AIBU or is my husband?

(15 Posts)
Splandy Sat 18-Jun-16 08:42:02

Yesterday we received a letter from the land registry stating my husband's name was finally there as the owner of this house. It marks the end of a long, stressful year for us, involving his mother's death, probate, theft, a new baby and all sorts of horrible things going on with the executors. It's dragged on for a long time and we have been so desperate for it to be over. We said we'd have a little celebration once it was all done and have had champagne in the fridge waiting.

Finally got the news yesterday. So pleased! We bought curly wurlies and Ben and Jerrys ice cream to go with our champagne blush it was just going to be a nice little thing once the kids were in bed. We rarely spend evenings together at all because of his job I was looking forward to us being able to finally think about the future and relax.

Then he watched football and fell asleep. He'd already watched a match just before it. I was a bit annoyed when he said there was another he wanted to watch, but was hardly going to tell him he couldn't, so thought we'd have our champagne afterwards. So he watched it, then fell asleep. I tried to talk to him a it, though he might wake up but then got really annoyed at him and told him to go upstairs to bed because there was no point in him being downstairs, and he did.

I am SO annoyed that this was quite a big deal to me, and I sat there like an idiot waiting for him to decide to spend some time with me. It made me feel like shit. He managed to make time for two football matches though.

He's now annoyed at me, apparently over the way I spoke to him last night. Claims he wouldn't be bothered if it was the other way around and I always fall asleep I front of the tv. I do, but that is irrelevant. I fall asleep when we're just watching crap together on the telly, not when I've prioritised watching things above spending time with him and he's waiting around for me to actually talk to him! angry

Gazelda Sat 18-Jun-16 08:53:06

I can understand your disappointment. But couldn't you have opened the champagne and had the football on in the background while you chatted?

Don't let this spoil a time you've both been looking forward to.

clam Sat 18-Jun-16 08:54:04

he said there was another he wanted to watch, but I was hardly going to tell him he couldn't

Why not? Well, maybe not tell him, but surely that was the point at which you should have discussed the plan for the rest of the evening?

Howmuchisthatdoggyinthewindow Sat 18-Jun-16 08:55:32

I can understand you being disappointed but if you aren't both careful the whole celebration day will be remembered as a big arguement.

Forget it and maybe rearrange for tonight and agree to turn the telly off?

DeathStare Sat 18-Jun-16 08:59:18

Seriously? He was tired. He fell asleep watching TV.

I think the pressure of the last year is making you turn this into an issue that it isn't.

Splandy Sat 18-Jun-16 09:06:58

I mentioned opening champagne while football was on and he was adamant it was going to be its own special little thing. I did talk to him a bit while football was on, but he hadmade a little nest of cushions on the floor to get full enjoyment, so we weren't near each other and he wasn't really paying attention. I did tell him I wasn't too happy for another football match to be on, but he rarely watches football and I thought we'd still get some time together afterwards so I didn't think it'd be a big deal.

I feel like he chose football over me! He's the one who excitedly phoned me to tell me champagne was in the fridge yesterday afternoon! Couldn't wait to tell me. We won't get another evening together until next week. It's not quite the same now.

Splandy Sat 18-Jun-16 09:10:29

I did attempt to open the bottle by myself once he'd gone up, but I couldn't work out how to do it blush and thought it might go flat by the time he decided he wanted some. Made sure I ate two of the celebratory curly wurlies though!

dowhatnow Sat 18-Jun-16 09:12:38

I can understand your disappointment but he didn't really plan on it ending the way it did. The weight was lifted off both your shoulders. He relaxed and unfortunately fell asleep. Not what he or you planned but not really the crime of the century. Yanbu for being disappointed at how the evening eventually panned out though.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 18-Jun-16 09:37:15

Two football matches on what was supposed to be a special celebratory evening?? Yanbu at all - but I would have said something before the second match

arethereanyleftatall Sat 18-Jun-16 11:45:39

I think yabu but I can understand your disappointment. Why does what you wanted to do trump what he wanted to do?

arethereanyleftatall Sat 18-Jun-16 11:48:02

He did choose football over you, but I think that's fine. Sometimes I choose watching bntm over talking to my dh. Doesn't mean I don't love him, just that I wanted to zone out a while.

BlackVelvet1 Sat 18-Jun-16 11:52:15

I think YAB a little U as I don't think he planned to fall asleep.

TheNaze73 Sat 18-Jun-16 12:34:22

I think YABU.

Robbo78 Sat 18-Jun-16 13:20:13

Do it tonight. Let last night go, sounds like you both have had a stressful time. I sometimes got face on when our son was small if my husband wanted to sleep at random timesblush Usually jealous because i wanted to sleep too. Now we just let each other nap whenever.

topcat2014 Sat 18-Jun-16 13:36:28

Too much enforced planning can kill most things - like Robbo said, have another go tonight.

Try not to spend too much time stage managing life, and things may look up.

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