New Teacher keeps shortening DS' name

(180 Posts)
Cjamm Mon 27-Jun-16 23:04:46

DS(6)' New year one teacher stared this half term, so has only been his teacher for the last two weeks.

DS is called Ulrick, it's a family name & because my Dad & Grandad go by nicknames, we've never shortened his name, he's always just gone by his full name.

First day of the new term, he complained that the new teacher kept calling him Rick & he doesn't like it as its his Grandads name. I told him to just tell her to stop & use his full name.

The next day he complained again but that this time he told her but she still kept calling him Rick and by the end of the 2nd week he was getting rather upset over it as the kids in his class had started calling him Rick & he really hates it, so at drop off last Monday I told her he'd prefer to be called Ulrick & she said "thanks for letting me know" so I assumed she'd start calling him by his full name.

Then that same evening DS complained about her still calling him Rick & I promised to have another word with her. I managed to speak to her at pick up on Wednesday & was pretty clear that calling him Rick upset him & could she use his full name. She seemed sorry to have upset him & said she would use his full name from now on.

Thursday the school was being used as a polling station & then Friday was a teacher training day, so no school until today. I got home from work & DS was upset as I'd promised his teacher wouldn't call him Rick anymore but she had confused

I don't know if she's just forgotten but I've mentioned it more then once now & DS has said that he's told her he doesn't like being called Rick multiple times

He was really upset by it & if it was just the teacher calling him Rick I might have just ignored it as she's only his teacher for a few more weeks but now kids in class have started calling him Rick & it really does bother him.

I don't really know what to do, would it be an overreaction to ask for a meeting? I've already told her he doesn't like her shortening his name, she's agreed not to do it but still does it. hmm

LittleReindeerwithcloggson Mon 27-Jun-16 23:08:21

I would personally go to the Head now as talking to her seems to have had no results!

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow Mon 27-Jun-16 23:08:47

I think you need to prepare him for the fact that By high school everyone generally gets assigned nick names. I can see your irritation but names are shortened. Thats life.

lalalalyra Mon 27-Jun-16 23:10:18

I'd be pretty hacked off by that. I get that kids shorten names and give each other daft nicknames, but adults should respect the choice of shortening, or not, the child has chosen.

acasualobserver Mon 27-Jun-16 23:11:43

Teacher must be shot, obvs.

Oliviaerinpope Mon 27-Jun-16 23:12:10

You have to embrace all the shortened versions of your DC's name, literally any of the nicknames could stick with his friendship group.

Cjamm Mon 27-Jun-16 23:13:32

Shouldwestay, I've always expected his name to get shortened & if it was a child calling him a nick name I'd explain that that's to be expected but as his teacher, surely she should just listen as she knows it upsets him.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Mon 27-Jun-16 23:15:49

Could it be her pronunciation? So she could think she's saying Ulrick, but is somehow losing the "Ul" in her accent?

I had a French teacher who couldn't pronounce my friend's name for love nor money - Xanthe.

MuddlingMackem Mon 27-Jun-16 23:15:58

YANBU at all.

His name, his choice to shorten it or not, nobody else's.

If you can't get in for a meeting, send them a letter explaining how upset he is and asking them to remember to use the full version. Does he have the full name on his books and peg, etc?

NeedACleverNN Mon 27-Jun-16 23:15:58

I think you have to expect all names to be shorter....kids come up with everything.

But if they were older his friends would surely respect it maybe? Or might be like typical friends where they are allowed to take the piss...

My name used to shortened to Mickey and I hated it. No one uses it now but it took a while

LightDrizzle Mon 27-Jun-16 23:19:25

I can't imagine she is now doing it on purpose, but I do see why you are upset. Your son has a strong preference and that should be respected by teachers at the very least (it's optimistic to always expect children to).

The fact that the children are now copying her is very frustrating. I'd ask if she could request the whole class refer to you son as Ulrick and correct them if they forget. She can acknowledge that she herself got it wrong by mistake.

