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AIBU?

to consider a tutor for dc who is working at a year below ?

29 replies

SeptemberFlowers · 16/06/2016 16:15

DH and I had a meeting with dd's teacher today and we expressed concern that she was working below her year level.

The teacher agreed and said pretty much in all areas that dd was working at the year below. DD is working in the lowest set for all areas Sad and she is aware of it. She is an avid reader though and enjoys reading stories every night.

We have suggested a tutor however her teacher felt this was perhaps not the best idea and just to keep with current concepts over the summer and said he would be happy to provide some extra resources and pointers.

I understand where he is coming from however we both feel that DD would benefit from a tutor over the summer months to help her prepare for the next year. As I'm conscious that the more she moves up at school the bigger the gap will get. The school have put steps in place for her so she doesn't fall behind further and the gap doesn't widen but I'm just thinking surely we can help her get that bit of extra help to help bring her up to be working at an average level ?

She is quite an anxious child and is getting a bit upset at the thought of being so behind and 'different' to her peers.

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iwantavuvezela · 16/06/2016 16:18

If you can afford it why not. The tutor should be able to assess what areas your child is struggling in, go back to concepts they don't understand, and work on these areas.

I cannot see how helping someone with areas they are struggling can be a bad idea, and will help your child feel more able when they return to school. You can still access the school support next academic year, but this should also give you an insight of where your DD is, how she learns etc.

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redskytonight · 16/06/2016 16:18

How old is she?

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slgsue1979 · 16/06/2016 16:19

How old is she and what year is she currently in? I would feel the same but how much extra help which BTW the school should be giving her would depend on her age for me.

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Keithyoustink · 16/06/2016 16:20

Good quality 1:1 tuition can make a huge difference both academically and to self-esteem. I wouldn't hesitate if you can find someone suitable.

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LIZS · 16/06/2016 16:20

How old is she? It sounds OTT to be overly concerned for primary age, especially if school are offering intervention and advice.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 16/06/2016 16:22

I understand where he is coming from I don't. What's the logic?

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eyebrowsonfleek · 16/06/2016 16:22

Did the teacher explain why a tutor was inappropriate?

It could be because it's hard to find a good one rather than its not possible for your dd to catch up.

Or it could be that it's a question of sitting down with her and practicing tables or whatever so she's confident.

I have a son who's definitely not going to be meeting the new expectations for his year in literacy. His maths and reading are fine but his writing is behind so I plan to get him to write regularly during the holidays so he goes back to school ready to go.

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LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 16/06/2016 16:23

What year is she in?

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grannytomine · 16/06/2016 16:30

My GS has had a tutor for about 4 months. He has progressed more than in the last 12 months even though we were helping at home. I commented that he did alot of work with tutor and he said it was because she is such a good teacher and he gets more done in an hour that he does in a day at school.

I've never used a tutor and always felt I could do enough to help mine at home but I have to admit the change has been dramatic.

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AppleSetsSail · 16/06/2016 16:32

We need to know what year she's in to advise.

I have an able 10 year old, but we arranged for him to have some English tutoring in the run up to to his 11+ mocks. His writing improved appreciably.

I am a big believer in 1:1 learning. Unfortunately it doesn't always work terribly well with a parent and child.

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LiveLifeWithPassion · 16/06/2016 16:36

I wouldn't hesitate.
Part of success at school is a love of learning. That can come through confidence and not feeling like everything's a struggle.
I've always done extra work with my kids through the summer holidays.
Not too much but half an hr to an hour 4-5 times a week. Usually through work books and some online resources like education city and carol vordermans maths summer school and the library reading challenge.
We listen to timestables songs on YouTube most mornings and do lots of practical stuff too.
It's not because I want them to be top of the class or anything but because I want them to be happy at school.

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SeptemberFlowers · 16/06/2016 16:36

Thanks for the answers so far.

She's 6 (August born), about to enter Yr3 from September.

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LiveLifeWithPassion · 16/06/2016 16:39

Sorry posted too soon - when ds1 dropped a maths group and felt down about it, I got him a tutor for some 1 to 1 and it made a huge difference to his confidence and ability.

