AIBU to think I have no social skills?

(9 Posts)
Imnotbilly Sat 11-Jun-16 11:25:47

Hi
I don't have many friends at all, and find it hard to make new ones. I currently go to a toddler group and I spoke to a mum there once, now every time I see her I smile and say hello,and that's as far as it goes.

The reason I don't really like talking to people is that I think they're just not interested at all in talking to me. Should I go over to this other mum and start chatting? I don't want to force myself on her if she's not interested in talking to me.

Imnotbilly Sat 11-Jun-16 11:26:49

Stupid phone, posted too soon.

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say, but is it me or am I socially inept?
Thanks!

Lweji Sat 11-Jun-16 11:30:40

People tend to like those who are open and welcoming.
One trick to talk to people is to ask them about themselves. It shows your interested in them and what they have to say. Offer a bit about yourself too, but don't share too much unless they ask questions.
But don't expect to make friends with everyone. And some people tale longer to wam up to a friendship. Some are just as shy as you are. smile

Imnotbilly Sat 11-Jun-16 11:34:25

Thanks. Funny you called me shy, I would never call myself shy, and I don't think most people who know me would, but I guess I really am!! Wow, insight moment!!

Kidnapped Sat 11-Jun-16 11:36:06

Yes, YABU to think that you have no social skills.

I always think those people with no social skills are those people that dominate all conversations, talk over you constantly and are completely oblivious to someone else's body language.

Can you think of a couple of things that you can have a chat about with the other mum? Even if it is just 'How's Bobby getting on with his teething?' or 'Those are lovely wellies that Bobby has on. Where did you get them?' or something. Or just talk directly to the child 'Oh, you look wonderful dressed as a bear today, Bobby. Just like a real bear'.

I always think that asking for benign help is a good way to get chatting. Like 'Do you know of any dentists/kids clothing stores in the area?' kind of thing.

NavyAndWhite Sat 11-Jun-16 11:38:02

It takes a little time to get to know someone.

Be friendly and chatty. Make small talk. Build it up. You'll soon get to know people and make some friends.smile

Mrsfancyfanjango Sat 11-Jun-16 11:39:43

We sound alike, I have had friends over the years but I am quite introverted and the friendships faded away. I don't have any people I would call friends and haven't since I had my first DC 3 years ago.
I agree with being open and welcoming, easier said than done though. The main struggle I have is going from friendly to friendship, sorry I have no words of advice but you are definitely not alone!

Lweji Sat 11-Jun-16 11:41:30

Sorry for jumping to a conclusion, but, yes, shy people can be talkative, just not so much approaching strangers.
You could be an introvert, but those don't tend to worry about talking to people and can be happy keeping to themselves.
But do say a few words every time you meet someone. Whatever it is.

Imnotbilly Sat 11-Jun-16 11:50:09

I may have given the wrong impression that I want to make friends! I am definitely introverted and prefer being on my own, but I would like to be friendly with the people I meet, especially for the sake of dc. I think my biggest problem is lack of self esteem.

All these are great tips and I shall try hard to use them in the future.

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