...to think that raising a dog is brilliant training for raising a kid??

(80 Posts)
Sheilasfeels Tue 21-Jun-16 23:31:53

So me and DH are trying for a baby. We have a two year old dog. Basically I'm pretty sure that I've got this whole parenting thing sussed now and raising a child will be a walk(ies) in the park. How do I know? Let's look at the evidence:

Cleaning up poo - check
Being woken up at 6 a.m. to play a game - check
Me and DH not having sex because the dogs asleep in the middle of the bed - check

AIBU or am i basically a parenting expert right now?

ThePinkOcelot Tue 21-Jun-16 23:32:50

Okayyyyyyyyy.......

EatShitDerek Tue 21-Jun-16 23:34:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catzpyjamas Tue 21-Jun-16 23:37:59

YABU, unfortunately. Some days I wish I'd stuck to four-legged dependants.
They are potty trained within a few months.
They eat solids earlier and don't require hand-feeding.
They don't have a wardrobe which they outgrow every few weeks.
You can leave them home alone for short periods.
They won't throw a party when you are away on holiday.
Their teenage angst only lasted a few months.

Sheilasfeels Tue 21-Jun-16 23:40:21

I've done the first one, the dog likes to roll in poo and things which have been dead a looong time. Plus sometimes when he eats long grass you have to give it a bit of a tug when it comes out the other end. Do children eat poo? I've deslt with that too.

We've given the dog a petulant, entitled public school boy voice to argue back at us with, so we're learning abiut dealing with tantrums.

Heratnumber7 Tue 21-Jun-16 23:40:24

AIBU to think that raising a dog is brilliant training for raising a kid??

Heratnumber7 Tue 21-Jun-16 23:41:42

Oops. Posted too soon.

Yes YABU. VVU.

Raising a dog is nothing like raising a child. I hope you're being facetious.

Euripidesralph Tue 21-Jun-16 23:41:48

Lol welllllll okayyy your post has mild similarities but consider the following

Are you concerned that every single action you take with the dog may be the wrong one and lead him into a life of desolation , ruin and devastation....because you didn't teach him the right manners and therefore he will be unable to navigate social situations?

Have you taught him to use a fork and knife whilst simultaneously being able to feed him when his choice to eat certain foods changes on an hourly basis?

Are there fifteen different methods for making sure your dog grows up healthily and happily....and have you figured out which one is the right one on the basis of contradicting information?

Do you need to change the dogs clothes and nappies seven times a day because the weather changed and now it's too hot so there's a sids risk of him overheating but it's also raining during the summer so how will you keep him the right temp but protected from the elements?

Have you taught him how to cross the road safely when the most fascinating thing in the world is to see fast moving cars and diggers up close?

Have you played lego with him for hours on end and dealt with guilt when you get up for ten minutes to do something interesting he house or God forbid just have a break and the dog begs you to play with him?

Have you sleep trained the dog ?

Can you do all this whilst running on an hours sleep for the last five night , rubbish diet because the baby cries when you go to the kitchen ( but it's tough to make a hot meal with a baby on your hip) and when the washing is backed up so your in last week's leggings and a top that hangs off you and gets in the way ?

Lol in fairness op I admire your enthusiasm and hope .....but no one is ready for children....doesn't mean you won't be brilliant but it's more complicated than your post grin

Sheilasfeels Tue 21-Jun-16 23:42:37

Yes being able to leave him alone is a bonus, but being honest so is the 'yes i know it is a shame i have to leave this thrilling party early but must get back to the dog' excuse.

Salmotrutta Tue 21-Jun-16 23:44:34

YY OP

Dogs and children are totally the same.

Is this a reverse?

Are you actually the dog?

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 21-Jun-16 23:44:40

Oh the op is obviously joking! Some people are just so determined to be soor faced!

Sheilasfeels Tue 21-Jun-16 23:45:05

Woof i mean no...

yummumto3girls Tue 21-Jun-16 23:46:16

I think OP has about got it covered.....
Everyone else.....you do realise she is not being serious!

mummytime Tue 21-Jun-16 23:46:43

Nope it in no way prepares you.

Babies become small children (who ask questions), small children become bigger ones - who answer back and lie skillfully, bigger children become teens - who come with a wide range of psychological issues and social problems.
A dog is much easier.

Salmotrutta Tue 21-Jun-16 23:46:45

Are you a Labrador?

Children are a breeze compared to a Labrador.

planeymcplaneface Tue 21-Jun-16 23:47:10

My 1yo son has striking similarities to my dog where food is concerned grin both think if i have food they need to have food too and set about ganging up on me. I swear they are in cahoots with each other as ds will pat my knee while dog looks on ever hopeful grin

shiveringhiccup Tue 21-Jun-16 23:49:06

This was a nice fun thread to read, thanks OP!

Good luck with ttc smile

Savemefromwine Tue 21-Jun-16 23:49:24

Love this thread op.

Look literally sat here with my gorgeous dog. She loves me. She adores me. And she can't talk or argue or slam doors or ask for lifts/money

My dog is ace. Now kids on the other hand!hmm

Stick to the dog op. grin

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 21-Jun-16 23:52:35

You may have child rearing sorted but you ain't mastered the use of 'lighthearted' grin

Can you crate children? My life would be considerably calmer if you can.

LifeIsGoodish Tue 21-Jun-16 23:53:45

Oh the naivety of the No Kids Yet...YABVVVU

OTOH I remember how having a toddler was incredibly similar to having a puppy, so YANBentirelyU

IggyPopsicle Tue 21-Jun-16 23:54:15

YABU.

They are more like hyenas than dogs. Here is a pic of my 3 teen DNephews - aren't they, erm...charming? grin

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 21-Jun-16 23:55:15

Really?

I'd have thought dogs were far harder work.

Babies wear nappies out and about, whereas dogs you have to pick up shit in a bag and carry it around with you. Then when they get bored or need a pee you have to take them out in all weathers in humiliating little coats rather than sticking Cebeebies on.

And dog walkers always end up finding the dead bodies on their compulsory poo walks. How tedious is that?

KC225 Tue 21-Jun-16 23:57:27

Give OP a break. A dog is a start

Just5minswithDacre Tue 21-Jun-16 23:58:00

Yes being able to leave him alone is a bonus

A bonus? gringringringringringringringringringrin

I think I've ruptured my spleen laughing.

Catzpyjamas Tue 21-Jun-16 23:58:45

Salmotrutta, see I thought that too.

Our Labrador was SO naughty. He ran away, stole food, wrecked other people's things, messed the floor, brought home drunk men (after running away with the lead attached) stole more food, chased cows, followed me to work, stole food from restaurants.

Then I had a teenager who cost a lot to keep, needed fed on demand, created huge amounts of mess, stole food, threw a party, messed up my sofas, brought home drunk friends, chased girls, fell over.... and talked back!

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