To think she could have cleaned up a little

[meggy22]

Ok I'm asking this as I am genuinely wondering if I abu! We are visiting family. We have traveled a long way and it is the first time we have visited in 12 months. Also the first time family have met our baby. MIL offered for us to stay with her as she has a lot of space. She has a self contained 'granny flat' at the side of her house. We arrived today and it's filthy. I mean not just messy but really dirty. I am by no means fussy but I really am considering finding other accommodation. I have a two year old and a young baby. The bathroom looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a year, urine all around the toilet, poo on the toilet seat. The shower is just filthy. There's a smell in the house that I can't even describe. The floors are dirty the kitchen has mouldy old food and dishes that look like they have been there for months. Anyways you get the idea. May I add mil knew we were coming since before Christmas and offered for us to stay here.i feel like crying, this is our only annual leave this summer and I know mil will hit the ceiling if we say we can't stay here. So please tell me what would you do and aibu???

[SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes]

I'd leave. If you can afford it. That's very unfair on you.

[ThatStewie]

If you can afford it, I would leave too. That's disgusting :(

[KP86]

Can you afford to hire a cleaner through the Handy app or similar for 5-6 hours tomorrow and disappear while they are there? Probably cheaper than finding other accommodation at this stage.

[ShatnersBassoon]

I'd stay but tell her you're going to have to have a major clean up. What does your husband have to say? He must be very embarrassed.

[steppemum]

well, honestly? No YANBU, but if it were me, i would clean it. Large bottle of flash and a few cloths.

I would tell MIL, and maybe do it sideways 'blimey who stayed in your flat last time? they left it in a right pig sty didn't they?'

Next time, I would spell it out, I can only come of the flat has been thoroughly cleaned.

[steppemum]

btw, not sure if that is the best or right thing to do, just what I would end up doing.

[WaitrosePigeon]

That's so so so bad. What does DH say?

[FankEweVeryMuch]

Could she have thought it was clean/ the blast people to stay had left it clean. Does she have form for being this unthoughtful or is this out of character?

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Is your MIL's part of the house in the same state?

[MrsSpecter]

Yanbu.

And no i wouldnt clean it. For two reasons

1. this is your holiday!
   
   
2. she will be back to that state within days of you having left. This is how she lives. Most likely she wont be grateful for you cleaning as she either doesnt think it needs done or will be annoyed that you pointed out that it did.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

That's grim. I would feel suddenly ill and leave.

[MrsSpecter]

I have misunderstood, MIL doesnt live in the flat? So she didnt create the mess? Even so she must clearly think it is an acceptable state to have guests in. I still wouldnt clean it. You would resent it forever. Find a B&B or cheap hotel.

[meggy22]

Her house is clean. I think she may have not cleaned on purpose which upsets us even more. We don't get on great but it never crossed my mind she would do this!! Ive just been out to ask her if she has a brush and pan and she said oh is the place not up to your standards!!! I would be embarrassed to get a cleaner in here to be honest. We have decided to leave in the morning. It's going to cause a row but really we can't spend our holidays here. Thanks for your answers, I was thinking maybe I should have just cleaned it but it's that dirty I'm not sure where I would start with the two little ones!

[FankEweVeryMuch]

I think your decision is fair enough and one I would make in your shoes.

[meggy22]

Oh forgot to add it's her mess because she spends time in the flat during the day, it's kind of attached to her house so she goes in and out and doesn't let it out. Her mum used to live there before she passed.

[MrsSpecter]

Hang on, so she goes in and uses her deceased mother's home to shit and piss all over and make a mess in so she can keep her proper home all clean? I bet she doesnt entertain visitors in the granny flat

[RunLillian]

Is your DH there? What does he say? How has he tackled this with his mother?

YANBU.

[leelu66]

YANBU at all OP. I hope she lives far enough away that you rarely have to visit.

[BastardGoDarkly]

'Oh, is it not up to your standards' ?! Horrible cow. I'd have said... No it fucking isn't you minging witch.

Poor you, and poor dh too!

I hope you find somewhere lovely to finish your holiday

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

I'd go elsewhere. Ick.

[Damselindestress]

When I first read your post I had concerns that your MIL might be struggling to cope with cleaning etc but then I read that her house is clean so leaving your accommodation in a state sounds like a deliberate snub. That's disgusting. What kind of person leaves piss and shit in a place where she knows her young grandchildren will be staying? What does your DH think about this?

[PegsPigs]

What would cause least fuss: asking her to help you clean it or leaving to stay somewhere else?

[TheHobbitMum]

She sounds awful! I'd of left tonight 🙁