to think this is controlling

[WeeEnglishRose]

Long story short, I went to cut the hedge today, but DH had a go at me because I didn't want to wear safety goggles while using the hedge trimmer. Yes, the handbook says they should be worn, but I wear glasses and the goggles make my vision go funny, which I didn't think was very safe when using a large bladed instrument.

He switched off the plug and stood in front of me, refusing to let me turn it on until I put the goggles on. I said that as an adult, I'm entitled to make my own choices about what's safe or not, and he can have an opinion but can't force me. He went in a massive huff, eventually stormed off, saying I was "stupid" and "you wouldn't let your child do that, so why should I let you".

I have massive issues with these, he seems unbothered and is being smug, saying he is right and there should be no debate on safety issues.

Any thoughts?

[ny20005]

I think I know what I'd have done with large bladed instrument lol

[ArmfulOfRoses]

You might not let a child do lots of things, but you're not a child.

Surely, your glasses are doing the job of protecting your eyes?
Not quite as well as goggles obviously, but fairly well I'd think.

[NeedACleverNN]

You outweighed the risks vs the benefits, decided it would be more risky to wear the goggles and chose the safest outcome!

How can he be cross with that?

Very controlling and sulky by the sounds of it. What is he like normally?

[Crispbutty]

Just pass him the goggles and let him get on with doing it. I would say safety goggles should be worn as glasses dont offer anywhere near the amount of protection.

[SquinkiesRule]

I rarely wear safety goggles due to wearing glasses too. Dh has prescription safety goggles for his old job. He never asks/tells me to put them on over glasses, it makes everything distorted.
Your Dh was being a knob.

[sooperdooper]

I would be very pissed off at his concept that I was a child who could could be allowed or disallowed to do something!

Yes I'd consider that controlling and patronising

[WorraLiberty]

Yes he was controlling

On another note, you really should wear them or ask/pay someone else to trim the hedge.

Glasses could potentially cause even more damage to the eyes, should the glass get broken by something flying into them.

[WeeEnglishRose]

He can be very stubborn and sulky, yes. He has just taken the strimmer off me for the same reason and called me a fucking cunt. I think I might go out for a bit.

[NeedACleverNN]

Wow lovely language

[ArmfulOfRoses]

I'd go out for the rest of my life.

[WorraLiberty]

I'd strim his bollocks off.

[sooperdooper]

Jesus Christ is he always like this? I'd go out and not come back

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

Yes it's controlling, but is it out of character?

[VioletBam]

My Aunt lost her eye cutting up wood.

YABU not to wear goggles. If you can't see with them on due to glasses, then don't cut hedges.

[Finola1step]

The goggles and strimmer...you are more than capable of assessing your own risk. Of course he can make suggestions but he has no right to unplug etc. This shows that he does not see you as an equal adult able to make your own judgements.

The name calling...out and out abusive behaviour right there.

So all in all, from what you have told us, he is an abusive and controlling man who drives you out of your own home. But what do you want to do about that?

[JudyCoolibar]

Of course he shouldn't call you a fucking cunt. However, he's absolutely right that glasses aren't good enough protection. What he should have done was to say he'd do the hedge himself, or get someone in to do it.

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

Does he normally equate you to a child and call you a cunt?

[Goingtobeawesome]

If you can't wear the safety goggles you shouldn't use the tool.

He shouldn't call you names.

[blankmind]

He's not gone about it in a nice way, but the bottom line is he was rightly concerned that you would very likely cause yourself significant harm if you didn't wear the goggles.

If you want to use any sort of power tools, then use the right safety equipment, it's not optional, it's essential.

[Fintress]

called me a fucking cunt

He sounds a right charmer

[Birdsgottafly]

My DH took chances when doing jobs around the house. It was me that suffered the shock and stress when he had an accident.

Strictly speaking, I didn't have to go to A&E with him, look after him, but then why would I have been in a relationship with him, if it was so easy to not do those things?

Unless you are in it for financial reasons, everything you do, does impact on your Partner and it's frustrating when they make dangerous decisions.

I refuse to be around when my Adult friends/relatives do stupid stuff. There's people that I won't go Hiking/Camping with.

We're suppose to just sympathise when they injure themselves.

An eye injury could be permanent. I agree that there shouldn't be a compromise on Safety issues, unless you've got someone else to find you injured and deal with the aftermath.

[AdjustableWench]

I'm sure there are thousands of people who trim hedges every summer wearing glasses who come to no harm (like me, last week). And no doubt there are some unfortunate accidents in which someone is injured because they didn't use goggles. But it's your choice, as an adult, to take that risk.

I would choose to take the risk. I would also choose to leave a partner who compared me with a child and called me a cunt for refusing to do things the way he told me to do them.

If my partner offered to do it himself instead, wearing goggles, because he was more risk averse than me and was really worried that I might be injured, that would seem reasonable.

[Whisky2014]

Well I think you should be wearing the correct ppe actually. He's looking out for you? Language is awful though.

[exWifebeginsat40]

when my XH called me a cunt it was the end. game over. are you going to let him apologise later and make it all go away?

you are worth more.

[Inertia]

HIBVVU for calling you the names he did.

YABU for not buying goggles which are suitable for use with glasses. It's a risk too far- if you can't do the job safely, employ someone who can.