To ask about division of labour

[limon]

One partner works full time and is main breadwinner) the other is a sahp and works one day a week outside the home, child is in full time education.

What's fair around housework?

[PPie10]

The bulk of the work should be done by sahp whilst child is at school.

[FeckinCrutches]

Bulk of the work by sahp.

[mamas12]

As soon as the woh parent is home it's all 50/50
That includes, housework, parenting and Me time

[MakeItRain]

I don't think there's a "should" in this. It's whatever both parents are happy with. In that scenario, if I were the sahp I would do lots of housework on a day when the child was at school. But another sahp might hate housework and the family be in a position to employ a cleaner. The parent who works might be extremely messy, and the other parent may not want to tidy his/her mess. Both parents may want a cleaner. The working parent may have higher expectations for cleanliness and tidiness and prefer to do it him/herself, or belittle the other parent's efforts so he/she doesn't feel inclined to do it..... etc there's no "right" answer!

[limon]

mamas12 I completely agree . But what if the sahp never cleans toilets and leaves the days mess until the woh parent gets home?

[MakeItRain]

Toilets can be an emotive subject when it comes to cleaning. I think adults should clean up after themselves. One person shouldn't be expected to clean up after everyone else. It's revolting to clean up after someone else has been in the loo. Unless it's your children which doesn't seem so bad!

How much mess is being left and what sort of mess is it? I would hate to walk into a bombsite everyday after work. But a few bits and pieces lying around is normal. Who's making all the mess?

[Parker231]

What does the SAHP do whilst the DC's are at school?

[44PumpLane]

Provided the WOH parent isn't shitting and pissing all over the bathrooms and leaving crap all over the kitchen, if I was the SAHP I would expect to do the bulk of cleaning, laundry, food shop etc during the 4 days when I'm not working outside the home and the other parent is out at work.

As soon as knock off time arrived for the WOH parent I would expect anything else to be shared 50/50.

In my current situation (2 adults, no kids, one dog, 4 bedroom house) I believe that in 4 days of 10-3 I would be able to fully clean the house, do all laundry (inc bedding and towels), online food shop and some meal prep or batch cooking and still have time left over for myself (I could be kidding myself though) so that would be my expectation in my personal circumstance.

[limon]

We have a three bed house with one small bathroom and one showroom. In half an hour per day, imho, the whole house coukd be kept clean and tidy. The mess that's left is often the days toys plus books, nightclothes, some plates etc. The sahp rarely does the actual cleaning so the woh parent does all of the bathroom cleaning, wiping down in living room so it's so.études several days accumulate.

[PimmsIsMyDrinkOfChoice]

So what actually is the SAHP doing all day?

[44PumpLane]

Yes, what's the SAHP doing? Do they have other daytime commitments that are important for the family or are they (in your opinion) just do siding about?

[Middleoftheroad]

When I was a sahp I did all the housework and dinner school runs family finances etc DP washed up bins garden diy etc.

Now I work 4days a week and not much had changed. I still do the lion's share and all the school runs family stuff etc and it is a bone of contention.

[Robbo78]

Is there any depression with the sahp? For the first 3 months after having our Son, i did literally nothing i was an emotional wreak. Dh worked full time, did all night feeds, all washing, sterilising of bottles before he left for work..doh.