they made my baby sick

(40 Posts)
Ilovetea82 Sat 18-Jun-16 09:49:33

Aibu
Husband wants to go see some former colleagues of his that are back in town visiting.
Last time we seen them lo was 6 weeks old and they happily let their toddler who had hand foot and mouth disease kiss him (I was in an exhausted bubble at the time so didn't really comprehend the seriousness of what was happening) lo got sick, I got a lecture from our doctor about the seriousness of it and how her lg had developed complications and been in hospital and how I was putting others at risk by even coming to the surgery.

Anyway I am refusing to go see them and don't want hubby to take lo, happy for him to go though... Help!!!

EatShitDerek Sat 18-Jun-16 09:51:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ricketytickety Sat 18-Jun-16 09:53:27

Is their toddler ill with a contagious illness at the mo?

Ilovetea82 Sat 18-Jun-16 09:53:27

Oh I realise that, he is now 2 and has had all sorts, it's the cavalier attitude towards spreading germs I can't get on board with.
If my lo has been ill I've always avoided new borns or at least informed the parents that lo is ill and allowed them to make the decision as to whether to risk infection. Surely it's just common courtesy

GahBuggerit Sat 18-Jun-16 09:53:52

are the children ok now?

ricketytickety Sat 18-Jun-16 09:54:13

Ah, are you angry with them then - is that why you don't want to see them?

EatShitDerek Sat 18-Jun-16 09:54:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JuxtapositionRecords Sat 18-Jun-16 09:54:58

Are you sure they knew it was H,F&M?

Ilovetea82 Sat 18-Jun-16 09:55:34

Possibly ill as they wouldn't say if they were and would just happily let it spread angry

GahBuggerit Sat 18-Jun-16 09:55:38

oh just seen this was nearly 2 years ago confused

err yea, yabu, lots

Triliteral Sat 18-Jun-16 10:08:01

Did they know their child was ill? That's vital information regarding how unreasonable they were originally.

I think you perhaps should have said something at the time, rather than letting it fester. Presumably now, you are going on strike to make a point and raise the issue, rather than doing this simply to protect your child?

Difficult though, because I am with you on those who are careless with others' health. What if they announce, after playing together, that their child just vomited this morning, but they weren't ones to let that stop them.

I'm torn. The obvious way around this is communication. If you could tell them what happened last time and make clear you want to make informed choices with regard to infectious illness, then you could go into it feeling more in control. Hard if they are your husband's friends and he doesn't want to. In which case, you have a DH problem, as they say here on MN.

Batteriesallgone Sat 18-Jun-16 10:12:32

I wouldn't go. People like that tend to be pretty inconsiderate of others generally. The kind of people who don't register inconvenience to others and just want to crack on with things their way. Tends to piss me off as a guest even when it doesn't really impact my life. Only you know what they are like though

murmuration Sat 18-Jun-16 10:13:30

Wait a minute, you got a lecture from your GP about bringing your ill 6 week old to the doctor? What in the world had she expected you do? I would think that would have been the time for your husband to have had a word with them, not two years later. And whether they knew about their child's illness is quite relevant.

Ilovetea82 Sat 18-Jun-16 10:13:36

Yes they knew, we listened to her complain how inconvenient it was that her lo had been sent home from nursery and how the spots were infected. I insisted on leaving pretty quickly after that but as husband worked with them both we didn't want to cause a huge upset at the time.
I just decided I didn't want people like that around my lo and haven't seen them since. I'm pretty single minded and once I've decided on something I generally don't change my mind easily. Perhaps I should lighten up a bit

murmuration Sat 18-Jun-16 10:15:55

Okay, with that info, I'd say there's no reason really for you to pursue a relationships with these people. I don't drag my DH along with me to visit with old colleagues who happen to be passing by - can't he go on his own?

Junosmum Sat 18-Jun-16 10:19:21

I really don't get mumsnet sometimes. A woman on another thread gets slated for suggesting she nips to the shops with her, covered, in a buggy, poxy child to get emergency provisions, and yet on this thread make out that you are unreasonable to be a bit pissed off that visitors to your home didn't notify you of their sick children and allowed said sick child to slober on your newborn on a completely avoidable visit! YANBU.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 18-Jun-16 10:20:16

But... They told you! Yeah, they shouldn't have had a contagious child around a new born but they literally told you what was wrong with him, you should have left. You need to stop holding a grudge over something that happened two years ago.

charliethebear Sat 18-Jun-16 10:23:34

I think you should avoid tbh, who isn't careful around a newborn when their child has hand foot and mouth! Its not like they had a minor cold and your baby was 6 weeks! They sound pretty selfish

MrsJayy Sat 18-Jun-16 10:24:36

They dont sound that nice to be around anyway selfish and inconsiderate your baby was really ill yanbu I wouldnt want to be around them either but you need to let the 2 year bitterness go you will forever hate them its not worth it .

CottonSock Sat 18-Jun-16 10:27:17

I imagine I would feel the same.

AnotherTimeMaybe Sat 18-Jun-16 10:28:34

Avoid! They are inconsiderate .... And trust your instincts

WellErrr Sat 18-Jun-16 10:31:05

YWNBU to be pissed off when it happened.

YABVU to still be holding a grudge and refusing to see them TWO YEARS later.

YA also BU for saying 'hubby.'

Parker231 Sat 18-Jun-16 10:36:24

Why are you refusing to visit them now? If your DH wants to go surely he can take your DC? Sounds like you are unreasonably holding a grudge. Your children are going to come into contact with numerous illnesses - are they are nursery?

MrsJayy Sat 18-Jun-16 10:41:27

Tbf the op knows her dc will get ill but these people allowed their child who was infectious crawl and slober over a tiny baby thats what she is annoyed at.

IssMc Sat 18-Jun-16 10:43:13

You ANBU or if you are I would be too. Your baby was six weeks old - I'd still be pissed off two years later. Send hubby alone. No point going if you are going to hate it.

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