AIBU it's not ok he always takes out stress on me

(9 Posts)
Pjpjpj123 Sat 11-Jun-16 09:41:02

I know it's normal to sometimes take it out on those closest to you when you're stressed. Not ideal but it happens, usually as isolated instances followed by an apology?? AIBU to feel it's not ok for this to be relentless over a long period of time? It's never physical just snapping or silent treatment if I do anything "wrong". Have tried to explain to dh how I feel but he just gets upset or angry and feels like I'm accusing him of being a horrible person. Says it's normal to vent your stresses on your partner. So AIBU?

AnyFucker Sat 11-Jun-16 09:46:52

Well, he is a horrible person.

Why are you taking this ? You are not his emotional punching bag. Tell him to pack it in or he can fuck right off if his life with you is soooo terrible.

sepa Sat 11-Jun-16 09:48:12

No it's not normal

Diamogs Sat 11-Jun-16 09:49:47

Wise words as always from AF.

Don't put up with his shit.

AugustaFinkNottle Sat 11-Jun-16 09:53:13

Silent treatment and constantly looking for things your partner is doing "wrong" is not taking out stress, it's being a childish dickhead. Tell him to grow up or ship out.

Birdsgottafly Sat 11-Jun-16 09:56:15

It's normal, in an abusive relationship, to act abusively and find reasons to blame other, for your behaviour.

You won't get a reasonable answer from your Partner, because there isn't one.

There's loads of stuff linked on the Relationship board, about abusive relationships, Types of abuse/abuser and getting out of that relationship.

We can all have 'off' moments, but it's not right to make others are 'whipping boys'.

I grew up with very negative parents, who would take things out on me and I had to teach myself that, that behaviour wasn't right.

Your Partner is telling you that he thinks his behaviour is fine and that your feelings don't matter, so he's got no need to change.

Pjpjpj123 Sat 11-Jun-16 19:21:06

Thank you so much for your replies!! And for what it's worth I agree with every one of you. I just don't see how I can possibly leave, I have 3 very young children (the youngest is only 1) and if he went for joint custody there'd be no reason for him not to get it. So looks like I'm stuck for now. At least I know I'm not just being over sensitive to feel the way I do. Thanks xx

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 11-Jun-16 19:48:34

What would be wrong with co-parenting 50:50 after you split?

Most people would consider that desirable.

Does he currently look after the children 50:50 at home?

HandyWoman Sat 11-Jun-16 20:43:46

You have every reason to leave primarily:

Your very young children will have the opportunity to grow up without an an abusive relationship to emulate when the are adults

You get to live your life in peace, and won't have to grow and grey with a horrible man who hates, humiliates and undermines you for his own ends.

50/50 custody doesn't look so bad in light of these facts, surely?

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