What unreasonable things do you wish you could do but know you can't?

(76 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Mon 04-Jul-16 14:01:58

My toddler is napping, we've had a lot of sleep issues lately and him napping is a huge achievement, and the three children who live next door are out in the garden and they are playing and screaming at the top of their voices!!! Their garden is below my DS's bedroom.

I really want to go and tell them all to STFU but thankfully I know I'd be really unreasonable to do so grin

ShotsFired Mon 04-Jul-16 14:04:36

Fit a snow plough attachment to my car so I can shove people out of my way when the perfectly routine changing of the traffic lights to green flabbergasts them so much they can't think what they should do next.

MOVE. NOW.

LouBlue1507 Mon 04-Jul-16 14:05:23

I live in a ground floor flat with my partner and I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant! Our LL is still converting the rest of the building and he turns up at 7am with his power tools (I swear it's a jackhammer!) and wakes me up! angry I know I'm being unreasonable but I just want to shove his drill up his arse and tell him to fuck off, I want to sleep in peace!

Writerwannabe83 Mon 04-Jul-16 14:05:34

grin grin grin

NeedACleverNN Mon 04-Jul-16 14:10:00

I dunno...I did an unreasonable thing today that I probably shouldn't have done blush

An idiot driving his car decided to take a corner at speed and go drifting right where my daughters pre-school is. There is also a grammar school near that corner too.

It was lunchtime so all the kids were out of the grammar school and the pre-school children were being let out. We was walking away from the building when I heard the tyres screech and his engine start roaring as he carried on. So I stuck my middle finger up at him. And made it bloody clear. Got a finger and few choice words back but at the time I was furious. What if a child had ran into the road? No way he would have stopped in time

Would report but didn't get a license plate as he was going that fast

maggiethemagpie Mon 04-Jul-16 14:12:23

My super power would be to be able to eat what I wanted without consequence. As a fat child and a diabetic adult, I've never had this freedom.

Arkengarthdale Mon 04-Jul-16 14:13:50

Make lives absolute hell for the people who bullied me out of a job I loved. Make them struggle financially like I have to confused

Buggers Mon 04-Jul-16 14:15:47

need that's awful!! What is wrong with people! I'd be furious as well. Any cctv on the corner he did it on?

NeedACleverNN Mon 04-Jul-16 14:17:50

No don't think so. Not that I could see anyway. Bloody idiot. Was only a young driver aswell so the novelty was in force for him. Had a feeling he was off on a race somewhere because when I got to the main road, another car with two young drivers drove past me at speed

ghostyslovesheep Mon 04-Jul-16 14:24:48

chase down everyone who drives badly - especially those with no lane discipline and people who don't indicate

Also deflate the tires of people who can't bloody well park in a straight line in the bay - I hate parking then not being able to get out because some twat has parked at an angle

chunkymum1 Mon 04-Jul-16 14:26:59

Our doctors surgery is quite near to the local secondary school. For a number of reasons I have needed to take DS there a lot over the last year or so. To avoid too much time off school, we have an after school appointment which means driving down the main road outside the secondary school just as the pupils are all coming out, then turning into another road that lots of the pupils also cross.

Every single time swarms of them cross both roads seemingly without caring whether traffic is coming. On more than one occasion I have had to stop the car part way on the the second road as they have stepped out in front of me- only to have more step out behind and around so we are surrounded until they have all left.

Being a parent and generally kind individual, and knowing to expect them to pay no attention to traffic, I am always ready to stop when I am in this area and assume that they are just thoughtless and teenage rather than out to get me. As such I never do more than a headshake/glare.

Part of me would like to rev the engine boy racer style, drive up to them as fast as I dare and only stop at the last minute, wind the window down and point out to them that I am the one on the large metal box so they should get out of my way or possibly even get out scream. This part of me gets closer to making itself known when we are already running late, DC is particularly unwell and it's the third bloody time that week.

SteviebunsBottrittrundle Mon 04-Jul-16 14:36:43

I am doing it right now; sitting on my fat back side watching Judge Judy, eating my almond Magnums and generally feeling sorry for myself. I've got a stinker of a cold and so does my toddler who is napping. I badly need to tidy up the house, make a start on dinner prep or do anything remotely constructive before the toddler wakes up. And I seriously need to put down the Magnum--s--.

