someone stop me from being U please

(26 Posts)
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 01:01:37

It's a fb one (I know)

I had a joke with a friend. He replied in a jokey way.
All good so far.

His little sister sticks her nose in. Calls me names. Makes several incorrect statements. Mentions manners...

Then a random backs her up...

I have messaged the random. Explained the joke. Pointed out a couple of large facts..

Someone remind me please... it won't do any good pointing out the height of bad manners is to stick your nose in tone private conversation.

I know nothing is private on fb...

Join me in laughing at her idiocy?
Remind me she isn't worth the time.
Remind me not to bother with fb unless it tells me my parents have posted. Or my brother.

whatamockerywemake Tue 05-Jul-16 01:04:31

Don't bother with FB

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 01:19:23

Generally, I don't.

But until my little brother got a phone today, it was the only contact I had with him.

Somerville Tue 05-Jul-16 01:26:30

Sorry, I'd be a hypocrite to drop you, I responded to something like this on FB today when I should have risen above it...

I did type and delete about 20 responses before I hit one one that was passively aggressive enough to come over as kidding around to anyone who didn't think about it too deeply.

But now awake worrying about it.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 01:28:06

Same here.
Awake and half annoyed. Half thinking it's funny how she is so wrong.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 01:30:46

I keep going over p-a replies..
But I know this woman has mental health issues. If I told her the truth, she would probably end up being admitted. Again.
Which might mean she stops slagging people off on fb for a few weeks...

Somerville Tue 05-Jul-16 01:31:16

Mine was over something really immature - Harry Potter! But painful history with the person in the wrong. I should have just let it go, though.

Somerville Tue 05-Jul-16 01:31:46

Let it go then. Seriously.

LordyMe Tue 05-Jul-16 01:38:30

Block, sort out your privacy and move on.

Facebook drama is a complete waste of time and energy.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 05-Jul-16 01:51:22

Leave it to her brother to deal with it, and explain. Maybe suggest she PMs her brother about it if she hasn't already.
Back away.

I kind of did this the other day, except it wasn't a "private conversation" as such - a good friend posted a meme, tagged one of her friends; I disagreed with the content of the meme and good friend explained that it was a specific "thing" with the tagged friend, so I said sorry, all good.
Then tagged friend posted a VERY humphy post, which I didn't bother to respond to as my friend and I had sorted it out between us. On the page, there for all to read - no secrecy - but tagged friend either hadn't read those comments or chose to ignore and get humphy instead.

Not worth deleting anything, just let it go and let them have their hump about it.

GarlicStake Tue 05-Jul-16 02:05:36

I sometimes pick people up on sexist 'jokes' that weren't intended for me. I'm getting better at just walking away or hiding the post, but sometimes I feel I have to save the world, one facebook post at a time blush

They sometimes get cross, and probably have ratty conversations about me in private. Don't worry about it, OP, it's just one of the glitches associated with living our lives in virtual public.

ShtoppenDerFloppen Tue 05-Jul-16 03:54:53

Randoms don't matter. Do not engage.

Lunar1 Tue 05-Jul-16 04:32:56

What was the original joke? Maybe your friend didn't really find it funny and his sister called you on it.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 07:49:42

It was a personal joke.
Not sexist
Nor racist
Nor ageist
Nor any other ist

Just a personal comment, passed between 2 consenting adults having a hug.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 07:57:24

The comment

No, babe. I will only ignore you when I'm dead.

My joke..
Are you ignoring me because you are dead?

His reply

I haven't checked!
Either I am dead or my phone is...

Followed on by a whole load of verbal.

I know to ignore the girl's crap. She can't cope with reality. MH issues. I don't bite. I don't wind her up.

But the bloke. He got to me. "Yeah. Mate is wonderful and so hard working and looks after his wonderful family. You should be ashamed at asking why he has ignored you for several months"

Pointed out a few things to random bloke about extended family. Broken contracts.

whois Tue 05-Jul-16 08:02:10

Is it on your timeline?

Delete both their comments. Unfriend the sister. Change your setting so only friends (not friends of friends) can post.

RJnomore1 Tue 05-Jul-16 08:11:51

Pointed out what to who?

God

This is why I don't do FB - what a waste of emotion and energy

You need to step away. This does not sound healthy. Why are you pointing out things about a friends family because someone says what a good bloke he is? Is there a deeper dynamic here?

Trills Tue 05-Jul-16 08:15:57

I assume this person is your brother's friend, not your friend.

If she is your friend, unfriend her.

If she is your brother's friend, consider sending him private messages in future and reserve public posts for things that you don't mind his friends seeing and commenting on.

FeckArseIndustries Tue 05-Jul-16 08:47:37

Maybe they thought there was something going on between you, or that you were flirting, and they were concerned for their friend's marriage/children?

Maybe send him a PM next time, or a text. FB does mean everyone's invited to the conversation, whether they understand the context of it or not, so it's probably not the best place for something which could be badly misinterpreted. Don't worry about the randoms, I'm sure they meant well.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 05-Jul-16 09:00:11

Trills - wrong brother! It's the OP's friend and his sister. And then another random person, who could be anyone's friend, but presumably is the OP's friend's friend. <mops brow>

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 09:01:05

I used to send a pm until fb changed the messages thing and wanted my whole life history to install messenger.

I do need to check my settings. They should be "friends only".
Have been since I signed up to the thing.

Yes, there is more going on, but trying to keep a bit of privacy.
I had tens of texts ignored/not delivered so tried to contact him on fb.

The whole thread got deleted as soon as I saw Queen-bitch had commented. (Not her real name, but it suits her)

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 05-Jul-16 09:05:52

For clarity...

My lying friend.
His unstable sister. (Honest fact, no bitching)
Random Is friend of my friend.

My brother did get a mention, nothing to do with that thread, but as the reason for keeping fb as it was the contact I had with him until he got a mobile.

And I have never been friends with queen bitch. Never will be.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 05-Jul-16 09:10:24

If you either posted on his wall or tagged him, it'll be visible to his friends too - or possibly friends of his friends, depending on his settings - so it's probable that the random is his friend.

Someone remind me please... it won't do any good pointing out the height of bad manners is to stick your nose in tone private conversation.

That's not how Facebook works, unfortunately. It's all public, and people will reply to anything they see. If you want private conversations, it's Messenger or taking it off Facebook - if he's only contactable on Facebook, I'd just comment asking him to get in touch or something when you need to speak to him, or prepare that his friends will probably get involved.

It sounds like there is a lot going on between you all. Maybe you should block her, at least, because then you won't see her replies.

Overall, though, whilst it's understandable, it is completley unreasonable to expect any level of privacy if you're having conversations publicly on Facebook.

FeckArseIndustries Tue 05-Jul-16 09:28:35

So he's ignored loads of texts/messages (or they've been "not delivered"), and if you PM him it's also ignored? So the only way you can get a response is to post publically on his wall and call him out for ignoring you, so then he has to respond and say "no I'd never do that"? Why on earth are you still messaging him? He isn't your friend. Just block all of them and move on.

Trills Wed 06-Jul-16 08:16:05

Sorry - wrong brother.

Same point applies though - if you want to have a conversation with someone and not have their friends/family joining in, put it somewhere that their friends can't see.

It's not your fault that they have annoying friends and family, but you can take steps to avoid them.

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