AIBU or is DP?

(11 Posts)
Clareel Mon 20-Jun-16 16:49:44

Hi all, I'm a long time lurker first time poster. Background is DP works M-F 8-5 and I work 12 hour shifts rotating from days to nights. So even though we both work full time I do have more days off and so I do more of the housework, also because I don't mind doing it am a bit of a clean freak. DPs only 'job' around the house is to take the bin bags out on a Sunday as they get collected at 6am Monday morning. I do literally everything else.

So this morning at 6.30am while I am in work on a night shift I get a message saying can I take the bin bag down when I get in, as he has forgotten and has had to leave at 6am to get to a meeting on the other side of town for 8am. I didn't see the message until 7.30am because I was busy working and obviously responded that it was too late now and I'm not going to be back until 10am so what's the point in messaging me as he knows it's too late.

Anyway I came home and went to bed as I am back in work tonight only to be woken up by him just now coming home to find that I haven't emptied the bin and now he is sulking because he is going to have to deal with this stinky bin bag in the flat all week. I am going away tomorrow - Friday so it doesn't really affect me until then when I get back. AIBU to think that this is his fault entirely and he should have just emptied the bin as planned, as he does every week?

Arkwright Mon 20-Jun-16 16:52:49

Surely it takes seconds to take the bag out? Why didn't he take it on his way out at 6?

Euphemia Mon 20-Jun-16 16:54:13

Why is he sulking? Just what does he think that will achieve? Is he annoyed at you or himself?

Is he often like this?

TeaBelle Mon 20-Jun-16 16:54:39

Tell him to take it to the tip

53rdAndBird Mon 20-Jun-16 16:58:59

Why did he message you when you were at work? Did he expect you to leave early to deal with it? confused

NapQueen Mon 20-Jun-16 17:17:04

He forgot Sunday evening
He forgot Monday morning
Yet you are getting the shit for it?

He does no housework. None. None?

You both work ft. He gets every evening to relax and two days a week to relax. Do you get that?

Smellyrose Mon 20-Jun-16 17:23:22

You both work full time and his only housework job is to take the bin out?

Draw up a list of jobs and give home half. Including the bins.

Euphemia Mon 20-Jun-16 17:23:53

You're doing too much. He needs more responsibility and less being bailed out by you. Let him fuck up like he did today, let him smell feel the consequences. Make him be an adult.

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 20-Jun-16 17:29:58

Why do you let him get away with being so lazy? You both work full-time so presumably you're both out of the house for the same number of hours.

You need to split everything 50/50.

NapQueen Mon 20-Jun-16 17:42:04

When you get back from your week away will he have managed to feed himself, clean the house and clean his clothes? Either he will, which means he can do it when you are there too, or he can't and it will all be left for you on your return in which case I'd suggest turning on your health and walking right back out the door.

Mitel Tue 21-Jun-16 10:35:11

Sounds like pretty controlling behaviour, and a big red flag for me. He forgets and puts the onus on you, and you get the criticism. Is he always so entitled? I would think long and hard about your relationship while you are away.

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