DPs ex

(130 Posts)
thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 19:51:06

Hi all this is the first time I have asked advice on my own life in AIBU but I need to vent!!
Basically DPs ex has made our life hell for ten yrs + and I have literally years of saved abusive messages, screenshots from slanderous things she has written about us on social media etc. I know the best thing to do is ignore it but I've had enough and the slander on social media has started to affect my life again.
So what I am asking is that if I post the messages on social media publically and screenshots of her lies with the actual truth (think 'x & x refused to buy kids school uniform today' next to a text from her saying 'if you don't give me £50 tomorrow I am confiscating their phones until you do') am I breaking any laws?
Just for the record the kids are almost adults now. One just pretends it isn't happening and isn't right arsed and the other one is sick to the back teeth of it as well and moved out - spends most of the time with us or grandparents. Neither of them would give a shit whether I told the world everything, she has well and truly burnt her bridges with youngest DSC
I hate social media now with a burning passion but what she puts on there is impossible to avoid!!! angry

Cutecat78 Sun 19-Jun-16 19:52:37

I wouldn't bother - it makes you look as small as her.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 19:53:32

If we had the money we would take civil action - and I don't want to waste police time. I have spoken to them about it and because she doesn't actually write our full names or make threats or anything it's not really a police matter. She refers to my DP as 'sperm donor' (which he is not and has never been) and refers to me as 'ugly speccy bitch' but it's crystal clear who she's talking about.

Cutecat78 Sun 19-Jun-16 19:54:20

Yeah - but what do you want to achieve?

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 19:55:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 19:55:38

I have tried not to bother I really have but I cannot think of another way to silence her. I can't even allow my DC to have social media even though their friends have because she is fucking relentless. But if I put the proof out there then all her sympathising buddies who gossip and spread her bullshit would know the truth and hopefully stop sticking their beaks in confused

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 19:57:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Owllady Sun 19-Jun-16 19:57:36

She sounds AWFUL sad xxx

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 19:58:04

I want it to stop. But silence in this case has achieved nothing. My friends literally end up arguing with her friends (the last time being her sister approaching my best friend saying 'x is a fucking arse wipe stopping x being a proper dad to his kids all these years' it's all absolute bullshit but she has all these people sucked in

JuxtapositionRecords Sun 19-Jun-16 19:58:16

Honestly I would leave it. Can you imagine being her, living a life with such anger and hatred? She must be a really unhappy person. Not that it justifies this at all, but it should give you more momentum to just ignore, live your live and don't give in to such a negative person. She is just trying to make you as unhappy as she is, don't let her win.

Crispbutty Sun 19-Jun-16 19:58:51

Just ignore it. Hard I know.. my ex had and exwife like that, totally batshit crazy and jealous.. one example being, when her adult son was hospitalised and she was on the other side of the country, she told him she would disown him if he allowed me (his stepmother) to visit him....

sadly my ex didnt back me up, defend me or do a fecking thing about it, and it contributed a lot towards our marriage failing..

she would slag me off on facebook.. I wasnt friends on there with her, and she had blocked me so that I couldnt see it, but she knew mutual friends would see it and screenshot it.

I briefly toyed with the idea of going to a solicitor but that would just have given her more joy to know she was getting to me..

Dont post anything. Just completely ignore her. If anyone says anything to you, put them right, as they will probably know she is unhinged towards you anyway.

PumpkinPies38 Sun 19-Jun-16 19:59:19

I would do it. Other people redwing it will automatically believe what she's writing and saying as its going unchallenged. Call her out on it. Why should be silent whilst someone bullies and slanders you? Tell the truth and stand up for yourself!

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 19:59:21

DP no longer gives her a penny - oldest child is a working adult and younger one spends half time living with us and half with his mum and dad, so we provide everything anyway now

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 20:00:37

Pumpkin I did put a question in there probably should have put it at the end - am I breaking any laws if I do so? Everything would be the absolute truth I just want to defend myself and my DP after all these years!!

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 20:01:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 20:02:27

My DC are teenagers but when I let them have social media she tried to add them from fake profiles and then posted a status saying that I HAD SET UP PROFILES IN MY KIDS NAMES TO FUCKING STALK AND HARASS HER angry

CaptainMarvelDanvers Sun 19-Jun-16 20:03:26

The thing is her friends are always going to believe her over you, even if you had mass amounts of proof.

I wouldn't blame you if you did do what you want to do but other posters are right, she's going to know she's getting to you.

I think you should take the highroad but I understand that's easy for people not involved to say.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 20:03:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 20:03:41

fuckincunt how is it nothing to do with me when she slanders me all the time and her idiot minions approach MY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES making comments about me?
My DP has had it to the back teeth with the woman but he knows she just wants him to lose it with her so she can phone the police

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 20:04:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeckyMcDonald Sun 19-Jun-16 20:06:00

Just completely ignore her. Any little acknowledgement of her ranting will make you look just as bad. Honestly, I keep some people on my FB just like her because it's so entertaining watching them make absolute dicks of themselves. I automatically side with the other party, whether I know them or now. All the rational people on her friends list will think she's a grade-a cunt. Watch how many people 'like' her bullshit statuses. Same few thickos every time, right?

Please block her and ask no-one to tell you anything at all about her. Tel your friends not to respond to her. She will get bored of you give her zero contact and therefore zero ammo.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 20:06:45

How do you suggest I disengage then? This woman has actually tried to add MY CHILDREN on social media to stalk us, she has written specifically about me on hers and she has made my life difficult for over ten years. I think I have a right to stick up for myself

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 20:07:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebelRogue Sun 19-Jun-16 20:09:15

Her friends more than likely will still be on her side. Either accusing you of faking it all or focusing on the "breach of privacy" and completely missing the point or going what about x,y,z, until they find something you don't have a screenshot about so they can go "AHA..so she is telling the truth"! All you're going to do is cause a massive argument ,more stress and worry and more abuse. Maybe you can tell/show her in private that you do have proof she's lying and if she doesn't stop this nonsense you'll post it anywhere and everywhere.

thepothasboiledover Sun 19-Jun-16 20:09:39

Please read the full thread before commenting. I asked if I would be doing anything against the law if I went ahead, hoping that someone would point out what I could do to stay on the right side of the law

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