NarkyKnockers Mon 27-Jun-16 23:21:39

As she's been calling him Rick for quite a while is she just finding it hard to get out of the habit? Has she been calling him Rick occasionally when she forgets or every time?

jayho Mon 27-Jun-16 23:21:40

my son has a similar name which is shortened at home but, by his preference, not outside. So for 'us' at home it is a term of endearment, at school and otherwise HE wants to be known by his given name. I have had to learn to respect this for him be not referring him by the diminutive in situations he does not want it used, like contact with his teacher, parent friends etc.
.
do you need these clear boundaries? if not, his teacher is being a knob and you need to go to the head.

His brother, btw, has a similar name, ie it can be abbreviated, and prefers the abbreviation so horses for courses

bakeoffcake Mon 27-Jun-16 23:22:01

She shouldn't be shortening his name. Rick isn't his name, it's Ulrick.

My name can also be shortened and it really boils my piss if someone shortens it. To me it shows they don't know me at all. If they did they would know I'm never refers to as the shortened name.

Go back into school OP and tell her how upset your son is about this.

Cjamm Mon 27-Jun-16 23:22:26

NeedACleverNN, but it's not his friends shortening it, they've called him Ulrick since nursery, they've only started calling him Rick since his new teacher started.

Muddiling, yep, he's got Ulrick written on everything, it's the first time he's ever been called anything else. An Email might be better then a meeting, I can write down everything I want & add the head to it as well and try & not sound like an overly precious parent.

MilkTwo, she doesn't have an accent & managed to say his name when I spoke to her about it previously

Iggi999 Mon 27-Jun-16 23:27:21

If she says his name ten times and one of these is a shortening to Rick, I don't think that's a problem. If she says it ten times and nine of those is the unwanted shortening, that is a problem. I call pupils what they ask to be called, end of.

noblegiraffe Mon 27-Jun-16 23:27:34

Send him in wearing a label.

Floralnomad Mon 27-Jun-16 23:28:28

It's not a foregone conclusion that names get shortened , I hate the shortened version of my name and always corrected anybody who used it - friends included . In your case I'd send a letter in tomorrow to the teacher to the effect of , I've spoken to you on several occasions but my son says you are still not using his correct name and if you don't start doing so you will take the matter further as it really upsets him .

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Mon 27-Jun-16 23:29:12

I had my teachers who used the incorrect diminutive.

Seriously, if she cannot, after such a short time, call your son his name, go to the head. If your son has no faith in his teacher calling him his name,how can he expect it of his (also youg) friends? An authority figured is saying it's ok not to call him his name.

NeedACleverNN Mon 27-Jun-16 23:30:27

Head master might be your only route?

Thought it's probably a hard habit to break

Cjamm Mon 27-Jun-16 23:31:54

Iggi999, DS says that even when he corrects her, she'll carry on with calling him Rick confused so it seems to be a deliberate thing instead of it just being a slip of the tongue

Noblegiraffe, I think even then she'd still call him Rick

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 27-Jun-16 23:32:03

I think that it is rude to shorten a name when the person has said that they dislike it. Ds is the same age and he hates derivatives of his name, and is not afraid to tell people too.

Saying that he has to get used to it for Secondary is a crazy argument. My ds will walk or catch the bus to secondary school on his own, do up to two hours of homework a night and probably find a boy/ girlfriend and have a few fags behind the bike shed, doesn't mean that I want him to get used to doing that all when he is 6. Ulrick will be different when he is 11/12 and might want to be called Ul or Ric or Ricky or something unrelated, doesn't mean he should get used to it now.

I would email the teacher and copy in the head of KS1, you have asked politely three times and he has asked her numerous times. She needs to sharply focus on the face that his name is Ulrick.

OliviaShoo Mon 27-Jun-16 23:32:11

I have a name that can be shortened. I hate it. I am not known, nor have ever been known by the shortened version. I simply don't respond if someone calls a nickname. Miraculously it only takes a couple of times, and people soon remember!

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 27-Jun-16 23:33:15

fact not face

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead Mon 27-Jun-16 23:35:52

Yes names get shortened. But she's the adult, he's the child and he's telling her he doesn't like it, as are you.

It is hard once you've got a child into your head as one thing but she needs to make an effort. Tell DS to politely correct anyone who calls him Rick.

I know a brownie leader who has several names that she pronounces "wrong" (names can be pronounced multiple ways, she uses a different one to the child) eg NY-omi/NAY-omi but everyone (child, other children, other leaders) corrects her and its a running joke

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