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AIBU?

To end it and move on

7 replies

Belle89 · 26/06/2016 22:18

Would you leave a partner due to you possibly wanting more children one day? Has been playing on my mind as he has a genetic disorder that could be passed on a cause a child to have issues/health issues as they grow, we both have a child each from previous relationships. He would like another and i didnt think i did until this. I dont think its a chance i want to take but feel like a selfish cow to feel this way.

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CreepingDogFart · 26/06/2016 22:21

I can't really answer by didn't want to read and run. I can however speak from the other side and I am unable to have children. I have sabotaged every relationship because I don't want someone to end up stuck with me and not have the children they want. I don't know what the ethical answer is but I think you need to do what feels right to you. You need to be true to yourself otherwise everything is founded on lies anyway. Do what works for you.

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puglife15 · 26/06/2016 22:24

I'd think you can't be that into the relationship if you'd leave over this.

Obviously It is wise to weigh up probability and severity of issues a baby could have if you are thinking about TTC.

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puglife15 · 26/06/2016 22:25

Just to add would you leave a partner if you found out they had fertility issues? Because it's very similar.

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ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 22:26

I wouldn't knowingly have a child that might have a health problem - I couldn't do that to a child.

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SquinkiesRule · 26/06/2016 22:27

You need to look at all the possibilities first, will they child have a high chance of illness? Is he determined that the child be his genetically or would donor sperm be acceptable to you both. Or adoption even.

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Anicechocolatecake · 26/06/2016 22:49

I think you have to consider it very carefully and it would be far more fair to leave now than later. I have a genetic condition. I'm glad I'm here. I have struggled hugely at times but the good vastly outweighs the bad. At the of the day life is a privilege and something to treasure. I can't have children but I would if I could. I have many cousins and siblings without my condition so your children aren't doomed. My healthy siblings' children might end up with cancer or a million other things for all I know.

That said there are lots of other conditions I simply wouldn't risk passing on. So it depens on what condition you're talking about.