To be infuriated with dh for being ungrateful

[MrsRog23]

My mama bought my toddler an Elsa dress but as it wasn't the Disney store one just an Amazon version. DH moaned to me saying his (our) daughter only deserves the best, which my mama can't afford unlike his loaded, stuck up witch of a mother and I'm so angry over it. Lily isn't bothered and doesn't know the difference and loves the two. I should probably add that dm and dh don't really get on for a number of reasons but I just don't think his response is necessary. I've tried explaining that it shouldn't matter and there's millions of kids that would love even the cheap one never mind having one of each. He says that all my mum ever buys lily is cheap tat which is unfair it's just that he's an only child and his family are lower-middle class where as I'm not and my family are working class. It's really pissed me off and I just need mn to offer your views!

[scurryfunge]

Your DH is a dick.

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

Tell him to stop being so fucking stupid. Every single time he says something like this.

What an idiot. Seriously. He's stupid if he equates buying Disney as being better. Especially as it's for a toddler who won't give a damn!

[BolshierAryaStark]

Disney is ridiculously expensive, better quality but kids really don't give a shit & all dressing up stuff ends up looking like rags anyway.
He's being a knob, ignore.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

He is being a dick.

however it is very frustrating to receive cheap tat that falls apart or doesn't do what it's supposed to.

a person should always be grateful of course and your dhs attitude stinks peope can't help their financial situation.

bit I've had the problem. befire multiple times where people say they are going to get something and then instead of saying "I'm really sorry but it's too much" or asking if there's anything else the child might like you are instead presented with a completly substandard useless item with parts missing from a charity shop or something that's handed down from.a friend of a friend and is clearly worn/used/damaged etc

[Cookingongas]

Yanbu. What a dick, is he aiming to raise a spoilt, designer only madam?!? Teach your daughter gratitude, individuality and how to be humble- you'll have to, your dh won't!

[MrsRog23]

Thank you so much ladies, his mum actually boasts about the fact that she raised a snobbish brat! Giles** I can't agree with you that it's frustrating when you get a cheaper version as I'm just happy for my daughter to be cared about enough so people want to buy her gifts, no matter their financial situation. My mum and I didn't really get along until I was pregnant but now we're very close and have put her past mistakes behind her, dh sees this as me just blindly accepting what's happened because I'm "desperate" to have a mum. She idolises my daughter and because of that I can move past the past iyswim but his mum has always been very condescending and over involved in our relationship. The other day she told me that I needed to do more around the house to support dh (who has severe m.e and registered disabled) but I've been at college for the past two years with another year to go and I do pretty much EVERYTHING with lily. He did bollock her for that until I got an apology but I feel like a second-class citizen around the two of them and I'm not sure how much more I can take. If I left him, he'd try and take custody of the baby with his mum, as he says my mum's house is filthy and that my family have never done anything to help us and granted his mum has but she has the means to do so. Lying here in bed, whilst he's downstairs sobbing because I don't know what to do. sorry for ranting. Thank you all xx

[DelphiniumBlue]

I'm wondering how he knows the difference? Is he looking for something to moan about? Who in their right mind cares what brand a toddler's fancy dress is?
Maybe he hasn't got enough to do if he's wasting time over stuff this trivial.
He doesn't sound very nice tbh.

[DelphiniumBlue]

Just seen your update which crossed with my post.
So now he's threatening to take your baby?
He's unlikely to get custody if you are the main carer, but if you think he's at all serious about that seek proper legal advice ASAP. If you can't afford a solicitor, maybe Citizens Advice.

[isntithot]

When my DD was a toddler I preferred the cheaper stuff because she just wrecked it. Tell your DH to STFU. Your DD is lucky to have such a loving grandma that thinks about her

[marie200]

Hmm, your talking about possibly leaving your husband, I'd say there's more to this that just a cheap dress :(
He is being unreasonable, kids don't care at that age, no point spending a fortune now.
Have a word with him, you sound unhappy Hun with your whole situation, talk to him about all the things he says that upset you and see if you can work through it.
Tomorrows a new day, don't sit in bed crying, get a good sleep and talk tomorrow.
XXXX

[NikiSaintPhalle]

This sounds like some kind marital argument worked out via a battle of the mothers, and nothing to do with a child's costume. Why are they both so involved in your lives, and such a source of dissent in your relationship? I'm a bit confused as to your DH's 'logic'. Your child has two parents. If you divorced, neither his mother nor yours would have anything to do with your child's residency arrangements, whatever the tidiness/dirtiness of their houses or their social class.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Honestly reading your update I think the dress is clearly nothing to do with it.

I never said it wasn't nice that people think.of your child.

but also sometimes these things can he used as a way of point proving/control/ weird passive agressive statements.

I get it myself

grandparents constantly buying my kids literal crap which never works properly. I then end up with two of the bloody things as they then pass on their one they have at their house to replace the parts that broke

whilst simultaneously moaning about how cluttered my house is when it's all come from their house. ...

sometimes you need to read a bit more into things because really it's something that needs discouraging rather than accepting