To be petrified

(36 Posts)
Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:36:35

7 months preg and terrified my husband will cheat because my sex drive is non existent 😔 Is this normal?im constantly anxious

AnyFucker Mon 27-Jun-16 20:37:46

Has he given you cause to doubt his faithfulness ?

FinallyMadeIt Mon 27-Jun-16 20:40:17

You need to speak to him about it.

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:40:24

Not really but he acts like a teenager always making sexual remarks despite sciatica and complaining im sore/exhausted i know hes got needs but at the moment once a week is all im managing

MrsMarsch Mon 27-Jun-16 20:41:21

Once a week is more than my OH is getting... By about once a week! You should be focusing on yourself and being comfortable, he has hands to service his needs!

fryingtoday Mon 27-Jun-16 20:41:59

Try and address your anxiousness. I suspect the focus is irrelevant (Ie no way will he stray). This could be a wonderful time where you feel a new life growing within you. Could you get to pregnancy yoga? I found that incredibly helpful in making me stop and focus on the new life inside. Which is very powerful - and totally big enough to shove away anxiousness about unlikely infidelity. Men can take the temporary lack of sex smile

AnyFucker Mon 27-Jun-16 20:43:16

He can have a wank to sort out his "needs" (that sounds terribly manpleasing, btw)

Do you think it is your responsibility ?

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:44:00

I know but he acts like thats nothing and i feel such a pressure ive tried the talking to him and its reduced me to tears he tries reassurance but then makes comments to let me know hes in need i feel very inadequate x

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow Mon 27-Jun-16 20:44:58

He will wank op he will survive.

It's completely normal and not sure about the acting like a teenager thing? My dh is always flirting with me and we are oldgrin

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:45:52

Frying thanks and i could look into that it maybe would be a good focusx

HolisticMama13 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:49:44

Have a read on pre natal depression. Its rarely reported but is more common than people think xxx

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:52:33

Haha shouldwe its just the overly randyness when im visibly dead on my feet

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:53:24

Holistic i think its possible as ive other worries im just constantly worried

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:53:43

And down alot too

TooGood2BeFalse Mon 27-Jun-16 20:56:36

Hi OP, so sorry you are having a rough time. I am due in 10 days and think my DH and I have probably had sex about a dozen times since the early days (unusual for us) as I've practically no desire to and a lot of aches and pains. (Also live in a very hot country and we have a boisterous 4 year old..) It is just understood between us that I am not really up to it at the moment, but it will pass.

Is there any particular reason you think he will cheat or literally just lack of sex? Had he done it before or do you just feel a distance generally?

I firmly believe sex is a privilege, not a right. He isn't 'owed' sex just because he's your DH, it's meant to be fun for you too!

Also, just wondering, perhaps your DH makes innuendos to be funny? Lighten the mood? Maybe we are somewhat immature, but a good willy/shagging joke never goes amiss here blush

HolisticMama13 Mon 27-Jun-16 20:59:10

I had it when I was pregnant but didn't realise until very recently that it existed! I was talking to a new mum friend and she told me of her experience.

Maybe speak to your midwife? And your partner.

I was in a really bad place and I put it down to 4 huge life changing events whilst I was pregnant but actually now I realise it was more than that

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 21:05:45

Hello toogood thanks for the kind words no hes never cheated i just fear he will im so wound up atm i just think knowing his sex drive the lack of may lead him to cheat x

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 21:10:39

Holistic i just tried again to tell him but he just shouted and didnt understand at all where im coming from and ive thought about explaining to midwife but i never find the words and come across ok when i see her

TooGood2BeFalse Mon 27-Jun-16 21:14:53

You don't need to be too specific to the midwifend, perhaps literally just say you'require feeling down and anxious and things are very hard at the moment.That will give her the chance to talk to you and see how best she can help. Write it down if you struggle to say it?

Sorry you argued with your DH, he is probably just hurt that you worry about him cheating. Keep reminding yourself you have no reason to think that he will, and you're just distressing yourself flowers

HolisticMama13 Mon 27-Jun-16 21:16:22

Do talk to your midwife. Start with "I think my hormones are really wild this week" or something. Xxxxxxx

Ignore him. He's probably processing it. Maybe text him tomorrow and let him have a mull over it whilst you're at work tomorrow. Don't start it with the whole sex issue. Just say your feeling anxious and you think you're over thinking things xxx

peacefuleasyfeeling Mon 27-Jun-16 21:20:21

Oh dear, I am so sorry that you have to put up with this rubbish. Your P may well feel horny, but it's hardly a 'need'. At least not one that he can't 'park' for a while. It won't harm him to have a wank and back off. For ages, until you feel inclined to approach him. Whenever that might be. I feel really strongly about this, nobody should have to put up with even the tiniest smidgeon of sexual pestering or coercion in their lives. Totally uncool.

Cubtrouble Mon 27-Jun-16 21:23:53

What a prick.

Concentrate on yourself

Chocolatefudgecake100 Mon 27-Jun-16 21:25:36

Feeling So defeated hes now stormed off in a mood when i tried so
Calmly to explain to him i started by saying "i think im a bit depressed at the moment i feel wrong in myself" and then explained and he wasnt supportive

Thanks to every single one of you for being so nice about this is really helps

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Mon 27-Jun-16 21:26:06

It's nasty of him to put pressure on you for sex. You need to spell out to him how unacceptable that is. He sounds a bit selfish and childish. What about your needs? Or is he only concerned about himself?
Sex will be off the cards after the birth for several weeks and he needs to realise this.
It's a real shame you can't trust him not to stray but I think if a man is going to cheat, he will, regardless of whether he's getting any at home or not.

If you think you aren't being rational or feeling over anxious then of course discuss it with a midwife or doctor. Hope you're ok flowers

arethereanyleftatall Mon 27-Jun-16 21:28:08

I wouldn't be putting out at all at 7 months pregnant, let alone once a week. My dh wouldn't dream of asking/begging/persuading/whatever. He sounds selfish.

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