I am unsure whether I am doing the right thing.
I have a brother in his mid forties. he is extremely bright but also very difficult. He lives a pretty hedonistic lifestyle, is an alcoholic. Hadn't really worked for a year but spends a lot of money (no idea how!). That's his business and I am far removed from it.
He also has a history of being emotionally and verbally abusive to my parents. He has ruined family events before and then re writes history to his own advantage. As a result he has never apologised for anything. That aside, when he chooses to he can be loving, kind and enigmatic.
A year or two ago he started seeing someone who was the daughter of a friend of my parents.
More recently his girlfriend got pregnant, to say he struggled with adapting is an understatement, he left his girlfriend telling her he didn't and never did love her (the last part unnecessary I feel) and went travelling for a while.
Now for my aibu. Is it unreasonable to have a relationship with his ex in order to see have relationship with neice or nephew/ grand child? My parents see hers socially and We found out about pregnancy at 4 months via her family. he doesn't like the idea I suspect because he doesn't have control, thinks we talk about him (we don't particularly) and because he can't compartmentalise his life. He also thinks loyalty should be with him and perhaps he's right but we're unlikely to see much of his child.
One of my worries is that he says ex gf is playing games, don't want us to be 'played' by her - DB lies so I don't know if this is the truth and don't know ex gf well.
I hope I've included enough info, I don't want to drop feed but the matter is so complicated. I was on good terms with him until a few years ago but have distanced myself as he wasn't there when I went through terrible times and more recently I find it difficult to get over the hurt and stress that he causes my parents.
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AIBU?
Need advice on DB, DN to be and his ex
16 replies
SenoritaViva · 28/06/2016 18:44
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