HazelBite Mon 04-Jul-16 14:47:02

I wish I could just walk out of work today with a "you know I said I was retiring in January, sorry but I've decided I need to go today"

Oysterbabe Mon 04-Jul-16 15:17:59

Quit my job and be a SAHM. I can't, we can't afford it. I've just emailed them to start discussing my return from maternity leave. It's so, so depressing.

KayTee87 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:20:25

Really wish I could tell people to stop parking right outside my house as its really annoying. Totally unreasonable as they're not blocking the driveway and are perfectly entitled to park there but it just really annoys me blush

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Mon 04-Jul-16 15:38:25

Im not going to go into details, but I did something really unreasonable last week and now feel really really bad for it. Im never ever ever doing that again ever!!!!

EmmaWoodlouse Mon 04-Jul-16 15:45:59

I sometimes wish it was OK to kick pigeons when they walk really slowly in front of you.

Writerwannabe83 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:48:45

I sometimes wish it was OK to kick pigeons when they walk really slowly in front of you.

Sometimes I feel like this about people too.... grin

WeirdAndPissedOff Mon 04-Jul-16 15:49:35

Tell the people who keep asking me questions/asking me to do stuff/wondering aloud how to fix something in earshot while I'm on a tight deadline to do one.

Unreasonable as it's not their fault, part of their job and most aren't even aware of the deadline but I feel like screaming anyway!

Also, to kick the routers and servers when they're on the blink and our off-site IT company calls AGAIN asking for someone to go in and wiggle a mouse, reset a box, unplug a wire etc.

To ram my car door into the car parked 1 inch to the right of mine, after I had to climb in through the passenger side.

GiraffesAndButterflies Mon 04-Jul-16 15:55:26

Omg yes, I'd kick a pigeon, slow fuckers.

I'd also leave the house in an absolute state in the safe knowledge that when my DM comes tomorrow she would uncomplainingly tidy/clean it all up for me, assuming that I had been too busy/exhausted. Instead of being bone idle while the DC have been good as gold

I'd get that stuff from the doctor that stops your nails growing if you get an ingrown toenail. I'd put it all over DS's fingers so he has no nails and can't shred me into bits any more (he's 5mo).

GiraffesAndButterflies Mon 04-Jul-16 15:57:32

Oh and I'd feed DD cheese sandwiches forever. Her favourite food and much easier than anything else.

Birdsgottafly Mon 04-Jul-16 16:06:17

I'd like to use a flame thrower on the trampoline right behind my fence, I'm going to be in for a long summer.

I'd also use it to break the parties up that the same family have, until 4am.

I'd then use the hose to 'encourage' their yappy JRTs to go into the house.

CigarsofthePharoahs Mon 04-Jul-16 16:07:23

I'd like to get a tow truck, tow the car of the daughter of the couple who live two doors down from me and put it in a crusher. I don't think she'll ever learn to park, she just sort of points it roughly where she wants it to go and then abandons it three feet from the kerb, taking up enough space to prevent two other cars parking. She doesn't even live with her parents, but her car is here a lot.
My five year old keeps singing the first two lines of Jungle Bells. Its July for goodness sakes and it's doing my nut. What can I do? My mind is slowly being eroded by it and all manner of unreasonable things fill my head.
I wouldn't kick a pigeon but I would kick a magpie the evil sods.

EssentialHummus Mon 04-Jul-16 16:08:19

Also deflate the tires of people who can't bloody well park in a straight line in the bay - I hate parking then not being able to get out because some twat has parked at an angle

Drivers who deliberately take up two parking spaces so their pwecious Porsche/Beemer doesn't come within touching distance of any other car would return to find it thoroughly keyed if I had my way. Unfortunately I'm a solicitor and committing criminal damage is not encouraged. (I have occasionally been known to write a note with "You park like a cunt" under their wipers when time permits, however.)

Alwayschanging1 Mon 04-Jul-16 16:09:30

Kick a pigeon like its a football!

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