To think this is too much?

[MiserlyMisery]

I have just received a letter from the DS's class reps informing me that we want to thank DS's teachers Mrs F (4 days a week) and Mrs C (1 day a week) for their work that of Mrs F can only be described as mediocre at best and to give them a present. Each child will make a flower for each teacher. They will buy a plant and the flowers will be laid in the flower pot. I must bring the completed flowers, along with a tenner to their house by X date.

There are 21 children in the class, assuming the family with twins only pays once that is 200 with which to buy two plants. AIBU to think this is crazy?

I will state that I intensely dislike Mrs F who has done absolutely nothing for DS this past year and who quite honestly in my biased opinion should not be teaching. I resent being instructed that I am to hand this money over for her. Is this normal procedure and its just my dislike colouring my reaction or would you ask what they are planning to buy exactly?

[gabsdot]

I hate these group collections. Just say you've already sorted something yourself and don't want to be included.

[Orchidflower1]

It's a bit cheeky to assume some can afford/ want to spend £10 on teachers gift - what about those with siblings in other classes to buy for too?

[Baconyum]

Stuff that! Ridiculous!

For starters not compulsory and they shouldn't give the impression it's expected.

For another that's WAY too much money £2.50 per child would be enough. But then I suspect they're also planning on buying them something too. But not for totally altruistic reasons.

Plus if she's a shit teacher then she doesn't deserve anything! (My dd had one like that get where you're coming from!)

[WellErrr]

Just say 'thanks for thinking of asking us but we're already sorted.'

Don't hand the money over!

[HelloHola]

In all my schooling life, I only chipped in for a present for the teacher at the end of my GCSE's - he was a really deserving English teacher.

Unless a teacher goes above and beyond for you/your child, then why should they get a present? And £10 per person! Surely only a £1!

I wouldn't pay up.

[Birdsgottafly]

I think teachers gifts should be edible/drinkable, or a gift voucher.

That's way too much money, if it's a class collection, it should be £1-2.

I'd be speaking to another Parent and objecting, now.

[Mrskeats]

I'm not sure how you are qualified to say that a teacher 'is mediocre at best'
Are you in the classroom all day?
The present thing is up to you

[Susiebearlove]

If you don't like her, don't contribute in anyway. She's leaving so it shouldn't affect your children's education/teaching. I don't contribute to people's leaving presents if I don't feel they deserve it. I wouldn't feel that they deserve the respect.

[EarthboundMisfit]

I was a bit irritated by this last year. I'm doing my own thing this time. Which will be Costa and Amazon vouchers, just like every year!

[MiserlyMisery]

It's not a leaving present. Its the end of year present. She will, unfortunately, be "teaching" my DD next year.

I suppose it's to PA to send in the one for Mrs C and just half the money...

[MiserlyMisery]

too

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

I'm a teacher and would be horrified to think that parents were being put under pressure to contribute silly money to a joint gift.

However I don't think that's the issue here. If you have such a problem with Mrs F then what constructive things have you actually done to address it? Hopefully you're only dismissing her completely and slagging her off on here, not in RL.

[Susiebearlove]

Sorry. I was under that impression it was a leaving gift. I've never heard of giving a gift at the end of the year (from when I was a kid). Do other parents think the same? I would think a gift "coming from the children" should be more thoughtful (e.g. Something made) and not financial. See if there's a consensus amoungst the parents and challenge it that way. Is a class rep a parent? I don't know this stuff as my child doesn't start school until September

[MiserlyMisery]

Yes, class reps are parents.

I have had several meetings with the teacher as it is seen as bad form here to go directly to the headmaster with complaints. I do however have a meeting with the head and her next week to ask for an assurance that my DD will not face the same issues as my DS has had to.

[LazyJournalistsQuoteMN]

Is there not some code of ethics rule about receiving cash gifts? Our teachers always ask for a donation to a charity instead of gifts.

[TurncoatEwok]

Fuck that. I never bothered doing the class collections. Following the time we were all asked for money for DD's wonderful reception teacher who was leaving to have a baby. I thought I might contribute until the class reps said they were spending the entire amount on a crystal animal ornament. DD chose the baby some board books instead, and we got a lovely personal thank you letter which we still have years later.

We sometimes 'thought outside the box' with presents and they were always well received. Like a set of 60 good quality blank cards for each child to draw two of the same picture, so they had their own class memory game. I was invited into the classroom to see it when they'd made it. When DD was at nursery I couldn't afford to get chocolates etc for each of the teachers, so I bought a set of puppets from the charity shop I worked in at the time. DD's keyworker hugged me when she opened it.

There's no reason you HAVE to contribute to a collection. It's a shame that the teacher hasn't been good for your DC, that's a whole separate issue of course, but either way no, you certainly don't have to do what everyone else is doing, and yes, £10 is steep!

[MiserlyMisery]

Oh and I've not been slagging her off in real life. I might have mentioned to a few other parents what has been happening to DS in the class and asking for their advice i.e. if it's normal here (I am an ex-pat) and I should leave it or if I should complain and how to go about it.

[allegretto]

We always buy class presents but 2 pounds is plenty - the whole point of group presents is that you can still get something nice and spend less!

[Susiebearlove]

Well may be this parent thinks this teacher has been good to her kids but fails to see that she's been a right fanny to others. I feel that you may feel obliged to contribute as not to ostracise yourself or your children so I'd try to reduce the amount requested. Is she a fickle person because something made by the children would be more appreciated (obviously by a nice person)

[CeciCC]

We do class collections but they are voluntary, both to contribute and the amount to contribute. AT the end, whatever amount we have collected, gets divided between the T and TAs, teachers get more percentage and usually is vouchers and a Thank you card for each. Now, as not all the parents collect from school, we do write a message and sign the names of the kids whose parents have contributed.

[namechangedtoday15]

Class collections at Christmas and end of the school year here. £10 is generally "expected" - but some people give £5. Definitely has to be a note [shocked]. I was the class rep a few years ago, hated it, but there is almost an expectation from the other parents that the class rep will sort it. I think we collected £200+ at both Christmas and end of the school year.

[TheNaze73]

YANBU, what a load of bollocks

[Lindt70Percent]

I wouldn't contribute either and would say I was doing my own thing.

I've only joined in with these group things once - at the end of Year 6 when there was a contribution to buy something for the school from the leaving year group.

I was a class rep for one year and didn't organise a group collection for the class; I was new to the school and didn't realise it was a thing. Probably didn't make myself popular but I really didn't care - school's for the kids not the parents.