To not want to clean up after DP

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

I expect this is a common thread...

I always bring up with DP when he leaves clothes everywhere, or leaves DD's nappies out rather than in the nappy bin or leaves the kitchen bin open (which is then ravaged by our 2 huskies), leaves stuff in the hallway so I can't get the pram out when I'm in a rush etc etc. It REALLY creams my corn.

I feel like I'm treating him like my teenage son, however, by complaining all the time and he gets annoyed when I nag, but I get so fed up with asking the same things over and over.

My mum says I'm being unreasonable and should just clear up after him and accept that he'll never do it. (Apparently that's what she did), but I just can't seem to let it go.

I'm currently on maternity leave so do mostly just get on with it but will soon be back full time at work doing more hours than my DP in a stressful job with lots of international travel so I'm worried I will blow a gasket if I'm also expected to clear up after him all the time too.

AIBU to expect more from him?

[KatharinaRosalie]

Tell him that every time he leaves stuff laying around, you can basically hear him saying: 'Fuck you, Shifty, you can do it! I'm too good to clean up my own shit, you're the skivvy!'
Not really an attractive message, is it?
Of course you're not U.

[wingingit2]

YANBU to expect an adult to clean up after himself! Maternity leave or not you should not have to do everything! He needs to pull his weight and stop being bloody lazy!

[justilou]

Put ALL the crap he's left lying around in garbage bags and put them in his cupboard. Eventually, he will inevitably ask "Have you seen my......?" And you can simply point.

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

Well, I'm glad that you don't think IBU! Thought after DP getting narky as well as my mum (she does think he's the best thing since sliced bread) that I was pushing it.

justilou I have said this on many an occasion and tell says he'll do the same to my stuff

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

*he says

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

Katharina I like that! I have said similar but I like the way you said it

[NeedACleverNN]

No chance!

Your mums a pushover.

[JennyOnAPlate]

Tell him that anything else of his left lying around will be binned. Then do it.

[gamerchick]

justilou I have said this on many an occasion and tell says he'll do the same to my stuff

Call his bluff. Or ask him if you would be both suited to seperate houses. Unfortunately I have never found a way to make the eternally messy man pick up after himself. I think it's disrespectful when one part of a couple keeps doing something that the other half is affected by. My ex was like that and I never got anywhere despite chucking his socks out until he had none left. My husband however is the complete opposite, it's a much calmer life when you work as a team.

[limon]

I have the same problem with DH. YANBU.

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

He's so lazy that I'll bet if I did package up all his crap that he would just live out of the bag like a hobo for the foreseeable future. Ha!

[BlackeyedSusan]

you need to make it effect him so he does care.

if you need to move stuff out the way to get out the door, fine... but "forget" where you put it in the rush..

clothes left out do not get washed,

if you have to tidy up after the dogs because he left the bin open, think of a natural consequence. ("I only grabbed a snack as I had to clean the kitchen up and there was not enough time to cook tea" if you normally do that)

ditto nappy bin.

It really kills any love when they behave like a petulant teenager and do not take responsibility for themselves.

[mrsfuzzy]

sorry, i bet she's lovely but your mum sounds a bit of a door mat, suggests he goes to live with her .

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

Ha ha, yes fuzzy, my mum is far too tolerant of lazy people nice

susan I like your style, especially 'forgetting' where I put things. I'll do that with his multiple pairs of shoes that clutter up our tiny hallway!

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

Also fuzzy, I think he'd gladly live with my mum. Coffee brought to him in bed, cooked dinners, laundry and ironing all done for him. And she'd love doing it all! I'd dare not suggest it...

[Whiteplate1]

Why have children with these pathetic excuses for men?