My paternal GF is almost 90. He is in fairly good health, but bad tempered and opinionated. This behaviour is not age-related - he has always been like this. My father is dead but was also NC with him for years beforehand.
I am 40 and quite senior in my profession. I have no kids, but I am 4.5 months pregnant with my first. I got married at age 38 for the first time.
I see GP's a couple of times a year, but they live 5 hours drive from our house. DH is a doctor and we both work a lot of hours, and have quite a few relatives to fit in. GD has always been grumpy about this and has no understanding about the demands of my job. After our last visit, DH refused to go back because GD and his wife are so racist that he feels unwelcome. (He is Muslim/non-white and apparently remarks about "bloody foreign Muslim doctors not speaking English" were made). It's even more difficult now because I don't want to spend weekends/holidays without DH and I am embarrassed and ashamed that they made him feel this way.
When I told GD my pregnancy news, his reaction was "you're not! You must be bloody mad! Your kids should be 18 by now!" He has also shared his negative opinion with other relatives who have told me he has "no idea where I got this bloody ridiculous idea about becoming a mother at 41", that it's selfish and not fair on the baby, etc.
WIBU to cut off contact over this? I considered it before over the racist remarks, but DM (who adores DH) said GD had always been an unreconstructed knob-head, not to dignify it, that he wouldn't change now and we should just ignore him and in her experience eventually he will STFU (love my DM )
I do feel incredibly guilty about cutting off a lonely man who will likely be dead soon, but otoh I am very, very upset and hurt by his comments. There have been tears and worries that, really, this is what everyone thinks. Is this normal behaviour from a Daily Mail-reading nonogenarian or WIBU to tell him that I no longer wish to have any contact with him? If the latter, do I tell him why?
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AIBU?
To go NC with elderly GF over this?
45 replies
YoungGirlGrowingOld · 01/07/2016 10:13
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NavyAndWhite ·
01/07/2016 10:29
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Arfarfanarf ·
01/07/2016 10:44
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