aibu not to invite my son's whole class to his birthday party?

(11 Posts)
thefourgp Thu 16-Jun-16 21:18:26

Ds is five turning six. He's asked for a birthday party with friends from his class this year. Usually we just have adult family members round to the house. I don't fancy having a kids party at my home so I've looked into a birthday party at the local soft play which I know he'd love. He's a really friendly and popular little boy so he's friends with most of the other children in his class. I don't think I can afford a party for 20 kids. Min number to book the party is 10. Would it be okay to only invite half his class? Is that mean to those who don't get invited? I know they're young but I wouldn't want this to cause any problems with the kids who don't get invited. Am I overthinking this? I was painfully shy at school so I'm very wary of making a child feel left out. Any advice?

RJnomore1 Thu 16-Jun-16 21:19:18

Yes it's fine. What isn't fine is to invite all the class except one child. Inviting half is not a problem.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 16-Jun-16 21:24:19

Half is fine. Almost no one can afford to invite everyone.

marblestatue Thu 16-Jun-16 21:38:08

Up to half the class is fine. The thing to avoid is inviting most of the class and leaving out one or a few.

ColdTeaAgain Thu 16-Jun-16 21:51:59

We haven't got to the school birthday party stage yet but I definitely won't be inviting the whole class. Apart from it being too expensive, it just seems like it would be overwhelming for a lot of children. I'm sure most children would much prefer a party with a small group of their friends rather than the whole class.

AlwaysDancing1234 Thu 16-Jun-16 21:56:27

We are inviting 10 out of a class of 26 so half is fine- inviting 23 out of the 26 for example would not be fine.
I always found DS and his friends were a bit overwhelmed at 'whole class' parties as it's too noisy and chaotic however well planned.

CuntingDMjournos Thu 16-Jun-16 22:04:47

Half is OK but make sure your DS knows exactly who is on the list as otherwise you'll have numerous queries yelled over the playground Mum can Jonny come to my party, I'ce asked him and you say no darling he's not invited we haven't got room for everyone and he shouts back sorry Jonny Mum says you can't come or people approach you asking if their child is coming etc etc this is what happened when I invited half the class one year (random mix of boys / girls).
On another occasion I invited 10 out of 16 girls then 2 couldn't come and I had minimum numbers needed to make up a team for an activity so invited 2 more and had the mum of one of the 4 girls not invited very upset with me even though kids are yr 4 and friendship groups been established for a long time and this girl and my DD never play together!
Doing all girls or all boys is an easy way of cutting numbers down.

Nataleejah Thu 16-Jun-16 22:26:41

Yanbu.
I never understood that 'whole class' thing. Friends and relatives only. Not neccesserily from school. They see whole class everyday at school anyway

thefourgp Fri 17-Jun-16 01:04:47

Thanks for the replies. Always I think you're right. I took him to another party including the whole class and it was pretty chaotic and incredibly loud. Lol. I'll stick to half. Journos I'll make sure he knows exactly who's coming and not to invite any others. The only kids in dh's and my families are our two and an older cousin. My sister and two best friends don't want children so it'll just be his school friends and his sibling. I can't wait to see his happy wee face. Thanks again. X

EveryoneElsie Fri 17-Jun-16 01:10:00

We used to have 6 or 8 out of 26, or closest friends only for an expensive day out or treat. It was fine.
Do proper invites and make him write them out, it cuts back on casual ones you dont know about!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Fri 17-Jun-16 01:59:09

YNBU. The main unwritten rules about parties are.
You don't invite the whole class and with the exception of one child.
You don't invite all the girls with the exception of girl
Same with the boys
If you only invite close friends. All children in the friendship group should be included.

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