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JustHappy3 · 16/06/2016 16:39

Tutorinv worked for us because it gave me ideas/wording to use when we did homework together. But more than anything as a confidence thing - we had a very positive "you can do this" tutor and i think having the time to work through blank spots has been great.
That said some things do click for some kids later than others - but it's not a chance i'm prepared to take with my kid.

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AppleSetsSail · 16/06/2016 16:40

Hm. On the cusp, I'd say.

Which subjects would you tutor her in?

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redskytonight · 16/06/2016 16:40

At 6 (so 7 in August?) I wouldn't be thinking about a tutor. I'd be focusing on "learning through play" over the summer. You can get a lot of maths into things like cooking and boardgames. Think about writing a summer diary or postcards to grandparents. Enter the library summer book challenge. Have some days out to interesting places (not necessarily ones that cost lots of money!). I'd say keeping her interested in learning is the main thing. I'd worry if you tutor over the summer you may put her off learning altogether.

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AppleSetsSail · 16/06/2016 16:42

I don't think it's terribly unusually for an August born year 2 child to be slightly behind.

You say she's an avid reader, so how far behind could she really be in English? Is this maths?

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slgsue1979 · 16/06/2016 17:02

My ds was behind when he was in year 2 but the school gave extra help for those behind and he quickly progressed. Now he is in year 8 and very confident in his ability and exceptionally bright so for him extra help in a small group worked fantastically but if he or any of my children were struggling I would look at private tuition although how much would depend on their age.
At 6 I would probably take a trip to the local book shop and get some of the work books and get them to spend a little time each week working through them though not forcing them to. And be as encouraging as you can, praise praise praise even if it is just praising the effort it goes a long way.
Perhaps the learning environment and/or the teacher is the problem there are many reasons that when changed in the new school year may see results

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TooGood2BeFalse · 16/06/2016 17:05

Bless her heart! Only 6! Remind her if she was in another country (Finland?7 yrs?) she wouldn't even be in school yet. By all means get her a tutor, mainly for her confidence.I doubt a 6 year can be THAT far behind surely (waits for teacher to correct me Blush )

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Alibobbob · 16/06/2016 17:15

I think your teachers concern is that your daughter will be taught methods different to those the school use. I would say go for it but take her school books with you - they usually give them at the end of the year.

I felt my daughter was falling behind so paid for one to one tuition. We found out later that she has dyslexia - I am not suggesting your daughter has a learning disability just my experience.

Do what is best for your daughter she will probably have a different teacher next year anyway.

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LIZS · 16/06/2016 17:43

6! Remember she is almost a year younger than the eldest in her year group, so is probably pretty much in line with her peers. There is often an overlap of ability in primary years. Lots of games and reinforcement over the summer. Most children regress over the break so you just need to ensure she doesn't and is keen to learn come September. Accept the reassurance of the teacher who has a broader experience at this stage.

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mumeeee · 16/06/2016 17:55

At 6 she is still young and as an August born child she will be the youngest in her year so much younger than some of her peers. She doesn't need a tutor

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WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 16/06/2016 17:59

For a six year old I would just keep nurturing her love of reading, practice practical maths (eg while shopping) and practical science concepts like solids and liquids (eg cooking) and maybe weekly go through the work the teacher suggested.

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Keithyoustink · 16/06/2016 18:10

Hi. I've just seen she's only 6 - so take back my earlier advice as she is too young really. I would stick to lots of reading and talking about books, board games, may be some fun educational apps - something like puppet pals where she could write and narrate her own script. Lots of activities like cooking so she's learning about quantity in a practical way. Letting her buy and pay for sweets or magazines with coins so she has to find the right money. Buy her a watch and help her learn how to tell the time.

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areyoubeingserviced · 16/06/2016 19:06

Go back to basics OP.
Learn times tables , basic addition and subtraction.
The fact that she is an avid reader is great.
If you think that she would benefit from tuition and you can afford it then go ahead.
However, the tuition should be informal and fun.

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