to just give up on contraception and sex?

[YabuDabbaDoo]

I'm too old for the combined pill (always hated being on it anyway.) Coil painful and body rejected it, too traumatic, no way am I putting myself through that again. Now in my 9th month of Depo P and have had spotting/smearing throughout, gained 20lbs and have a constant headache. Condoms, meh, they perform a function but I hate the feel of them (am latex intolerant so have to buy the pricey ones, too.) Feel so wretched that sex is infrequent and unsatisfying and my partner has stopped bothering.

AIBU to just accept that contraception is bad for my health and I'd be better off sticking to intimacy that doesn't risk pregnancy until menopause?

[WorraLiberty]

Would either of you consider sterelisation?

[OohMavis]

I'm the same. Can't be on the pill (or anything hormonal), rejected the coil and we have to buy more expensive condoms because normal ones don't fit. So DH is taking responsibility and getting t'snip.

[YabuDabbaDoo]

I have asked my partner with no luck. Might try again.

I would consider sterilisation, yes! Anyone know what's involved? The only thing that I fear there is disrupting my hormones in a permanent way that makes me feel even more shit but irreversibly so IYSWIM

[EllenDegenerate]

I'm having a tubal ligation procedure in Nov/Dec at the time of my fifth child's birth.(all hopefully being well)

I am intolerant to the COC, bled permanently on the POP, became anaemia when using the coil and quite frankly have no desire to alter my hormonal state with LARC methods either.

I can't wait to be free from the constant side effects of contraception/fear of pregnancy and sterilisation doesn't alter hormones in any way so I'm not anticipating any side effects other than that of surgery.

Good luck OP, I completely sympathise

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Thank you Ellen that's really encouraging.

May I ask, are you receiving this through the NHS? Is it a keyhole procedure? I've had quite a lot of abdo surgery over the years and am not rating to go for more!

[tinyterrors]

The non-surgical essure sterilisation might be a good option. The fallopian tubes are blocked during the procedure so hormones shouldn't be affected and it doesn't require invasive surgery like tubal ligation.

I'm sick of the pill and considering this in a few years as my gp won't refer me because I'm only 28.

Another option could be the mini pill. It's the same hormone as depo but there are different kinds and one might be better for you. I tried a couple before settling on micronor.

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Thanks tiny. Yes I was offered the mini pill but am so laissez-faire about taking meds in a timely way that I knew I'd be protected less often than not so not worth all that progesterone in my system really.

I've never heard of the procedure you've described. Bloody hell, I'm glad I started this thread!

[EveOnline2016]

endometrial ablation could be an option

[therootoftheroot]

he needs to have the snip! why is all this fallin on you?

it takes 20 minutes and they recover in a week. mine had his on saturday morning and was in work monday morning.

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Wikipedia page on essure isn't selling it to me - sounds a bit like the coil all over again!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essure

Have just read that ligation is a laparoscopy though, so I'm guessing just an outpatient procedure and a couple of days on the sofa?

[EllenDegenerate]

Yes I'm being funded by the NHS but I suspect only because it will be done at the time of my Caesarean section.

Otherwise it's generally a laparoscopic (keyhole) procedure.

If you've already had lots of surgery I agree with pp that your partner should perhaps consider a vasectomy?

[OohMavis]

Ahh no theroot, DH is hoping for a nice week off with an icepack in his pants. Is it really so quick?!

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Well, we've only been together a year and not married or planning to be. My first husband did have a vasectomy but we didn't have sex at all anyway!

[YabuDabbaDoo]

My first DH was off his feet for about 3 days after the snip.

[MrsSpecter]

He needs to go for the snip. You've been through e-bloody-nough!!

[YabuDabbaDoo]

(I'm making this sound like I've had lots of husbands! Just one v long and okay marriage that sadly sputtered out. Was then single mum for a good long while, but now have a steady partner.)

[EllenDegenerate]

Oh I see, fair enough.

As a last ditch effort have you tried a diaphragm/cap? I'm unsure if they are made of latex though.

[differentnameforthis]

I had ligation a few years ago. It was key hole, but I took a few days longer than the norm to recover, because they removed scar tissue from my section site in order to get clear access/views.

Even with that, all up it was about a week for recovery.

[Babyroobs]

My dh was recovered from the snip in a couple of days. He was very quick to book himself in for it after the birth of our fourth child who was not planned.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

Britishcondoms.co.uk do really good variety of latex free condoms so you can try diff brands. They are all different and feel differently. Passante unique feel like nothing. In the short term at least you could consider getting a mixed bag while you figure out the right option for you?

failing that a trip to your family planning clinic you can get them for free. Maybe sending your DP off to get them will push him to consider a vasectomy.

though I would be very wary pushing it because its his body, his choice etc. A year together isn't a long time it might fizzle out but hopefully not and you are the one certain you don't want any more children or to take the pill.

[ClopySow]

Endometrial ablation is not a contraceptive option. You can still get pregnant and it can be quite dangerous.

Diaphragm is good, i used it for years.

[RandomMess]

If you are 100% done with having DC then yes asked to be sterilised!!!

I had to have endo and the consultant insisted that one of us was sterilised because the consequences of getting pregnant are so serious post endo op. So I had my tubes clipped at the same time.

[pearlylum]

A diaphragm? I have used one for 20 years, they are brilliant.

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Yeah I could look into the diaphragm I suppose. The failure rate is quite high though, isn't it? I'm not sure I could let myself go with a 1 in 50 roulette!

[YabuDabbaDoo]

To answer other questions, yes I have my lovely DC and categorically not having any more. I could not physically do it again (the caring for a small person, let alone pregnancy and birth.)