Is there a non homophobic definition of the word bent that me & Ds may be unaware of before I complain to school?

(420 Posts)

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Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 13:47:23

Not very happy. Having various problems at school. Ds displays clear traits of asd but not being given reasonable adjustments. Also bullying happening.

Today in PE he was straitening the long jump measuring tape. Teacher asked what hecwas doing.

I'm straitening the tape cause it's bent.

Teacher replied - the only bent thing here is you.

Ds is not gay (he's only 12) but we have several family friends who are & older dd has lots of classmates at another schools who identify as lgbt.

AIBU to think that this isn't on?

SloppyDailyMailJournalism Wed 22-Jun-16 13:49:41

Too bloody right, complain. Not aware of another meaning, but I'd google to be sure. I guess in they were in their 70s or something they could have meant crooked, but I'd be assuming they meant gay.

LurkingHusband Wed 22-Jun-16 13:49:51

Ignoring any homophobic connotations, it just sounds disrespectful.

TealLove Wed 22-Jun-16 13:49:53

Hmm it's hard to say. I think it would be really unlikely that's what he meant.

SewSlapdash Wed 22-Jun-16 13:50:40

The only other meaning I can think of is "crooked" as in "bent copper", a police officer who colluded with criminals. Either way, not a great term to use. I suspect this was probably a case of open mouth, engage brain later, unless there is a history with this teacher?

I would mention it, but perhaps not go in all fund blazing,

pippistrelle Wed 22-Jun-16 13:53:05

Bent over, as in crouching down because the tape was on the ground. Literally bent.

eyebrowse Wed 22-Jun-16 13:53:13

Bent can mean dodgy as in a criminal dealings vs a straight or honest transaction

Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 13:53:15

He's trying to impress this teacher as he's in charge of a sport that Ds wants to try out fir the team next year (Ds is in a team outside school)

But there is history with Ds & other PE teachers as he's had a meltdown during a lesson & other kids often laugh at him.

DaemonPantalaemon Wed 22-Jun-16 13:53:53

Doesn't bent actually mean not straight as in crooked? This is bent out of shape etc? And the slang term bent if used in the context of gay people comes from that, that is, not straight? Why do you immediately assume the teacher used bent as a homophobic insult, rather than made a weak jokey comment?

Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 13:55:53

Yes I'd forgotten about dodgy dealings, but I can't see how that would fit into the context of a PE lesson unless he was saying Ds was trying to fix the results.

Somtamthai Wed 22-Jun-16 13:56:16

Other than "bent copper". I can only think of "bent out of shape" or "get bent"

The first meaning don't be angry/annoyed "don't get bent out of shape Bout it"

The late basically means piss off. When arguing "get bent" then flounce off - but not heard that since the 90's

Either way not a great way to speak to any child.

NurseyBernard Wed 22-Jun-16 13:56:36

I think that the teacher referring to your son as 'bent' in that context is disrespectful.

titchy Wed 22-Jun-16 13:57:01

I certainly doesn't sound remotely homophobic. He used the term bent to mean a bit crooked or dodgy - as in bent copper. Which itself isn't great, but isn't homophobic if that's your concern.

LaContessaDiPlump Wed 22-Jun-16 13:57:09

Bent as in crooked, or not telling the truth.

Putting the best possible spin on it, the teacher was saying 'Hmm. I question your general trustworthiness' to a student, in what he thought was a humorous way.

Failing that, it's the teacher attempting to insult your DS by calling him gay, which speaks volumes about the teacher ("Let's insult the student! Being gay is an insult, let's use that!"). Not appropriate at all.

Leeds2 Wed 22-Jun-16 13:57:17

I suspect pippistrelle has got it right and the teacher meant that your DS was bent over. I really cannot believe that in the circumstances you describe the teacher would be making any homophobic comments.

bombayflambe Wed 22-Jun-16 13:58:09

I have never heard it used to mean Gay.

I have heard it used for criminal on The Bill .
My Mum used to say 'what's got you all bent' when we were whittling about something as children (many years ago). In the case of your DS I'd presume that the teacher meant he was worrying unnecessarily about the tape, but the tone sounds nasty and it should be highlighted.

Actually I haven't heard of bent used for Gay, but I wandered into a parallel world on facebook recently when some (gay) friends were teasing each other about 'going straight' as I had the Ronnie Barker song in my head about coming out of prison and they meant something completely different.

Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 13:58:49

Ds is a very slight, very small for age boy into music & drama & who prefers to hang around with the girls if that makes any difference.

LurkingHusband Wed 22-Jun-16 13:59:00

Who'd be a teacher, eh ?

KateLivesInEngland Wed 22-Jun-16 13:59:25

My DH uses the term Bent as a nine bob note to describe something as criminally dodgy.
The way you are describing I would take to mean gay though and completely inappropriate.

Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 14:00:48

Bent is/was widely used aroynd here to mean gay.

KateLivesInEngland Wed 22-Jun-16 14:01:56

Though it may have come out wrong. I've said things that were ill thought out and then thought. Oh shit, that's not what I meant!

miaowmix Wed 22-Jun-16 14:02:39

bent as a nine bob note, as in dodgy.
Or literally bent as a poster said. I wouldn't jump to conclusions here.

StarUtopia Wed 22-Jun-16 14:03:53

FGS. He was almost certainly talking about your child being bent down

Really. Total overreaction. Make a mental note and if anything else happens/is said, then by all means go and have a little chat, if you must.

Why on earth would people automatically assume a teacher would make a homophobic remark? Do you know how many courses etc teachers go on. Probably the least likely person to make any kind of remark that way!

NightWanderer Wed 22-Jun-16 14:05:10

I also think it's a fuss about nothing. I don't think you should complain to the school.

Balletgirlmum Wed 22-Jun-16 14:05:45

So I'm wondering what is dodgy about Ds?

He's very very truthful , can't follow social cues & has aspergers. He was set on by another boy in his last PE lesson in the changing room & they both ended up with detention which Dh (who is a teacher) is complaining about.

I'm still struggling.

Ds thinks he meant gay.

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