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AIBU?

Neighbors Domestic. When To Ring The Police?

49 replies

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 12:49

My next door neighbors are always arguing. At least twice a week it kicks off and one of them storms out.
We have a joining house and I hear everything. They often row in the street too.

Anyway, today was the worst I've ever seen/heard it. They were effing and jeffing at each other and the woman stormed out of the house and put the baby in the car. The baby is 3months old, same as mine.
The bloke then followed her out and was demanding that she gives him the car. She tried to stop him from leaving and then he punched her in the face Shock
She seemed alright and was still trying to grab him and stop him leaving and they both went back inside.
I didn't see them take the baby back in but I'm sure she wouldn't have left him behind.
This was almost an hour ago and they're still rowing and coming in and out of the house.

I haven't gone out and I'm not getting involved because I'm home alone with my baby and I'm not putting myself at risk but it got me thinking, at which point should I call the police?

I don't want to and I won't unless I absolutely have to because, as I said, it happens all of the time and I've still got to live next door to them after all of this has blown over.

AIBU not to intervene and ring someone?

OP posts:
MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 29/06/2016 12:51

A woman got punched in the face.
Of fucking course you should ring

hellsbellsmelons · 29/06/2016 12:51

I'd have rung the police as soon as he hit her.
Then I'd be on the phone to SS!!

Palomb · 29/06/2016 12:53

when to ring the police?

Almost an hour ago.

Wolfiefan · 29/06/2016 12:54

Many women die as a result of domestic violence. She was hit? You saw it? All the police.

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo · 29/06/2016 12:55

Call the police

Somerville · 29/06/2016 12:55

Why would you take the time to come on here and wrote about it (to AIBU, of all places!) and not to ring the police if you see someone being asaulted?

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow · 29/06/2016 12:56

Domestic violence is seen as child abuse. SS would get involved and maybe help her to get away.

I would have rung the police as soon as he punched her.

Ellioru · 29/06/2016 12:56

You should definitely call someone. I would be cautious though.

I had a similar scenario where my (ex) neighbours were constantly arguing, one day their bedroom window was open and I could hear that the woman was being physically abused, she was screaming help outside the window so I called the police.

The only thing it resulted in was the couple coming to my house threatening to beat me up and calling me a slag. Confused

Heirhelp · 29/06/2016 12:56

UBU not to ring the police. Do it now!

RudeElf · 29/06/2016 12:57

FFS

Wait till you see her gasping her last breath. Any sooner is an over reaction Hmm

AgnetaTheViking · 29/06/2016 12:59

Yes YABVU to not ring the police. Get off MN and ring them now.

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 13:02

Thanks for the replies, I rang anonymously.
Fingers crossed they don't come knocking on my door with abuse now Confused

OP posts:
RudeElf · 29/06/2016 13:05

Well if he punched her outside it could have been anyone that witnessed it.

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 13:07

That's what I'm hoping they'll think. I'm fairly certain the woman across the road was watching too. I think I saw her in the window

OP posts:
Dontyoulovecalpol · 29/06/2016 13:08

Yes for me also I would generally let people get on with a row but violence is where the police get called

NikiSaintPhalle · 29/06/2016 13:14

A woman was punched in the face! That is when you call the police!

I actually phoned the police in Paris last week about domestic violence when I was staying with friends - the couple in question lived in the flat underneath, and had a small baby. I will say the police came out immediately, but although neither of us saw the man after that, it wasn't entirely clear what had happened and whether he'd been charged with anything. My friend says she has heard the woman and her baby downstairs, but not the man, but the woman speaks no French, and won't open the door.

WellErrr · 29/06/2016 13:15

For future reference, the point when you witness a man PUNCH A WOMAN IN THE FACE is the point you call the police.

This is not a domestic. It is assault.

trafalgargal · 29/06/2016 13:21

I had neighbours this bad. Police were on first name terms with them they'd turn up so often and cart one or other of them off to the cells to cool off.
Usually more than one neighbour rang anyway so if they moaned about it I'd usually point out half the street had heard them and they'd usually admit the police had told them several people had called.

It is horrible to live next to and very wearing. Their other neighbour used to call their landlord whenever it kicked off....when he'd grumble it was unreasonable to disturb him at 1am she'd tell him now he knew how we felt.

The day they moved up several neighbours asked me if I was having a party.

idontlikealdi · 29/06/2016 13:22

Christ, when he punched her.

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 13:25

It's horrible. They've only been there a couple of months and have three kids. The other two are at school.

I don't know much about them but from what I can tell she sleeps around, or at least he thinks she does.

I didn't ring initially because she didn't seem bothered herself. If she's have been holding her face or seemed upset the obviously I'd have rang straight away but she just carried on as if nothing had happened. It obviously happens a lot Confused

Their house is council owned. I own mine and I get the impression they think me and OH are rich and stuck up (we're not, we just mow our lawn and take care of our house!)

They're not the kind of neighbors that I would want conflict in.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 29/06/2016 13:26

BibbidiBobbidi please do call the police. Please also say to them if you think the baby might be unattended in the car.

I do understand your not wanting to put yourself or your baby in any danger but if they have left the baby in a hot car while they argue the baby could be in danger. And the woman is in danger from the man, punching her in the face.

Hope you managed to call the police. It's for the best.

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 13:28

I have rang.
Just peeped outside and their car is gone. Don't know which one of them has left this time!

OP posts:
NikiSaintPhalle · 29/06/2016 13:28

I didn't ring initially because she didn't seem bothered herself. If she's have been holding her face or seemed upset the obviously I'd have rang straight away but she just carried on as if nothing had happened. It obviously happens a lot

OP, you needed her to demonstrate that she was a human being capable of showing pain in order to phone the police, despite seeing her husband punch her in the face???

Surely you can grasp that if a woman is punched in the face by her husband and barely reacts, it suggests she's too cowed/brutalised to respond normally?

What have her sexual habits or the fact that they live in a council house got to do with anything?

BibbidiBobbidi · 29/06/2016 13:30

Nothing at all niki i was saying that she thinks I am stuck up

OP posts:
ricketytickety · 29/06/2016 13:31

Glad you called police because both mum and baby are in physical danger. Someone who punches a woman in the face could seriously harm a baby. Sorry to be blunt, I know you have a new baby yourself. I'd contact nspcc too because they need a ss visit. You can email or call anon. Poor kids.

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