My AIBU is two-fold although relating to the same thing..
DP are unofficially engaged i.e. we've discussed in length getting married (we have 2 kids together) and know we will at some point. It therefore seems a bit pointless for him to "officially" propose with a ring. It will be my second marriage and his first.
We've discussed the type of wedding we would have and it just seems to grow arms and legs and is costing more and more the further we discuss it! If we go ahead with this type of wedding it will take us YEARS to actually get there as we have other priorities at the moment as we're saving for a house deposit.
The reason the wedding we've been discussing has been getting bigger is due to the size of my family (divorced parents) and also DP would like to invite his aunts/uncles so I feel I would have to invite mine etc etc so it's turning into a usual run of the mill (expensive) wedding which we have both said we don't want (nor can afford).
We have started discussing eloping and telling no one. We broached this subject before but as it's DP's first marriage he feels his mum would be upset not to even be informed never mind not seeing us get married (understandable) so we changed our minds. However due to our recent talks about a wedding with family it's just not doable for many years to come. Plus I don't think my parents would be too happy for us to elope either, also it does seem quite quite sneaky keeping a secret like this then coming back and telling them. I think a lot of people would be upset.
If we eloped we would go away for a couple of days to our favourite place, get married just the 2 of us and spend a lovely evening together having a nice meal. That sounds blissful to me! No pressure to have an expensive engagement ring, what the venue is like, what the meal is like etc etc. I've been there, done that and I really do not want to go through all that planning again never mind wasting all that money. DP is not keen on that type of wedding at all either.
Additionally, we would have a type of reception/party afterwards once we've told everyone we are married however we do not want any gifts or cash... how we would go about letting people know this without sounding rude?!
So WWBU to elope and, if we did, to ask for no gifts/cash?? Any other suggestions greatly appreciated!
I guess I'm looking for validation that we're not being selfish to elope...
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AIBU?
To think about eloping and also asking for no gifts/cash?
166 replies
PirateTrophy · 11/06/2016 09:17
OP posts:
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