needs to look elsewhere.

My dh has taken time off on the odd occasion when I have been struggling...c'est la vie.

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows Tue 05-Jul-16 21:25:03

Would you like someone who constantly refers to your son's as "dp's son and the other one" Will only invite "dp's son because the other one really isn't yours is he so it doesn't matter" I doubt it!

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